Write down your concerns and give them to her doctor. The doctor can call her in for an appointment and do an assessment. The doctor then will write to DVM.
I do not know that DVM can do anything based on you telling them she should not be driving.
You can also contact your local Agency on Aging and ask what is the best procedure in your community to get her off the roads.
I recently reported my mother to the Virginia DMV. They promised that my mother wouldn't know I'd turned her in and they did handle it well--she thinks her age triggered the investigation and doesn't suspect me at all.
But some states do tell--your DMV has instructions on its website. Many doctors don't want to get into this because they don't want to alienate their patients.
I sent in the form with a long letter describing my mother's driving. She was oblivious when she almost ran us into a concrete barrier on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and I was worried she'd eventually hurt someone. The DMV called to make sure I was for real and asked what the rest of my family thinks of my mother's driving and about medicine, alcohol use, etc. They wanted to be sure before they jumped in and asked if I'd tried taking away car keys, etc. I insisted that they investigate--my mother would be infuriated if I tried to interfere with her driving.
The DMV sent her a letter requiring medical and eye appointments--there were eight pages of medical forms for the doctor to fill out. As soon as they got her eye exam results they revoked her license because her peripheral vision is almost gone due to glaucoma. (No wonder she couldn't see the concrete barrier.) My mother is going to a specialist to see if there are special glasses that can improve her peripheral vision enough to get her license back.
Meanwhile she's tooling about town without a license! I'm talking to her about stopping that. Otherwise I'll be taking her cupcakes in jail.
Uber is your friend. My mother has zero night vision and I cannot be her chauffeur.
You can pre-pay for specific trips or get a gift card. The app is easy, even for someone who is not all there.
Plus, each trip is logged so there is accountability if she says a driver was mean to her.
You can't live without a car in the U.S. except for some city centers so offering an Uber gift card (if you redirect car insurance to Uber you get a lot of trips) may be a good way to go.
I would do it today if you think it is a risk. How bad would you feel if she killed a young mother and her toddler? A lot worse than stopping her today. Take the keys today and sooth your ego later.
I've taken the keys from both my father and my aunt. In both cases, I enlisted the doctor's help, and also had them take a driver evaluation test offered by the local Easter Seals, telling them that if they passed, they'd get their keys back. Neither did. The program requires a doctor's referral, and used to be covered by Medicare (it no longer is), but it's thorough, and tests many facets of driving, from reaction times to peripheral vision, to cognitive processing, as well as recognizing street signs and the like. Usually there are multiple reasons why they don't clear a person to drive. Both still grumbled, but it helped to have the evaluation in black and white from an unbiased person.
My Mother had the same problem and my SisterInLaw has one of her friends do it for me. It really bothered her for a while, but then she liked the fact that I had to take her to the store, balance check book, take her credit cared away and basically run her household duties. I put her in a low income apartment which made it so much easier on her and me. She lived there 11 years and eventually went to a nursing home and willed herself to die. I blamed myself at first, but she was put on hospice, she was 85, kidney failure, Macular Degeneration and Spinal Stenosis. She was falling so she wasn’t getting better. She had planned her whole funeral and had life insurance to cover it. I had to do it as well then drive from Florida to Missouri to bury her next to Daddy. On the way home, my husband fell and broke his arm. I had a rough 12 years, but the Lord brought us through it all. Now my husband is going through an infection after knee replacement surgery and is rehab after his replacement had to be removed, a quad tear repaired and now until it’s repaired he has an antibiotic spacer where the knee was and it has to be completely healed before he has the new new can be put in. It’s been going on since September. So, keep the faith, and pray that the Lord will get you and your Mother will get y’all through it all. God be with you.🙏🏻👆🏻✝️
Your mother's doctor should be able to help, as other folks on here have said. I asked my mom's dr to write the DMV, which was done, and then the DMV sent a letter to my mom, saying my mother's license had been revoked, pending further testing.
The testing would have involved a written, vision and driving test, and since my mom had dementia, she would not have passed the test. Finally, she assented and the subject was dropped. But I still had to put a lock on her car's steering wheel to prevent her from driving. Yes, she was furious with me. She asked friends, who gently backed up the 'no driving' idea. Now, years later, she tells people that she loved to drive, but she doesn't want to anymore.
Good luck with this battle. It's a large step in giving up independence and very hard for almost everyone to do.
We took my mother's keys; actually it was illegal to do that in my state but I figured that if I got arrested because she called the police, the judge would thank me. We then got her doctor to tell her she could not drive. I told her if she promised to only kill herself, I would give her the keys but I was afraid she would kill a woman and her children. Go on your DMV site; the rules are there for your state; usually MD has to stipulate no driving. For my FIL, he passed but then we also hired a private driving evaluator who took him on the highway and he still passed. So I at least know he is safe for now. he has cognitive dysfunction; probably early vascular dementia and I am hoping he fails next test due in March; he will be 94.
