She calls us accusing my father of having an affair with the whore across the street (her words). My father has prostate cancer, so he is up a lot using the bathroom. So she says he is getting up to go see the woman across the street. When we don't agree with her or try to reassure her. She gets hurtful and down right cruel, She says things like: I hope you die and I won't be sorry, I hate you kids. We have tried to get her to see a doctor she won't go. My sisters are nurses and have even tried talking to her doctor with a list of things. The doctor says things like we should do an MRI for your memory. Of course she goes ballistic. That doctor is a quack there is nothing wrong with my memory. My question is how are we supposed to respond when she calls and says I want you to die. If you calmly say please don't say that she yells even more and than hangs up. Do we not answer the phone? Do we just listen to the hurtful things and hope they bounce off later. I know that she has an illness and she doesn't mean what she says. I know that she is 89 and has dementia. But it still doesn't make it easier. This is our mother who we love. Please don't tell us to get her to a doctor. Unless she is forced and chemically restrained it isn't going to happen. My dad is too afraid and won't do anything.