My 83 yr mom lives by herself at home, falls down and calls 911 to lift her up. If she calls 911 too many times what happens then?

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I'm not sure which topic to put this under?
Recently my mom (83) fell down twice in one weekend - 1st time she sprained her ankle and neighbors in her trailer park helped her -
the 2nd time she called 911 because it was 3 am on her way to the bathroom. She is able to walk with a cane on her sprained ankle.
If she falls she knows to go to the steps so her feet are below her so she can lift herself up by the stair railing. She was able to lift herself up the 1st time but the 2nd time she was too tired trying and called 911. She just had them lift her up back into her lazyboy-she is very overweight and cannot lift herself up from the floor because she has knee problems.
She refuses to come live w. us. She is an hours drive for me each way and I am taking care of my husband that has pancreatic cancer.
I can only make it over to check on her grocery situation, get groceries if she needs them and do cleaning once a week.
I have setup the guest bedroom and also a 38' RV w. slideout , lake view for her to have her own space w. parking for her car as she still drives.
My question is if she calls 911 from her home too many times what happens then?
Also if she ends up in the hospital with a broken hip, and wants to go home with no one at her home there - what will they do?
As I said she refuses to come live with me even though I have done everything I can to be accommodating. She is very stubborn and wants her own space and refuses to move.

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My 94-year-old father used to fall a couple of times a week. I was unable to get him up no matter how hard I tried. I had to call 911 for assistance. The technicians were very nice and told me not to hesitate to call them if I needed help. They told me to call 911 for an assist lift and they would come, although not as quickly as an ambulance. Because my father fell so many times we got him a hospital bed with railings and that stopped the falls. He usually fell out of bed and over his walker. I was afraid that he would fall down the stairs because he was so unsteady. Since your mother lives in her own home she may need a caregiver to assist her or she may need to be placed in a nursing home where she is monitored. It is best if she does not live with you. You have good intentions to help her but I believe it would be a difficult undertaking. If I had it to do over again I would not bring my parents into my home. It has altered the dynamic in my household.
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Ah Yes Mally - I can see my mom doing the same thing. She plays the nice game when my sisters are around and acts like she is going to do as they suggest, they leave gloating at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. Such as changing her diet to lose weight and do some exercises and after they are gone...nothing changes - she can polish off a gallon of ice cream in a week. She won't even let me go to the dr with her even though she complains about him not doing anything. She also refuses to change drs. So we go around in circles and I just give up.
Chdottir: My mom only has 1 kidney which is not doing well and she also refuses dialysis in advance of needing it and keeps a DNR in her purse.
So yes kidney problems could have something to do with the falling but she also had failed knee operations ages ago so if she twists the wrong way - down she goes. It's a combination of weak knees and too much weight.
She swears she will die in her sleep from kidney failure but I don't think it will be that easy...
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Enjoyed the you tube video! It is hard to know things that would help and keep hearing "no" and have to just wait and see. I guess for us to just keep on living our lives one day at a time and many other times a few moments at a time... and pray. The serenity prayer comes to mind ...
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So we were at the doctor's office a couple days ago, and wonder of wonders, I suggested she go to the really good PT we have here, and she agreed! She asked the doctor to refer her, which he did on his computer on the spot. Today I asked if she'd heard from him yet, and she says she's not going to do PT "at this time" - aaargh!
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Have you considered trying to get her therapy? She might avoid the hospital and rehab if she got s little PT. Her doctor could order. You are so right about the lift chair. A terrible idea.
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I don't have advice but can commiserate.

My MIL got weaker and weaker and would fall (due to bad balance and weakness) and would call 911 (via her alert pendant) if no family member was available to help. They would come get her up, she would refuse to go to the hospital, and they would go on their way. It started at about once a month, then once a week, then daily. Finally my SIL convinced her to see a doctor (took a lot of convincing) who determined she was in end stage kidney and liver failure.

She refused dialysis, went on hospice and died in less than a month. My husband and I went and took care of her the last three weeks.

She was absolutely determined to stay in her own home, and since she didn't have any dementia we had to let her stay there, whether she fell or not. It was hard, but it was her choice.
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Yeah my 3 sisters all too far away say "get her a lift chair" - what they don't understand is that once she's on the floor she can't lift herself up to get into a lift chair - unless there is a trick to that someone can suggest.
She can't bend her legs to push herself up off the floor. She can't use a paraladder because she doesn't have the arm strength to lift herself even 2 inches off the floor.
I have been there when she has tried laying on the lazyboy seat and pulling herself back up into her lazyboy - that doesn't work - I have to get the neighbor guys to help lift her. I can imagine her doing the same thing trying to get back into a lift chair from the floor - she would slide right back onto the floor. At least now without a lift chair it forces her to lift herself up to get out of her lazyboy - she would end up getting weaker and using less muscle with a lift chair...but one of my sisters is bringing one down - so glad that one of them (who I have been begging for help from for awhile)
is finally coming down from SC.
I guess next time I need to send my siblings a video cause they just don't get it. It takes 2 strong guys to lift her back up into her lazyboy - this is 185 lbs of big lady. I told her last night next time she falls going to the bathroom to put her butt in the shower and then sleep on the floor until she gets the strength to pull herself back up otherwise the EMT's are gonna put her in a nursing facility. She's a retired nurse so I know she does not want to go to an SNF...she just says that but when the time comes she will be calling every one of us to get her out and back to her trailer. Kinda like getting a collect call from a relative that needs to get bailed - I will just have to make myself not answer it.
I don't know if you allow links but here's some short funny link to videos I made back in 2014 of mom learning to use her Rascal motorized wheelchair when she didn't have her car - cause she gave it to one of her grandkids that I am glad moved very far away to CA. She now has a car so doesn't use her Rascal anymore but we keep it around just in case.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClBnVofDXkVAWE-c53Xk5uA?view_as=subscriber
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Think twice about spending money on lifting devices. Many times older people who are set in their ways are not prone to using them in the first place. One woman I know said her spring lift recliner doesn't work. I watched her. The chair works just fine; she and her body are not capable of using it.

I wish you well taking care of your husband; mine passed away many, many years ago and I never thought twice about keeping him at home and taking care of him. My mom (sounds independent and stubborn like yours) is an entirely different story. Things are just not working well with her living with me.
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Shane: stairs w.railings are easier for people to use that want to lift themselves up - she uses the stairs to lift herself up.
If you find yourself on the floor and can't get up.
You scoot yourself into the doorway with your legs on a lower step - grab the railings on each side or the doorknob and a railing and lift yourself up
into a standing position. The cheapest lifting device there is.
She is almost twice my weight so I can't lift her so one of the neighbors told us that is how she got her father to lift himself up from a fall- it actually works.
I also looked into self lifting devices-such as Mangar elk inflatable lift $1600
or Camel Elk Indeelift $1745 - will have to sell the RV to get one.
Barb: Luckily I work from home online but yes taking care of my husband is my other full time job.
Countrymouse: Thanks - I will let go and let mom do as she pleases
and try to quit worrying. She says if she breaks a hip insurance will cover her for 100 days in a SNF and then medicare another 100 days.
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Yes, it is hard. Specifically it is hard on the nose - that is, you have to harden your nose. You have to fold your arms and stand there stony-faced while social workers and nursing staff and fond doctors and friends and neighbours and uninvolved family members look on the scene all misty-eyed and paint pretty pictures of filial devotion and "paying back in love..." and make you feel a heel.

But you have one robust, reliable crutch. YOU are backing up your mother. You are respecting her autonomy, her right to make decisions about her life as she wishes to live it. And even, God forbid, should she become mentally frail and unable to be in control of decisions any longer, the correct ethical line is to continue to follow her directions on her behalf.

Your mother wants to be independent for as long as possible. Should the time come when it is no longer physically possible, it seems clear to me that she has opted in advance for professional, emotionally detached relationships in structured institutions rather than dependency on her daughter. There is something to be said for that formality if you are a private person by nature.

And that would mean that for you, respecting her preferences is a more loving thing to do than welcoming her into your home. I think your mother sounds quite some lady.
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