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Mom is 83 and in a senior assisted living facility she recently is cured from back to back UTI infections and now diagnosed with COVID-19, but with a few symptoms. The facility she lives in is telling us we have to find 24 hour care for our mom because they are not equipped to care for her. Where are we supposed to find this person? Mom is also, as of two days ago, on palliative care. Now she is in a wheelchair and weighs 89 pounds. All five of us kids are at a crossroads and don’t know what to do. Mom cannot be left unattended in her apartment in senior living. Does anyone have any experience with the situation? We live in Ohio.

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Dear "Tgraven,"

It doesn't sound like your mom is dealing with any dementia issues, so I probably won't be of much help but, I can tell you what my experience has been.

I moved my mom into assisted living in 2015 when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's - she was 90 at the time. She had level one care because she was still able to walk, dress herself and eat on her own so I got her a nice one bedroom apartment.

In 2020, I saw her on February 28th when I took her out to lunch, the lockdown was on March 13th in which my husband bought her an iPad so we could keep an "eye" on her since she didn't have a window that was accessible to us. On April 22nd, we got a call from an outside mobile doctor's nurse who said my mom was near death from severe dehydration and had COVID - the facility didn't tell me she was severely ill. Once in the ER and then admitted to an isolated COVID wing in the hospital, they ran further tests which showed she had bi-lateral pneumonia as well as a severe UTI. By now she was 95, amazingly survived and was transferred to a rehab facility for three weeks. She lost 20 pounds, wasn't eating and could no longer walk or dress herself. There was no way I could in good conscience send her back to the ALF even though they had a memory care unit. My husband and I found a new facility with the help of a placement agent - all this during the midst of COVID when little was known about it. We ended up moving her into their memory care wing because now she needed people who were trained in dementia-related diseases and she needed caregivers giving her round-the-clock care. She is also on hospice now so she is seen once a week by their nurse and given showers three times a week. My mom is also in a wheelchair now and got down to a weight of 114 from 145 in March. Right now with being given Ensure Protein Drinks she weights 122.

So maybe you can do what we did and talk to a Placement Agent. I don't know if they charge a fee or not. We didn't have to because we were given her name through the rehab's discharge manager. But, she knew how to navigate and communicate with all types of places which would have taken my husband and I a whole lot longer to do on our own and we were under pressure from the rehab facility who was ready to release her.

Best wishes to you and your family and I hope you will be able to find the right place for your mom!
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Request Hospice. They will guide you in getting 24/7 medical care or transfer to hospice. I am so sorry. I think that you recognize that it is unlikely that your Mom will survive covid in her current condition. It's important she receive medication to keep air hunger away. They may not require an RN, but a nurse or aid trained in hospice care, and their regular medication RN for medications. Speak to them about what the next step is. Their administration will help guide you. Good luck. This has to be so shocking and distressing from far away. I lost my bro in May, and could not get there/be there for hospitalization, hospice and death. People were wonderful once out of hospital and I hope that will be the case for you as well.
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My LO was infected by an asymptomatic carrier and was sick for 3 weeks. She is a frail 90 year old, and I shed many tears and called the funeral parlor to alert them that they’d likely be getting “the call”.

She survived. She remained virus positive for three months, and we didn’t see her for a total of five months.

If you feel she can benefit from remaining in her apartment for the time being, you may have to use an agency for the full time coverage, but at some point if she does recover from her present situation, she may need a higher level of residential care, and I’d start looking for that right now.

In my hotbed location, hospice coverage does not provide full time support, but if you have access to a residential hospice, you may find that that may be a good possibility to consider.

I was through every emotion from A to Z when this happened to us, and I wish I were close enough, and it was safe enough, to give you a huge hug and tell you about some of the other things that happened on our path through it.

Hope you are supporting each other and taking good care of yourselves, too.
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careinhome Oct 2020
Covid is not a death sentence even to those at risk with a comorbidities. It is a serious health concern and new treatments are coming to light regularly. Try not to buy into the covid19 boogie man.
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I, too, wish I could give you a hug. This is most frustrating for family caregivers who cannot directly assist their lived ones.

I also live in Ohio with a mother in Memory Care Assisted Living, however, this facility has a plan for COVID19 positive residents. I'd contact the Ohio Ombudsmen for help. There are assisted living facilities for those who test positive with or without symptoms. https://ohio.gov/wps/portal/gov/site/residents/resources/office-of-the-state-long-term-care-ombudsman

Also, your local or regional Ohio Department on Aging.

God bless, we are here to support you!
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If she has trouble breathing you could try to get her treated with Budesonide. It is a steroid, that can be inhaled directly to the lungs using a nebulizer and has been having great success. It's worth looking into.
https://budesonideworks.com
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pamzimmrrt Oct 2020
Mac I am not sure what I am missing here, but Budesonide is a common asthma drug, We give it alot in my hospital, and its just as normal to give as Albuteral, etc. No NPR, no N95. I have several friends whose children take it for their asthma. Many of our hospitals here are giving steroids to the Covid pts as part of the protocol.
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My wife was infected with covid 19 in the Bristol assisted living and died under their so called care. No words can describe what I think of them in keeping her safe. Get her out of their and put her in your own home with nursing care otherwise you taking a big chance with assisted living facility at this time.
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My Mom is 81 and had COVID 19 with few symptoms. She was tested positive twice in March. She was later transported to a senior community that had quarantine facility and 24 hour medical staff. A couple months later, she was tested negative twice, and was allowed to return. We later found out that there was an outbreak and everyone was evacuated by the County Social Services. I was offered the option of taking Mom home but we were in the process of selling the house so that was not an option.
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NobodyGetsIt Oct 2020
Dear "pvo2020,"

What a terrible ordeal you went through with your mom too. How is she doing now?

Do you know what you will be doing since your in the midst of selling the house?

You'll be in my thought and prayers - that you will find a good place/option for your mom!
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You do  not need to "find another person." You need to find another ALF!  To confirm this, you can find out that, if you do get another person- do they still charge you full price for full ALF care, as your paying "another person."  Check out your states requirements for care; check out her insurance.  They should not be referring you to get healthcare, while your in a healthcare facility.
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DrBailey Oct 2020
And there is a big difference between ALF- assistive living facility and
SNF-skilled nursing facility.  Based on your disclosure of your mother, it sounds like she is in need of a higher level of care, thus consider moving her from "assistive" to "skilled nursing"-- meaning instead of sr living, she needs a nursing home and Medicare does cover.
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Tgraven, it sounds like your mom needs more care than she can receive where she lives.

It is time to move her to a facility that can meet her needs. These facilities that want high rent and fulltime caregivers are just worried about keeping their beds full. Find a place that she will receive the appropriate care for her needs.

I personally like board and care homes, but they don't have the activities that large facilities have, so they are not for everyone.

Best of luck finding the best care for your mom.
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Imho, your mother requires a higher level of care in a different facility. Prayers sent.
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