My Mom with Alzheimer's is going in my wife's purse and jewelry. Any advice?

Follow
Share

My 83 year old mother has been living with me and my wife for 7 months, and we have been working through issues. She is in Stage 5/6 area with an MMES btw 10-12. I have to work, and we have had a respite caregiver help my wife out a few days a week. We recently learned that when the respite caregiver was here, and my wife was out of the room or the house, that apparently my mother was going through my wife's purse for money (it hangs on a railing in the living room). My mother told the respite caregiver that she should be paid for helping to wash the dishes. I also learned that at some point when the respite caregiver took my mother upstairs, apparently my mother was going through drawers in my wife's bedroom looking for jewelry. We are planning to put a lock on the bedroom door (for the rare instances) when we have respite caregiver there to solve this problem. Does anyone have any other solutions? Yes, I am really wondering what this respite caregiver is thinking, letting my mother do all this - but apparently she doesn't want to upset her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
6

Answers

Show:
I can only speak from my experience in this frame work. I am an R.N. & ANY help I placed in a home to caregiver in any form, over many years, I came to find out that jewelry & valuables were missing. I was told different stories but I worked & continue to in others homes making assessments & placing help in the home. It is a constant worry of mine now & I initially have the main person in the home now put all valuables in a locked box or in the bank if it is jewelry.
I felt as if I did not protect those clients over the years for their things were taken. Now I see it as just STUFF.( just stuff)

I also have a husband who suffers from Solvent Dementia & I am the main care giver, however, I can leave him with ONE task to do while I am out & I praise him for what he has accomplished during my absence. Seems to work, when I am not "the enemy"-it changes from day to day, moment to moment.
You don't walk alone in this....keep writing. This is a good site.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Background check that caregiver ASAP and get a Nanny Cam. You always want to see their drivers license and SS card. Then you go to website: intelius and pay the fee for a complete check. Better safe than sorry.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My dad is very tidy, and he likes to wander around our house and "put things away". I find the strangest things rearrainged, but that's mostly OK. He normally does not go into our room ( we keep the door shut), but he goes into the junk room and roots through stuff for goodwill. He calls me up to show me the great stuff he found and tells me how we should sell it! He is fascinated by small things like the camera.. and my perfumes..
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom would think it's her purse and she's funny about the rooms. Sometimes she remembers what certain rooms are for, other times, she doesn't.

You could take the caregiver aside, but it's going to probably cause a drama if the purse is out or the jewelry is easily accessible, so put it away and lock it up.

Actually, with my own mom, out of sight is out of mind. If she can't see it, she doesn't try to get at it. I don't know if that would work with your mom, but if I hide things from my mom (like her new bottles of pills that she's not supposed to open until the old ones are gone, but where she confuses the two bottles), she seems fine.

I guess I'm feeling a bit lucky, today, reading this. My mom isn't taking our money, just stealing every last pen I put out. That's something I've really had to hide or there's not a pen anywhere! :-)
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If the purse is just hanging there it might be attracting your mom's attention. Maybe your mom thinks it's her purse. Regardless, put the purse away out of mom's reach and sightline.

Take the caregiver aside in an "We're all on the same team" kind of way and direct her to not let your mom roam through your bedroom. Your mom's attention should be redirected and the caregiver should be doing this.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Is it possible that the respite care giver is the one going through the purse and jewelry instead of your mom? At any rate, it seems as if a lock on the bedroom door is a good idea.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.