My sister and I are caregivers for our 91yr. old mom. My sister is becoming ill from the stress. My mom lives downstairs of my sister and husband. My sister can't go upstairs even if she's been downstairs all day , without Mom saying "Don't forget about me, it's so lonely down here". When I come over to visit several times a week, as I am leaving for home, she gives me the same "lonely" speech. She refuses to go to any senior center and be with those of her age. We know she doesn't want to burden us. How do we talk to her and help her to see what she is doing to us, especially my sister?
Your mom might thrive in a different environment where there were opportunities for company and activities right outside her door, or she might be like my grandmother and feel a need that can never be met again in this life. You and your sister can only do so much for her, you can't be her everything. Sis may just have to harden her heart a little bit and try not take these statements to heart, she deserves to have her own needs met as well.
Encourage your sis to take more time for herself, be there to listen, and leave the door open for a dialogue about changing mom's living arrangements.
Statistics show that many caregivers die before the person they are caring for does.
You do not say if your Mother is ill or what her conditions is.
If possible Adult Day Care would greatly help all of you.
If there is a Senior Service in your area or a Senior Center that has gatherings bring her there. Games, lunch, cards, outings will all help to get her a little less lonely.
Has she been seen by her doctor for possible Depression?
If she can not get out another caregiver that could come in 2 or 3 times a week would also help. The could do a bit of housework or just spend time. If all she needs is company if there are any Teens in your neighborhood that "baby sit" this might be something that they might want to do once in a while. If no direct care is necessary and it would be going for a walk, reading it might be fun for your Mom.
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