I work in LTC, specifically in a memory care unit. Recently my grandparents have moved, my grandma with my parents and my grandpa with my aunt and uncle (all live very close to each other). The plan was, since my aunt is retired, for grandpa to go with her since he was declining faster.
Fast forward about a month, and everyone is miserable. Grandpa has declined even more (doesnt recognize aunt or wife, worries about his money [this is why they were moving in with family first, to try and save money]). My mom and grandma are at each others throats, my mom has her own medical issues and I know she is exhausted, beyond exhausted. My grandma is very clearly displaying behaviors to make my parents do things for her that she doesn't want to do, and my mom is just about to break.
But here is where I am really worried, they aren't doing visits with my grandparents as much as I thought. They are ALL getting very snippy with each other, and I worry that things could become much worse. I am fearing for all my family's mental and physical health now.
How do I offer advice when one, I am still the "young one" of the family (I am 30) and no one wants to take me seriously or listen to any advice, because two they still treat like I know nothing and am just a kid. Also, how do I save my relationship with my mom who I love more than anyone, but I really don't agree with her behavior right now. I apologize for the novel here, just a lot to unpack and haven't had anyone to talk to and I can feel myself starting to crack.
Thanks in advance, K