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She is currently on 3 days in a row of refusing to get out of bed or eat. I've tried reasoning with her on why she needs to eat (I know waste of time), tried bribing her (she says she'll eat later), the aides there are doing their best to get her up and moving but she tells them and me to "leave her alone." She complains about having a headache which is most likely because she won't get up and eat. Really at the end of my rope! Any suggestions or do you just let them lay there? Then to make matters worse she doesn't want the AC on in her room and is refusing to shower.

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When my mom did that, the head nurse told me she was doing what we used to call in the Seventies a “sit in”. She is protesting being in the facility the only way she can, by shutting down. What worked with my mom was the threat of a hole in her gut and a stomach tube. When she threatened she’d pull it out, I told her they’d tie her down. Which, they couldn’t do, but she didn’t know that. We left cookies and crackers and a can of soda by her bed, and LO and behold, after two days “someone” sneaked in her room and ate them! She didn’t like air conditioning because it was, quite frankly, too cold for her. So, that was understandable. The bathing? Well, she’ll have to stand herself. If there is a psychologist or social worker at the facility, you can have them come and talk with her, too.
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I would ask for a physic evaluation. They do get like children.

My Mom did this in her late stage. Closed her eyes and would not get out of bed. She stopoed eating. We called Hospice in. Maybe the threat of Hospice will make her come around.

The other thing is willing herself to die. This is real, my MIL did it. Didn't like that she was losing her independence.
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