My 83 year old mother has been living with me and my wife for 7 months, and we have been working through issues. She is in Stage 5/6 area with an MMES btw 10-12. I have to work, and we have had a respite caregiver help my wife out a few days a week. We recently learned that when the respite caregiver was here, and my wife was out of the room or the house, that apparently my mother was going through my wife's purse for money (it hangs on a railing in the living room). My mother told the respite caregiver that she should be paid for helping to wash the dishes. I also learned that at some point when the respite caregiver took my mother upstairs, apparently my mother was going through drawers in my wife's bedroom looking for jewelry. We are planning to put a lock on the bedroom door (for the rare instances) when we have respite caregiver there to solve this problem. Does anyone have any other solutions? Yes, I am really wondering what this respite caregiver is thinking, letting my mother do all this - but apparently she doesn't want to upset her.
Take the caregiver aside in an "We're all on the same team" kind of way and direct her to not let your mom roam through your bedroom. Your mom's attention should be redirected and the caregiver should be doing this.
You could take the caregiver aside, but it's going to probably cause a drama if the purse is out or the jewelry is easily accessible, so put it away and lock it up.
Actually, with my own mom, out of sight is out of mind. If she can't see it, she doesn't try to get at it. I don't know if that would work with your mom, but if I hide things from my mom (like her new bottles of pills that she's not supposed to open until the old ones are gone, but where she confuses the two bottles), she seems fine.
I guess I'm feeling a bit lucky, today, reading this. My mom isn't taking our money, just stealing every last pen I put out. That's something I've really had to hide or there's not a pen anywhere! :-)
I felt as if I did not protect those clients over the years for their things were taken. Now I see it as just STUFF.( just stuff)
I also have a husband who suffers from Solvent Dementia & I am the main care giver, however, I can leave him with ONE task to do while I am out & I praise him for what he has accomplished during my absence. Seems to work, when I am not "the enemy"-it changes from day to day, moment to moment.
You don't walk alone in this....keep writing. This is a good site.