Doctors have a legal and ethical obligation to report patients who may be unsafe drivers for a long list of reasons. Both medical doctors and optometrists can do this for you. This report is anonymous, and family members can also do it with a letter to the medical advisory board for their state's DMV. You need to clearly state the reasons why you think she is not safe. Does she have dementia? Vision problems? Falls asleep a the wheel? Unstable blood glucose? Poor physical coordination that affects her ability to control the vehicle? Has she had multiple fender-benders? The DMV has to investigate within a set period of time. Special testing may be required for your mother to demonstrate her ability to continue driving. Be aware that if your mother gets her PCP to write a letter saying she can drive, that will be accepted as medical evidence contrary to your opinion. You always have the option of filing a complaint against her PCP if proper cognitive and reflex testing was not performed.
By your name, it leads me to think you are in the medical field. So may I ask this question based on your response? I live in North Carolina. Are you saying that even in North Carolina, that doctors have a legal obligation to report? I ask because my mom suffers from both Alzheimers and vascular dementia along with some problems with night vision and truly suffers with her vision in general. She also must use a cane due to being unable to sometimes get up and down and also because she is unsteady on her feet and suffers dizziness due to the damage to her brain. She has suffered a tremendous amount of mini strokes over the last 30 years that she never even knew was happening until 3 months ago. She has recently had a small acute stroke and her diabetes causes some major drops from time to time in her sugar levels to a point of sometimes being in the 50s. My mom cannot make clear and rational decisions almost every day. She has stated that "so what if I kill someone", which isn't my mom at all. Her doctor stated that she should not be driving. I said "So you plan to report to DMV, yes?" When I said it I was in his office in my sheriff's office uniform. He said that he doesn't do it because in case there are accidents. What????!!!!! So he won't report her. I took all car keys and told her she wasn't to drive and told my father if he let her drive with his keys I would have him evaluated for his lack of sound judgments. As a law enforcement officer and family member I reported to dmv and it has been several months and we havent heard anything for her to be medically evaluated. They are beyond their legal time limit so I am going to re report and then give it the legal amount again and this time I will be contacting them and reporting them if necessary.
What I ask you is that you state that doctors have a legal responsibility to report. Is there somewhere I can report him?
I do not know that DVM can do anything based on you telling them she should not be driving.
You can also contact your local Agency on Aging and ask what is the best procedure in your community to get her off the roads.
But some states do tell--your DMV has instructions on its website. Many doctors don't want to get into this because they don't want to alienate their patients.
I sent in the form with a long letter describing my mother's driving. She was oblivious when she almost ran us into a concrete barrier on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and I was worried she'd eventually hurt someone. The DMV called to make sure I was for real and asked what the rest of my family thinks of my mother's driving and about medicine, alcohol use, etc. They wanted to be sure before they jumped in and asked if I'd tried taking away car keys, etc. I insisted that they investigate--my mother would be infuriated if I tried to interfere with her driving.
The DMV sent her a letter requiring medical and eye appointments--there were eight pages of medical forms for the doctor to fill out. As soon as they got her eye exam results they revoked her license because her peripheral vision is almost gone due to glaucoma. (No wonder she couldn't see the concrete barrier.) My mother is going to a specialist to see if there are special glasses that can improve her peripheral vision enough to get her license back.
Meanwhile she's tooling about town without a license! I'm talking to her about stopping that. Otherwise I'll be taking her cupcakes in jail.
You can pre-pay for specific trips or get a gift card. The app is easy, even for someone who is not all there.
Plus, each trip is logged so there is accountability if she says a driver was mean to her.
You can't live without a car in the U.S. except for some city centers so offering an Uber gift card (if you redirect car insurance to Uber you get a lot of trips) may be a good way to go.
The testing would have involved a written, vision and driving test, and since my mom had dementia, she would not have passed the test. Finally, she assented and the subject was dropped. But I still had to put a lock on her car's steering wheel to prevent her from driving. Yes, she was furious with me. She asked friends, who gently backed up the 'no driving' idea. Now, years later, she tells people that she loved to drive, but she doesn't want to anymore.
Good luck with this battle. It's a large step in giving up independence and very hard for almost everyone to do.
For my FIL, he passed but then we also hired a private driving evaluator who took him on the highway and he still passed. So I at least know he is safe for now. he has cognitive dysfunction; probably early vascular dementia and I am hoping he fails next test due in March; he will be 94.
What I ask you is that you state that doctors have a legal responsibility to report. Is there somewhere I can report him?
Grace + Peace,
Bob