Mom (89) and getting forgetful. She has been diagnosed with early dementia and she will not let me handle her meds. Advice?

The meds are non-negotiable. Too risky to leave in the hands of someone with dementia.

My own mother took very few pills but getting her to take them correctly was a huge challenge. We had a visiting nurse involved. We had pill boxes that dispensed a maximum number per day. It was still very hard.

I see that your mother lives with you. I suggest that you get some pretty pill cases. You pick up the xanax and put enough for ONE DAY in the case. She can take it herself and still be "in charge" of that, but the rest stay locked in your room.

As you know, insurance won't cover and drug stores won't sell re-orders that are too soon. I would ask the drug store staff to tell your mother directly that her prescription can't be refilled until May 6 (or whenever it is due). You are not the bad guy so avoid being the messenger!

With dementia, your mothers decisions and behaviors may become increasingly confused and troublesome. You have to pick your battles and let a lot of stuff go. Medication is definitely a battle worth fighting.

I would also report the excessive use to her doctor. I'd even report it to the "useless" current doctor, just to get it on record.

I agree with all that Jeanne said. What sort of doctor is prescribing her Xanax? Is there any chance you can get her in to see a geriatrically sensitive psychiatrist or neuroligist? There are better drugs than Xanax, which is highly addictive and can cause a sorts of other issues in dementia patients.

She wont see a neurologist. The area im in geriatric doctors are not to be found, that is one reason im trying to get back to the area i was living in. It took me forever to find a pcp for her when we moved here. I could go on and on about the situation but im sure everyone has been thru it or going thru it. Thanks for the response.

I don't know how your mother is, but sometimes when I think that Mom won't be agreeable to where we are going, I just don't tell her. I say we are getting out to run errands and then one of the errands just happens to be in the doctor's building. Mom can't walk very far even with her walker so I put her in her wheelchair for big buildings, or if I don't know exactly where and how far from the car the destination is. Once she's in the chair, I just take her on into the doctor's office and then I tell her that we're just going to see the doctor real quick while we're here. A white lie, but saves the arguing until we get into the waiting room at least. Most doctors now have the preliminary paperwork for new patients online or can email it to you so that you can have it ready to turn in.

By the way, she may go through withdrawal before she can get more pills, so be prepared for the roller coaster!

Well i guess shes going thru withdrawals, she is panicky, sick to stomach, cant sleep and states she feels like shes going to pass out. Shes asking me for some pills and all i take is my heart meds. Dont know where she got that idea. Dont know weather i need to take her to er due to her age or wait it out.

I'm sorry for what you are going through cece.

One of the biggest struggles I have with my MIL is her medications. Honestly, sometimes it felt like if she saw us LOOK at the bottles she'd get mad.

Needless to say, she's mad right now because before she came home from the rehab facility, we took all her medications to our house and DH takes over one days' worth at a time. I'm just grateful we had a good excuse to get ahold of the pills. It sure helps when you can "blame" the doctors, the facility or anything for changes that we wanted anyway.

Cece does your nearest hospital have a nurse helpline? You could try calling that for advice. You can also call the Dr as someone suggested and see what he has to say. Difficult situation but as sugested don't let her get he hands on the bottles and put them in a pill box each day. She is not going to like it but there is nothing else to do. if she has the insurance coverage a trip to the ER would not be out of the question.

Do you think your pharmacist is willing/able to sell you placebos that look like Xanax? I'm not even sure if this is possible, but could it hurt to ask? It might raise ethical questions for a patient who does not have dementia, but for a caregiver trying to ensure the safety and comfort of someone who is confused and unable to reason, well, this wouldn't be a bad idea.

I think a trip to the ER sounds like an excellent idea. THEY can tell her she needs someone else to manage her meds. Win/win!