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Mom never liked my husband and after 23 years of marriage she still hates him. She's 77 years old and has dementia, she was always complaining of living alone so I brought her from NJ to FL live with my family a year a ago and it has been a disaster from the get go. I love her and I try to take care of her the best I can, I do everything a care giver does for someone they love but she's not helping; always complaining about every little thing, budging into everyone's life but the worst part is the things she's making up about my husband; like when she sleeps a lot is because he's putting something in her coffee (even though she's by herself most of the day), if her eyes are irritated is not because she has allergies but because my husband "sprayed something in the air" to irritate her eyes; everything that happens to her is my husband's fault. She lies, and manipulative, when I confront her about her behavior she starts crying saying that no one loves her and she has no place to go. My daughters (22 & 16 years old) that used to lover so much now resent her, my 22 year old that still in college is thinking to move out of the house. I tried to find her a place near by where I can keep and eye on her and she said that she's not going anywhere, that I'll have to drag her out the house for her to leave. My husband has been great through all these problems but I don't know how long more he'll be able to put up with this situation.
She always been a difficult person to live with, god knows I'm not lying, but her behavior now makes me think she might not be mentally stable. I just made an appointment with her doctor to ask him a recommendation for a psychiatric evaluation. I'm at my wits end, any advise?

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If your mom has dementia then you're right, she's not mentally stable. Unfortunately, her dementia is only going to get worse.

There's nothing you can do about your mom thinking that your husband is poisoning her. You know he's not. And he sure is a good sport to put up with this from your mom.

Maybe a psychiatrist can prescribe some medication for her but there is no cure for dementia.

Since your mom is only going to get worse have you considered placing her in a nursing home? It sounds like the entire family is at the mercy of her dementia and that's no way to live.
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We must have the same mom! Mine feels the same concerning my husband. It started after she moved in with us ( me, husband, 2 kids). She accused him of coming in her room at night. At first he was just moving magazines around according to her then it turned to stealing jewelry and money. She decided she wasn't safe anymore in my home so we got her a small mobile home to live in beside our home. This worked until about 6 months ago when she told me he was coming in stealing. ( through a locked door). The last go round was that he came in and tried to suffocate her in her sleep. She called our sheriffs office and it took the officer about 30 seconds to turn around to me and ask if she had dementia. She's never been diagnosed because she puts on a big show for the doctor. My children who used to be so close to her despise her. I don't have any advice but just wanted you to know you are not alone! My mom is 85 and for the most part does everything on her own but drive. It's definitely a bad place to be.
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Get some Xanax and Zoloft. She will improve within a month.
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To echo pamstegman, your mom needs medication to calm her and help the paranoia (re your husband) end. You can talk to her doctor and ask him/her to prescribe meds for her.
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