What to do when my Mom has dementia and doesn't know who she is? - AgingCare.com

What to do when my Mom has dementia and doesn't know who she is?

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Not eating,in bed mostly,70 lbs

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Your welcome JeanG for as long as I can I will try to give an insight into my side of this disease. Lucy
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Place her in expert care you are not bad they have lost their minds and are no longer who you knew! I went thru that also took a lot of abuse.
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LucyCW, Thanks for sharing with us. We don't often get a glimpse of what is happening from the person it is happening to. It is usefu!
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You mentioned that Hospice is involved, and I wanted you to know that THREE TIMES during my mother's time with Alzheimer's, she stopped eating, drinking, and taking medicine. Each time, Hospice was called in, and she rebounded under their palliative care and began thriving again! The Alzheimer's never went away, of course, but by "thriving," I mean eating, drinking, and taking her medicines. I hope your mother will rebound the same way!
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My Mother has Dementia and I tell little white lies all of the time. Someone told her that her oldest son died. I spent days consoling her from crying. I think it is our duty to make sure our loved ones are comfortable and whatever they can remember let it be the best memories that they can have. I hate this disease and it can be overwhelming create as many good memories as you can with the time you have left
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JeanGibbs, Your approach is terrific. I have LBD and yesterday in my Dr's surgery I suddenly realised that while I knew he was a Dr. who on earth was I and why was I there? It only lasted a short time and he was brilliant, but yes, it was one of the most terrifying experiences I've ever gone through. Absolutely every bit of personal knowledge was gone. I knew the year, and all the social stuff but nothing related to me.
1 hr later a car reversed into my wheelchair and the driver told me that she hadn't seen me as I was invisible! Damaged my chair and fractured clavicle but I'm still here and today I know what that means :~)
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This response is for Julie. Please do not take this the wrong way, it is a sincere question: why try to prod their memory at the later stages? The memories seem to evaporate into dust the moment the moment has passed. Do we try for our comfort because we want to "do something" or is it really for them? Sorry, I know this sounds harsh but am wondering. I had a horrible day with my mother who is sliding in another stage and her memory is like vapor in the wind now. I spent all day visiting with her on Sunday only to have her call me 30 min later and tell me she was out all day walking around NYC. right lol So did it matter I was with her from noon til 6pm? She has no memory of it. I came away with a twitching eyelid.
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She will not look at herself in mirror now.
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Julie, I do that. Pics of me and her and dad. I brought up baby booties I wore when I was a baby. Pink felt and she remembered them. Have albums of my parents past and my mom was a beauty. She is very dainty and looks oriental, she isn't though. She likes to see herself young and so pretty.
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Jeanne your response is perfect. I am still trying, will get there, to be able to handle talking like this with my Mom. It is so upsetting to hear the things she says. I know it will get easier. Thank you so much.
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