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I told him not to take her there, but he did. I have read not to take dementia patients to familiar places to avoid confusion. Now what?

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That's too bad that he took her to her old home and caused confusion. Hopefully she will get back to remembering that she lives with you now, real soon.
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It's a good idea to make sure that prior partner really understands how confused the old-home visit has made her. He needs to see it himself, not just have you tell him. If he doesn't believe you, it could happen again.
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Your profile says your mother is 89. How old is her partner? Equally as old? Is it possible he also has cognitive decline that is affecting his ability to remember what he was told or to make good decisions? Are you her durable PoA? If so, I would mandate that all visits now take place at your home only and he cannot be with her unaccompanied. He is a variable that needs to be controlled. Do they own the home equally together? If so, can he buy out her half? If your mother is the only owner, is there a reason the home cannot be sold and management made simpler? Lots to think about!
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