Follow
Share
Find Care & Housing
So much depends on individual state's rules.  In California, a friend was having trouble getting her MIL off the road - people kept telling her she had to do something (she was doing everything she could think of, including DMV, police, etc. etc.) She got forms from the DMV site about reporting unsafe driver and whenever anyone talked about her mother, she immediately gave them the form and begged them to report her MIL. Took awhile but it worked.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to rovana
Report

I had my mom’s primary doctor contact the DMV and let them know my mom shouldn’t be driving. The DVM suspended her license pending a new test- but the new test was never scheduled. They have done this many times before. Having the dr as the heavy really worked in my mom’s case. Hopefully, your mom’s dr can help, too.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to VofReason
Report

The doctor is who did it here. They submitted the form to the DMV and dad received a notice of suspension in the mail. This also happened a few years ago when he had some medical issues but he was able to re-test and get it back. The police were no help at all, even after we knew dad was still driving when his license was revoked. They said they had to catch him on the road in order to tow his car away. He drove over 6 months without a valid license until the local sheriff (we have gotten to know each other since all of this started and he has my phone number on file) stopped at his house one day and physically took the hard copy of his license from him, which they should have done at the DMV, and then, and only then, did dad decide he no longer had a license. I had not realized all this time that in his mind, because the license was still in his wallet, he thought he could drive even though it was suspended in the computer.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Babs75
Report

To the Executioner, My Gsons PCP turned him in for epilepsy in thecstate of NJ. My gson had a seizure on Chritmas Day. (second grandmal) His PCP reported him in January, DMV contacted Gson in March to turn in his license by April. The DMV accepted the doctors statement.

I would think u could call the Physicians licensing board. I know a local police officer who needed his Moms license taken away here in NJ. He was told she needed to have an accident and her ALZ shown as the cause. Now this was years ago so I hope laws have changed. I think as soon as they start showing memory problems the license needs to be taken. My Uncle got lost in DE a state he worked in.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Ironic this topic is being mentioned. Just this past week, an older person was leaving a church, went across a lawn at a home across the street from the church and hit an 8 year old girl in her backyard. The person missed other family members that were in the backyard. Sadly, the girl died from her injuries.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to shad250
Report

have her doctor do it.   (I he/she thinks mom is incapable to drive they can notify the DMV to revoke her license.  My differ by state.)

Grace + Peace,

Bob
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to OldBob1936
Report
theexecutioner Sep 26, 2018
They CAN, but most won't do it even if they know them to be unsafe.
(0)
Report
Doctors have a legal and ethical obligation to report patients who may be unsafe drivers for a long list of reasons. Both medical doctors and optometrists can do this for you. This report is anonymous, and family members can also do it with a letter to the medical advisory board for their state's DMV. You need to clearly state the reasons why you think she is not safe. Does she have dementia? Vision problems? Falls asleep a the wheel? Unstable blood glucose? Poor physical coordination that affects her ability to control the vehicle? Has she had multiple fender-benders? The DMV has to investigate within a set period of time. Special testing may be required for your mother to demonstrate her ability to continue driving. Be aware that if your mother gets her PCP to write a letter saying she can drive, that will be accepted as medical evidence contrary to your opinion. You always have the option of filing a complaint against her PCP if proper cognitive and reflex testing was not performed.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to DrBenshir
Report
theexecutioner Sep 26, 2018
By your name, it leads me to think you are in the medical field. So may I ask this question based on your response? I live in North Carolina. Are you saying that even in North Carolina, that doctors have a legal obligation to report? I ask because my mom suffers from both Alzheimers and vascular dementia along with some problems with night vision and truly suffers with her vision in general. She also must use a cane due to being unable to sometimes get up and down and also because she is unsteady on her feet and suffers dizziness due to the damage to her brain. She has suffered a tremendous amount of mini strokes over the last 30 years that she never even knew was happening until 3 months ago. She has recently had a small acute stroke and her diabetes causes some major drops from time to time in her sugar levels to a point of sometimes being in the 50s. My mom cannot make clear and rational decisions almost every day. She has stated that "so what if I kill someone", which isn't my mom at all. Her doctor stated that she should not be driving. I said "So you plan to report to DMV, yes?" When I said it I was in his office in my sheriff's office uniform. He said that he doesn't do it because in case there are accidents. What????!!!!! So he won't report her. I took all car keys and told her she wasn't to drive and told my father if he let her drive with his keys I would have him evaluated for his lack of sound judgments. As a law enforcement officer and family member I reported to dmv and it has been several months and we havent heard anything for her to be medically evaluated. They are beyond their legal time limit so I am going to re report and then give it the legal amount again and this time I will be contacting them and reporting them if necessary.

