My Mom lives on the West Coast and I am on the East Coast - My Dad died two years ago when my husband was deployed to Iraq. He then came home and retired after 40 years. Because my husband was gone for so long, our marriage can't take another separation with me being in California. My brother took care of my Dad and now just recently put Mom in a beautiful assisted living center, but she is fighting it tooth and nail. She has been diagnosed with dementia but is able to take care of herself, however it just became too much and my brother felt it would be better if she was around other people. The guilt I feel is unreal, and because she doesn't keep her cell phone on, I cannot connect with her. I send her a goody package a week and let her know how much I love her but I still feel horrible.