Mom has dementia and is very mean or crying all the time and it's driving me crazy. Any suggestions? - AgingCare.com

Mom has dementia and is very mean or crying all the time and it's driving me crazy. Any suggestions?

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I live with her full time, and my doctor said to get out for my own sanity. I'm miserable help!

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First take care of yourself, what ever that entails. My experience with dementia is that they don't know where they are one minute from another, so where they are doesn't really matter as long as they are receiving proper care.Don't be too hard on yourself don't feel guilty for taking care of you, it is the proper thing to do. I was at a workshop for caregivers last Saturday, I learned that 30% of all Caregivers predecease the ones they are caring for, wonder why?
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Hi Reverseroles. Cheryl's Mom is in rehabilitation -- where she can get the constant physical care and on-going professional assessment she needs until she is well enough to be released. Think of her rehab situation like being in a hospital. From her previous post, it looks like Cheryl reassures her mother by letting her know she is NOT in a nursing home. And I'm sure she visits her mother and does things with her. Yes, it's upsetting to see our loved ones cry and get angry. But if they are somewhere where they are receiving medical supervision -- and they are safe and being treated with respect -- then that is where they need to STAY, until they get well.
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" my doctor said to get out for my own sanity" Do it.
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But if you take her home, and nothing is familiar, and she is still crying and mean? Then what? I would want her calmed down before I took that chance. Cure the sickness first, move the patient second.
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If she is crying to get out, why dont you take her home with you?Omg thats horrible. when my mom did that,I took her home with me omg poor thing! If you do live that long, wouldnt you want that? Sorry but thats just awful. If you wont take her out of there, you can go there and hold her hand, be with her, eat with her, watch tv or sing to her, tell her short stories, etc at the least, -please dont just ignore her.
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Gosh sounds like my mom. She's been crying so much being in a rehab center and don't remember why she is there. She thinks she is in a nursing home. She calls constantly asking me to get her out of there. If she starts with call after call I usually turn off my phone or just ignore her. It makes me feel bad that she is in distress, but I don't know how to help her. It's just so d*** sad. I hope I don't live a long as her. She's 92.
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Aweee your Mom is just as miserable as you, frightened, confused and scared. Lots of hand holding, kisses , music and meds! Good luck!!
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I feel for you! and isnt it GREAT medical advice "get out and leave a vunerable sick lady on her own"? I think you should report that Doc and change him asap. I had 2 nurses up here recently i was totally ignored and they just sat and listened to mums lies?
Your doc is right to a point to take care of yourself BUT he could suggest meds for your mum and longterm care? its too easy for these docs to just say "get out"?
I think you need to think about a NH i am ill from the stress of looking after mum and i will leave but have gotten 2 carers to come in twice a day morning and evening to give her meds?
I am drained from trying to get her help and shes never co-operative which drives me nuts.
Speak to a social worker and i would change her doctor i think alot fo docs dont like old people? i know my mums doc is useless he once said to me "your mum has diabetes is going to die what do you want me to do?". I know a "disgrace".
My siblings have no idea of how MEAN my mum can get and the way she speaks to me sometimes but how could they know shes all smiles and full of crap when they are here.
Take care of you as ive had a TIA and have had to step back i can tell you there are times when i hate my mum for the things she says to me, dementia is best left to professionals unless youre made of "steel"!
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Have you tried music that she used to like? Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Classical? Music can relax a person if it's music they love.
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I look after my mother. I love her AND she always has been mean AND the dementia makes it worse. So finally we did what should have been done many decades ago and put her on meds.
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