I need help with my mom, she just became bedridden. Any advice?

As for the bed sores, Hospice can order a hospitol bed with an air matteress designed to prevent them. And, let the Hospice CNN bath her and then cream her skin all over. Not only is this good for her skin, she'll feel like she's at the spa. The CNN is also trained to look for red spots that could turn into bed sores. And she will change the sheets.We both look forward to when she comes, it's like a gift for Mom. Another thing, she washes Mom's hair right there in bed, she is wonderful.

I'm sorry about your mother's quick decline lately. It's weird how a person can be holding their own for quite awhile, then suddenly start to fade. I saw it with my own mom while she was fighting cancer and lost. Do you think that your mom may feel embarrassed to have a stranger handling her while she's getting bathed? Or does she just feel more comfortable with the familiarity of you touching her? I was thinking that if you had someone help YOU turn her and bathe her, you'd get the physical help you need and your mom would still have your hands on her. Maybe after awhile mom would feel comfortable enough to let the other person totally be the one that is touching and bathing her. I don't know, just a thought.

Agree with Nancy. The sad reality is that someone is going to have to be there to help you, because this is a two-person job; but as long as you're there to reassure and comfort her, making as little of it as you can, your mother will quickly get used to receiving care from an outsider without embarrassment.

There are lifts that can go bedside without having to be mounted to the ceiling, contemplating should that situation ever happen (I have had a stroke)and found a stationary lift, at the medical store. Hope this helps.

Oh I'm sorry you and Mom are going through this. I haven't gotten to that stage yet but I just wanted you to know I care.

I have not had much experience with this - only had to help my MIL bath for a few weeks. But I was thinking - using towels - like they do when you have a massage - uncovering her only as needed to bath the area and then covering again with a towel and moving on to the next area. That may be more hassle but if it would preserve her dignity - it might be worth a try.

Sadly, sometimes we just have to do what we have to do - These are difficult days for you. Sorry to hear your mom in declining. Bless you.

You don't say if she has dementia, so if she does not, you are going to have to tell her you can no longer turn her and it is becoming more difficult. Let the hospice caregiver do the heavy lifting (no pun intended), leave the room and pretty soon she will allow another to care for her. Even if she still complains, you will have to step up for yourself and tell her the realities. Stay strong!

First of all, my heart goes out to you and your Mom. It sounds like you're a wonderful daughter to take care of her for at least 8 years and for sure right after the stroke. God bless you for doing this. Yes, I can understand how she is only accepting of your help. I truly realize it's impossible for you to care for her alone anymore. For her to adjust to the change(s), have the help work with you. She will still have your presence there which will probably be more then comforting for her. Also, she may be more prone to accept help from others if you're right there in the room with her. I don't know for sure but this is my thinking. Maybe in time, she will accept the outside help. Of course, I say maybe to this. But, it's sure worth a shot to gradually break her in on more outside help. Try not to back down on this, you need the help and I'm guessing your Mom can't be of much help to you anymore. Take care and may everything work out well for you and your Mom. Sincerely, Rubyinred

thanks everyone for the good advice! I was able to get care giver hours increased which has helped a lot, especially since I am all so trying to work too and of course I work in retail!

Fran - so glad you were able to get add'l hours for your mom. None of this is easy, my mom went onto hospice in June when she shattered her hip and is 100% bedfast. My mom is in a NH & on hospice since June.

Depending on your mom's weight is going to make a big difference in what can be done. My mom is tiny, petite and has a standard "living" mattress that breathes & moves and she has zero bed sores. Her being tiny helps immensely in that department. There are different levels of "living" mattresses so be sure to ask your hospice group if the one she is on is the best for her size. They are expensive and not all hospice groups have contracts for the more intense ones for the heavier patient but they can order them for you all. So ask about that. Also my mom has a "geri-chair", it is a slanted chair that she can be placed into that accommodates the fact that she had a broken hip and cannot sit in a "L" position. These are nice as they have wheels and you can get mom to take a stroll or get outside and off the bed. This too is provided by my mom's hospice group. I had no idea of just how much support a good hospice group can provide.

Best of luck to you all and bless you for being in retail during the Holiday season!