What do I do when my Mom is making sexual advances toward me?

Wndyridge - NO. Women have not learned how to "deal with it". It's just as traumatic to us as it is for you to have the same thing happen. Being women doesn't give us a magic filter to put up with inappropriate advances from inappropriate people whether it's dad or the construction worker on the street.

To me, it's a sign that other people need to step in as a caregiver one way or another. If this is happening, and you need to perform intimate care tasks like toileting or dressing, things are going to become very bad quickly.

Talk to the doctor and report your observations. If there is no geriatric psychiatrist involved, GET ONE.

Kendireal - I would never make my daughter ever have to be around another older man again as long as I lived. I assume you weren't able to remove her from that conversation with granddad once it got going. Your poor baby! I hope she is getting some professional help with that. Bless her heart. This disease is a real monster. Confronting him would have gotten you nowhere most likely as he sounds like he had already lost too much cognitive ability.

My 11 year old daughter had the same thing happen to her by my 90 year old grandfather. He told her "he could still make love to a pretty girl like her", always wanted to see her in her swimsuit, and when she sat on his lap her would rub her back (under her shirt) and blow on her neck. This behavior was blamed on medication. She is scarred and he recently passed away. She never got a apology and I was never able to confront him. It has really torn my family apart because he was on a pedestal for so long with my mother and she doesn't believe he did it. She now fears older men and has awful memories of him.

Yikes!! I'm a 60 year old guy caring for m and d. This would so freak me out. It's usually the gals that have to deal with unwanted and wierd sexual advances and I spose lots of women have learned how to deal with it. No easy answer, just remember she doesn't have any idea what she is doing. You can't get mad at her. But Lordy, mental images go away!!

Following, my grandfather has inappropriately touched my mother as well, and is constantly bringing up having a "bed partner", as repulsive as I find his comments & actions, I know we have to remember this is the disease taking over.

Holy Smokes Batman! I agree with Robin; however, disease or not, this could have some serious psychological long-lasting impact on you and memories you would rather not have of your mom. You will have to do some soul searching to see if this is something you can handle and maybe search alternative care for your mom if need be.

Frank, please realize this is the disease talking and not your mom. Try to redirect her at every chance. She is probably missing the closeness and not necessarily the sex. I'm sure this is uncomfortable for you. Let her know that this isn't something that's going to happen and then quickly change the subject. Keep redirecting her. This too shall pass.