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My mom is 88 years old and lives with me and my son and his wife and a grandson. I have a nice man I'm dating and have been for over 2 years. He has never said or done anything out of the way to my Mom but anytime he comes over to see me she is rude and makes remarks like "Why is he here" and if looks could kill kind of looks.I Tell her that is not nice and rude to say and tell her to behave herself and stop with the dirty looks. She has Vascular Dementia but early stages of it and for the most part acts fine other then not remembering certain things now and then. My friend has always said hello to her when comes in and has even brought her flowers when he brought me some ot not make her feel left out. Is this jealousy or what? I try to ignore it and he says it doesn't bother him but it bothers me and embarrass's me when she says things like that. He is the only one she is like that with! I don't get it.

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At her age I imagine that she sees him as an outsider. He was not part of the family when she was younger. Chances are that she will never see him as an insider. If you care about your man friend, then it would be best to just let it go by, no matter how much it bothers you. I know how embarrassing it must be for you. Older people sometimes lose all traces of manners. Maybe you can ask her if she was raised by wolves. :)
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It is possible that he reminds her of someone in the past that she did not like.
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Was your mother close to your sons father when you were still together- or even after, for that matter?
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With dementia, there are many reasons that could be causing her to not like him. Sometimes, it's just a glitch in their brain. Other times, it could be that she's jealous. Their maturity level may be going down and she's afraid that you will like him, more than you like her. Not so silly in her mind.

I'd try to remind your boyfriend that she has dementia and can't be held responsible for her behavior. As she progresses, it could change and she may forget that she ever disliked him.
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llzvara, maybe your Mom is afraid that this gentleman will whisk you away, thus she would be all by herself, even though your son and his family is there.
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Thanks for all the input on this. I appreciate it. It all sounds like possible reasons. My boyfriend knows about her illness and understands..his mom had this same thing when she was alive...was just curious to hear others input on this subject. Thanks everyone.
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