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Hello everyone can someone give me some advice: My mom is in this stage again where she is not sleeping, matter of fact she has not slept all night since Thursday night and now again she is reaching for things that are not there, calling people by name that she says she sees which they have already passed away (am kinda use to that). She does have a UTI, which she has those. Did anybody else have trouble with not wanting to sign a DNR? I am so troubled an scared about signing it help please.

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It's common to get fitful sleep with dementia/ALZ; it happens to my mother in cycles. She'll sleep well for a few days, then badly for the next few days. She says she doesn't 'sleep at all', but she DOES, it's just not a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep that she gets. You can try giving her some Melatonin, or, call her doctor to see what s/he recommends.

Your mention of a UTI does not make sense. Do you mean that she keeps getting them regularly? If so, you might want to try giving her pure, unsweetened cranberry juice daily to ward them off. We also have people here who say that D-Mannose has helped them avoid getting UTIs entirely.

https://www.healthline.com/health/d-mannose-for-uti

As far as a DNR goes, the way it was explained to me when I was worried about getting my dad to sign one was this: when an elderly person is given CPR to save their life, their bones are often broken in the process. This creates a very painful situation and can wind up prolonging their life, yes, but making it worse in the long run. When an elderly person gets to a certain point in their journey, it's time for it to end; to transition to the next phase of eternal life with no more pain and suffering. That's how I look at it, and why I believe a DNR is the right answer for most elders *myself included* in general.

Wishing you the best of luck!
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Dear pippy, you need to revisit your mom's PCP and discuss the sleep issues along with any changes you've seen since her last visit. Have you tried a low dose of melatonin to help her sleep? It's a natural sleep aide as opposed to the OTC sleep aides. The OTCs contain an antihistamine called dyphenhydramine which studies have shown to be detrimental to dementia patients.

The DNR is signed by. your mom unless you have her healthcare POA. Having dementia, I don't think your mom would understand the purpose of a DNR order. If you have the authority to sign it, I would. Has your mother ever expressed her last wishes to you. Not having a DNR form would tell the medical staff to perform any life extending procedure including invasive ones. Persons with terminal illness may not want aggressive interventions but prefer a natural peaceful death.  Discuss the purpose of the DNR form with her PCP. I hope he/she can alleviate your fears. The form also has to be signed by her doctor.
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