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So today I told my mom that she forgot her medicine the last 3-4 nights and she said that my sister filled up those days and that it makes it confusing when we fill it up (I guess more than once a week). I fill up her weekly AM/PM medicine so she doesn't have to get into the bottles. I called my sister and of course she hasn't touched the medicine. I am the only one who messes with her medicine. My sister said she was at our mom's house to give her insulin last night and said, Mom you need to take your PM pills...want me to bring them to you? She said, No I'm planning to take them in a minute. I had to get my mom a big clock, which has been great, that sets on the counter with her medicine. The clock is made for seniors and gives the time, day of the week, and date. She was having trouble remembering to take her medicine and she would say, How am I supposed to know what day it is! So the clock helps. My mom is 80, has vascular dementia, COPD, diabetes, and high blood pressure. Also kidney disease but that's probably the least of our worries. One of her night time pills is to help with depression and appetite. She has been underweight. She lives alone. Any advice on getting her to take her meds? I go over every day but I like to be home at night with my family and she doesn't live right next door. Now that I'm typing that it feels awfully selfish of me. Should my sister and I just take turns being at her house at night to administer the PM meds? Oh she also has blisters on the tops of her feet! Big blisters. Dr's won't tell us anything. Thank you all! I love this website and have gotten so much peace from reading about others peoples experiences as care givers for loved ones.

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I’mnotcrazy, you say you don’t want to put mom in a facility because you’re afraid her dementia will get worse. It will get worse if she’s in a facility or not, and at least she would be safer in one and getting her meds. No one delights in putting a loved one in a facility, but it’s very difficult being responsible for all Mom’s meds and her personal care and handling your own family as well.
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She has dementia, that means her brain is broken and she can not be relied on to look after herself any more. Not remembering to take medication, to eat properly, no doubt not remembering a lot of things you haven't noticed yet are all symptoms of her brain dysfunction and it isn't going to get any better no matter how many gadgets you buy. IMO she needs supervision, probably 24/7 or at least for the majority of her day.


(edit) And she isn't lying, she probably believes she took her pills and confronting her with the truth just confuses her, makes her defensive and paints you as the nag who is causing her grief.
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Thank you all for your replies! You have no idea how much it helps me. When I tell family members stuff she has said or done they play if off and say everybody forgets stuff like that!
I just took her credit card away (last Friday) and have been to the bank and told them, if she tries to withdrawal more than $200 DO NOT GIVE IT TO HER! Last week she tried to withdrawal thousands- someone was scamming her. Thank God the teller knows her and told her it was not a good idea. Great thing about living is a small town I guess.
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Is it possible that it's time for mom to be in a care facility? The items you listed are a challenge for a younger healthier person to deal with, let alone someone with vascular dementia. The rollercoaster will only get more hectic with poor diet, missed meds and who knows what else.

If she can't afford it, apply for Medicaid. Nobody wants to live in or place a loved one in a facility, but they are better then being alone in a house and slowly deteriorating for lack of stability. This is nothing against what you and your sister are doing, I mean no criticism. I too have elderly parents who by golly are going to do it their way, come what may. I personally can not have either of them live at my home, they are just to stubborn.

I hope you find a solution that relieves the stress, I know this causes. HUGS
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I wonder if, and this is just my opinion, Mom should not be living alone even if you and your sister go over every day. She has a lot of health issues and I know in my husband’s case, the doctors have told him his medications are what’s keeping him alive. To forget them for 3 or 4 nights can’t be good for her. And, living alone with dementia could be unsafe for her as this only gets worse with time.

Would Assisted Living be an option for her? The staff could make certain she takes her meds every day and every night. Short of that, yes, you probably should go there and make sure she takes her meds and don’t let her tell you “in a minute”.
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Addendum, blisters on top of the feet are also common to diabetics which can add increased issues with infection, which is the reason why Dr's spend extra attention to the Diabetics feet. Keeping a close eye on these blisters is extremely important, so getting to the bottom of this issue is a good idea. She should have her blisters checked out by her Dr. Never pop a blisters, as they are sterile fluid inside, until popped, where the bacteria can then enter and cause huge issues, especially for the Diabetic!
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that's not a good sign that she doesn't know what day it is. she may be doing "ok" at the moment, but things could go down hill before you know it. sorry, but the dementia really plays a big part in her safety.
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Blisters on top of the feet, especially the toes can be from friction, if the covers on her bed are to tight, or if she moves her feet back and forth in bed. Another problem could be that the "toe box" of her shoes is too tight or too loose, causing her to bend or "grip" her toes, which I could see her doing, while out raking the grass on 5 acres. I would definitely check out her footwear, to see if it is something she is wearing, that is causing this friction.
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The fact that mom deteriorated in the hospital does NOT mean that she will deteriorate in a good AL or NH. 

There will be a period of adjustment, certainly, but the combination of being ill and being in an overstimulating, unfamiliar environment like a hospital often causes confusion and even psychosis in some elders. Not the same thing as placement in an LTC facility.
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Is your mother considered legally competent still? You took her credit card away, and told the bank not to let her withdraw more than $200. Do you have the authority to do these things? Who is her POA? Do you have HIPAA access to her doctors and records? If you do, then I don't understand why the doctors won't tell you anything about the blisters on top of her feet.

Who takes her to doctor appointments?
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