Mom has dementia and is very mean or crying all the time and it's driving me crazy. Any suggestions?

I also have a Mother with dementia, among other mental disorders, who can be so mean. After my Dad died she cried all the time. She was frightened and confused. Both my parents should have been in Assisted Living long before Dad died. She was mainly afraid that we would put her "in a home". We tried for quite a while to keep her in her own place but it just was not safe for her. Eventually she got over her anger and her grief. Dementia is a scary journey for our loved ones. I imagine that is part of the cause of the meaness and anger. Don't take it personally - step back - and as calmly as possible tell your loved one that you will be back to talk when she feels she can be nicer/calmer with you. It worked for us. Doesn't mean it will work for you, but it is certianly worth a try. Best of Luck.

But if you take her home, and nothing is familiar, and she is still crying and mean? Then what? I would want her calmed down before I took that chance. Cure the sickness first, move the patient second.

Her doctor should prescribe anxiety medications for her. Go with her on the next doctor appointment and see if he can help you.

Encouragement, distraction, empathy and support. Parents are frightened and don't always know what's happening then get confused. Food plays a huge part. When my mum starts to 'go off on one' - an episode (she has dementia and psychosis) I encourage (notice the word encourage and not force) her to eat something, even if she doesn't want it. Within half an hour her mood improves, she becomes, logical, rational and easier to console. It's hugely draining caring for someone no matter what their condition. Good luck, get support. x

If she is crying to get out, why dont you take her home with you?Omg thats horrible. when my mom did that,I took her home with me omg poor thing! If you do live that long, wouldnt you want that? Sorry but thats just awful. If you wont take her out of there, you can go there and hold her hand, be with her, eat with her, watch tv or sing to her, tell her short stories, etc at the least, -please dont just ignore her.

When a person with dementia finds, they're likely to feel anxious, stressed and scared. They may be aware of their increasing ungainliness and helplessness to remember things, and this can be very frustrating and upsetting for them. If you are looking for dementia caregivers who can help her in her need, could solve your problem.

Your doctor may have to review her medication. My wife was hostile and even violent with one medication (Namenda), but is much calmer now with Seroquel. The two drugs are quite different and they affect people differently. As for getting out, YES, you should. You can't do all this alone. If you had an assistant caregiver for even 1-2 days a week -- to allow you to get away from it, go to a movie or see some friends and be a normal human again -- you may be able to endure with her behavior better. It's very difficult to be around insane people constantly! Remember too, that however nasty she gets, you can't allow yourself to become upset over things she says, because she is out of her mind! Better to shrug off any unpleasant conversation and smile while you change the subject. "Hey! A squirrel outside by the tree!"

Am thankful for Seroquel; given to my wife at the dosage of 50 mgs in morning, 25 mg at noon, and 25 mg at bedtime for Alzheimer's... This drug has helped immensely. It isn't a panacea, and behavioral problems still remain, albeit diminished.

" my doctor said to get out for my own sanity" Do it.

Hi Reverseroles. Cheryl's Mom is in rehabilitation -- where she can get the constant physical care and on-going professional assessment she needs until she is well enough to be released. Think of her rehab situation like being in a hospital. From her previous post, it looks like Cheryl reassures her mother by letting her know she is NOT in a nursing home. And I'm sure she visits her mother and does things with her. Yes, it's upsetting to see our loved ones cry and get angry. But if they are somewhere where they are receiving medical supervision -- and they are safe and being treated with respect -- then that is where they need to STAY, until they get well.