What I ask you is that you state that doctors have a legal responsibility to report. Is there somewhere I can report him?
(0)
Report
My mother lost her wallet shortly before we we we were going to take her license away, which removed one uncomfortable discussion. Maybe you could take her wallet?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to SFdaughter
Report

My Mother had the same problem and my SisterInLaw has one of her friends do it for me. It really bothered her for a while, but then she liked the fact that I had to take her to the store, balance check book, take her credit cared away and basically run her household duties. I put her in a low income apartment which made it so much easier on her and me. She lived there 11 years and eventually went to a nursing home and willed herself to die. I blamed myself at first, but she was put on hospice, she was 85, kidney failure, Macular Degeneration and Spinal Stenosis. She was falling so she wasn’t getting better. She had planned her whole funeral and had life insurance to cover it. I had to do it as well then drive from Florida to Missouri to bury her next to Daddy. On the way home, my husband fell and broke his arm. I had a rough 12 years, but the Lord brought us through it all. Now my husband is going through an infection after knee replacement surgery and is rehab after his replacement had to be removed, a quad tear repaired and now until it’s repaired he has an antibiotic spacer where the knee was and it has to be completely healed before he has the new new can be put in. It’s been going on since September. So, keep the faith, and pray that the Lord will get you and your Mother will get y’all through it all. God be with you.🙏🏻👆🏻✝️
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to WillieJim
Report

You can call them anonymously.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Laurieo
Report

I've taken the keys from both my father and my aunt. In both cases, I enlisted the doctor's help, and also had them take a driver evaluation test offered by the local Easter Seals, telling them that if they passed, they'd get their keys back. Neither did. The program requires a doctor's referral, and used to be covered by Medicare (it no longer is), but it's thorough, and tests many facets of driving, from reaction times to peripheral vision, to cognitive processing, as well as recognizing street signs and the like. Usually there are multiple reasons why they don't clear a person to drive. Both still grumbled, but it helped to have the evaluation in black and white from an unbiased person.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Weary418
Report

I recently reported my mother to the Virginia DMV. They promised that my mother wouldn't know I'd turned her in and they did handle it well--she thinks her age triggered the investigation and doesn't suspect me at all.

But some states do tell--your DMV has instructions on its website. Many doctors don't want to get into this because they don't want to alienate their patients.

I sent in the form with a long letter describing my mother's driving. She was oblivious when she almost ran us into a concrete barrier on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and I was worried she'd eventually hurt someone. The DMV called to make sure I was for real and asked what the rest of my family thinks of my mother's driving and about medicine, alcohol use, etc. They wanted to be sure before they jumped in and asked if I'd tried taking away car keys, etc. I insisted that they investigate--my mother would be infuriated if I tried to interfere with her driving.

The DMV sent her a letter requiring medical and eye appointments--there were eight pages of medical forms for the doctor to fill out. As soon as they got her eye exam results they revoked her license because her peripheral vision is almost gone due to glaucoma. (No wonder she couldn't see the concrete barrier.) My mother is going to a specialist to see if there are special glasses that can improve her peripheral vision enough to get her license back.

Meanwhile she's tooling about town without a license! I'm talking to her about stopping that. Otherwise I'll be taking her cupcakes in jail.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to Davina
Report
BobbingWren Sep 12, 2018
Uber is your friend. My mother has zero night vision and I cannot be her chauffeur.

You can pre-pay for specific trips or get a gift card. The app is easy, even for someone who is not all there.

Plus, each trip is logged so there is accountability if she says a driver was mean to her.

You can't live without a car in the U.S. except for some city centers so offering an Uber gift card (if you redirect car insurance to Uber you get a lot of trips) may be a good way to go.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
We took my mother's keys; actually it was illegal to do that in my state but I figured that if I got arrested because she called the police, the judge would thank me. We then got her doctor to tell her she could not drive. I told her if she promised to only kill herself, I would give her the keys but I was afraid she would kill a woman and her children. Go on your DMV site; the rules are there for your state; usually MD has to stipulate no driving.
For my FIL, he passed but then we also hired a private driving evaluator who took him on the highway and he still passed. So I at least know he is safe for now. he has cognitive dysfunction; probably early vascular dementia and I am hoping he fails next test due in March; he will be 94.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to dogparkmomma
Report

I would do it today if you think it is a risk. How bad would you feel if she killed a young mother and her toddler? A lot worse than stopping her today. Take the keys today and sooth your ego later.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to careinhome
Report

Your mother's doctor should be able to help, as other folks on here have said. I asked my mom's dr to write the DMV, which was done, and then the DMV sent a letter to my mom, saying my mother's license had been revoked, pending further testing.

The testing would have involved a written, vision and driving test, and since my mom had dementia, she would not have passed the test. Finally, she assented and the subject was dropped. But I still had to put a lock on her car's steering wheel to prevent her from driving. Yes, she was furious with me. She asked friends, who gently backed up the 'no driving' idea. Now, years later, she tells people that she loved to drive, but she doesn't want to anymore.

Good luck with this battle. It's a large step in giving up independence and very hard for almost everyone to do.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to VofReason
Report

My grandmother renewed her drivers license at 95 and her registration just this year at 97 she doesn't even drive the car for the last couple of years now since it sits in a driveway it needs to go even updates the insurance
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Coneal7876
Report
DrBenshir Sep 12, 2018
Pop the hood and pull a wire or two from the distributor cap. Then you will never worry that a 97 year old who hasn't driven in a few years has decided to hit the highway...
(0)
Report
Some states will test her. My MiL said in Fla testing was mandatory after a certain age. Doctor can alert DMV but it took almost 3 months for DMV to get the paperwork to my grandson. He is epileptic.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Write down your concerns and give them to her doctor. The doctor can call her in for an appointment and do an assessment. The doctor then will write to DVM.

I do not know that DVM can do anything based on you telling them she should not be driving.

You can also contact your local Agency on Aging and ask what is the best procedure in your community to get her off the roads.
Helpful Answer (7)
Reply to Tothill
Report

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter