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to VA benefits under my father for housing. She is currently living with my niece and pays 1100 rent, and collects SS$1450, and dips into her meager savings of $20K every money. to pay bills, insurance, car payment. The rate she is going she will be out of money by next year.

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I believe that her re-marriage disqualifies her, but i could be wrong. Bumping this up so that you might get an answer.

Why is your mom paying so high a rent? It seems as though she would qualify for low income housing. Is she getting Medicaid?
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Not to start a family feud but for her to pay that amount of rent at her age is outrageous!! She should be living in senior housing.
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For so much rent does mom also have utilities paid, food paid, care provided? She need a level of care with dementia, a facility would be needed possibly. Independent living may not be an option. Monthly rate of $1,100 a month is a bargain for dementia care. Even in a medicaid facility where the care ratio would be much lower, she would only be able to keep about $50.00 a month for personal expenses, the remainder would go to the facility. If mom is receiving appropriate care from your niece, I would let this alone.
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Hope this helps found it on the VA website.

18. I am a widow/er; if I remarry, do I lose my benefits? If I later get divorced or my new spouse dies, do I get my VA benefits back?

Regarding Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), a remarried surviving spouse whose subsequent marriage is annulled or declared void can reestablish eligibility as a surviving spouse. However, effective September 30, 1998, the law was changed to allow a surviving spouse to reestablish DIC eligibility after termination of remarriage. Therefore, after September 30, 1998, eligibility for DIC is established in any case in which the remarriage of the surviving spouse is terminated by death, divorce, or annulment. Also, remarriage of a surviving spouse after the age of 57 does not preclude continued payment of DIC.
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According to va.gov:

18. I am a widow/er; if I remarry, do I lose my benefits? If I later get divorced or my new spouse dies, do I get my VA benefits back?

Regarding Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), a remarried surviving spouse whose subsequent marriage is annulled or declared void can reestablish eligibility as a surviving spouse. However, effective September 30, 1998, the law was changed to allow a surviving spouse to reestablish DIC eligibility after termination of remarriage. Therefore, after September 30, 1998, eligibility for DIC is established in any case in which the remarriage of the surviving spouse is terminated by death, divorce, or annulment. Also, remarriage of a surviving spouse after the age of 57 does not preclude continued payment of DIC.
Regarding Death (Survivor’s) Pension benefits, the law generally requires a surviving spouse’s entitlement to be terminated if the surviving spouse remarries, regardless of age, even if that remarriage is terminated by death or divorce. However, VA regulations establish limited exceptions that generally allow entitlement to Death Pension to be reestablished if the marriage was:
• Annulled or declared void.
• Terminated by death or divorce on or after January 1, 1971, and before November 1, 1990.

Accordingly, you can again receive pension benefits based upon your former spouse’s wartime service if the new marriage was annulled or declared void or you fall within the divorce and death exception window, January 1, 1971, through October 31, 1990.
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Don't let anyone tell you that "they don't think you qualify". Contact a VA Accredited Attorney or a VA Accredited Benefit service. The initial consultation should be FREE. They will tell you with certainty whether or not you qualify. If you don't qualify you can move on to another possible solution.
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You can see from the responses given that many people are able to tell you that they don't THINK you qualify. This is not reliable advice. This is just people who DON'T KNOW trying to help. Get good reliable advice from a good reliable source. The VA A&A benefit is very difficult to understand and even more difficult to advise someone on. I don't even recommend calling the VA office. The VA's local offices do not even understand the complexity of this benefit. The application is 12 pages long and has many requirements. If you make a mistake on one item the application will be returned. Once the application is completed properly then it can be marked as received as complete and after approval benefits will be paid retroactively to the date of submission. One of the main requirements is that you are already receiving and paying for care. Another requirement is that you don't have the income or assets to pay for the care. This sounds like a Catch 22 but is absolutely required. You will get the maximum benefit if can accomplish this. That is why I always recommend a benefits specialist.
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Bring your mother to your local Office of Veterans Affairs with all her financial information. Babalou brings up a good point about, "Why is your mom paying so high a rent?" Also, I agree with Babalou that, "I believe that her re-marriage disqualifies her, but I could be wrong. " Technically, a widow is a woman whose husband had died and not remarried.
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It certainly DOES depend upon where they live. But in high cost areas, with SS benefits that are so low, she should qualify for low income housing.
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Just some info..remarriage disqualifies a widow from receiving VA benefits from a previous spouse...I asked. A shame really!
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