Mom (93) is very abusive and I had to baker act her. She filed a DVPO against me. What can I do?

Has always been a control freak, as long as you did what she demanded you were fine, otherwise you got her Rath of cruelty, and meanness. As she aged, it has become really bad, but she is really good in front of authority to act normal. Very very two faced.

I assume that you will have the testimony of the sheriff who saw no evidence of abuse. Have you called APS to report your brother's vulnerability? You will also need their records of past calls to them and their findings that she physically abused him.

Wheels turn very slow with VA. We have reported all of this, it is documented, brothers injury was service related, that's why we went thru VA. That's over 4 months ago.have the sheriffs reports that show there was no abuse, yet her lawyer took pictures after she got out of baker act and shows her arm was bruised. She could of self hurt, done that before, but made lawyer believe that I did that to her. DCF had to come twice to stop abuse, she lied and said she didn't do that. Brother is very limited on his speech and capacity, besides being afraid of her. Until someone in authority takes a stand she will keep getting away with her lies. She uses her age and legally blind and plays the victim. Everyone else is at fault, never her. We see the mental illness going on.

Cooter - there is really only one way to deal with people like your mother - write them off. Never trust them, work to avoid all contact with them and sever them completely from your life. I know you cannot do that right now but aim for that. The day when as far as you are concerned, your "mom" does not exist. Hopefully your lawyer will help to get you free from the current mess, but the thing is, you are looking for decent, honorable behavior from someone who does not and never will have a clue what that is. All too often authority is a broken reed - they may see her for what she is, but be unable to do anything about it. By alerting APS for your brother and getting and keeping yourself clear of any involvement with her, you may be doing all you can. The idea is not to stop her doing her nasty stuff, but to protect you and your brother from her. Sooner or later, probably sooner, she will get herself into trouble and hopefully sink in it.

Thats my plan, sad part, I have no choice but to leave my brother behind. She controls all his money so I dont have any funds to take him with me. I have to take care of me now.

Does APS release results of calls/investigations to those with Health Care Procy?

There is no proxy in place.

This is my first post on here. I feel for you cooter726. What an awful situation. I can feel a bit of what you're going through. Both of my parents are alcoholics. There's no rationalizing with them. My mother is also a control freak. As recommended earlier your brother should be in a protective environment; however, it's not something you can help with. I'm learning so much from reading these posts. It's like therapy to me. I'll continue to read yours and others, that's for sure. I hope I stayed on topic.

Sadly about pets in situations where someone has to get out, or is forced out, sometimes there is nothing we can do for them. many cases it comes down it's either 'us or the pets'.
My mom has calmed down a lot since I left home at age 24. I have found that I can get in her face and shout her down if she even attempts to start the same b.s. she was pulling when I walked out 35 years ago. She backs right off.
I was in a situation back then where I felt I was finally losing my grip on my sanity because of her. When I had left, somehow she managed to get to talk to me and this sick smug self satisfied proud statement 'I had all the cats put down, even elisa'. followed by this wheezing snicker of some sort. I did not even answer. I should have called her a b*** or something nastier, she just went on with whatever nasty drivel that was her wont at the time. It is amazing what 35 years will do. As I mentioned earlier, i can get in her face and back her off. Shuts her right up.
You are out, sadly you have to wash your hands, and if it helps you to maintain your health and sanity, so be it.

I'm at my wits end, all I do is sit and cry. My pets are gone, she has all the possesions I worked for and she sits back and laughs. I never in my life have ever encountered such evil. My faith is even in question. Im so numb, I don't even know where to turn. I followed everything by the law and she uses her money to screw me into the ground. I've spent my life helping animals and people and to know it only took one person to hurt me so bad. Forgiveness is not in my vocabulary with her.

What is "baker actor"?

Are your pets still alive I hope? If you are out and on your own, I would go as far away as possible and start over. It is not easy, I have done it. I lived in a tent for a while because i did not make enough to afford even a broom closet. My food allowance for one week (1984 - 85) was around $12.00. You don't have to forgive her, however, in accordance with faith, just turn her over to a higher power. He tends to have a bigger hammer than we do. The real hurt is why can't mom love me? Face it: all she was ever interested in was herself: I recommend looking up a forum for narcissist survivors. You may well find more answers there. Go to social services and see if they can help you. Church SHOULD help you, if they follow their beliefs.
Just remember: paybacks are hell. May not come in this lifetime but it will come. Hang in there.

She went off the wall screaming and physically attacking me, had to call sheriffs, told to expate her thru a judge, she was taken to a mental health facility, they kept her for 72 hrs for evaluation. Of course she played the victim. In fl, thats what they refer to as the Baker Act. She then filed a Domestic Violence order on me, which is a crimminal charge by a lawyer and judge. This was her revenge.

What is a Baker Act. If u don't have medical POA can't get results anyway. Hey, a NH for ur brother couldn't be any worse than living w Mom.

There are several cat rescue groups in Florida. If you are in the Central Florida area, I recommend pet rescue by Judy. In Florida, the Human Society is not 'no kill'. No matter which rescue group you reach, please be certain to explain that you only want your cats fostered. If they do not have any foster parents available, keep searching.

I believe we all know that hindsight is 20/20. That being said, I recommend a recording device to use, if you have any communications with your mother, her attorney, just about anyone. Go ahead & let them know that you are recording them and then record. And your mother sounds like she will just get mad and yell at you to just go ahead and record. That could be very useful. I'm sorry, that that's about all the helpful hints that I have for that part of the situation

Cooter, things are things. What you have now is the clear knowledge that your mother is mentally ill and that nothing you can do will change it. Without you to blame, her inability to care for herself and your brother will become clear and your brother will be removed. You can visit him. Don't look back at the rest of the mess.

If you find yourself living in a place where no pets are allowed, find a shelter to volunteer at or get a part time job there. Take care of yourself.

Glad you are going to get the cats out of there via your partner, if I understood correctly. The order of protection against you is a one way street. You and you alone are not allowed to be around her until it is contested successfully, and you should be able to do that. It is a good thing you are lawyering up. Sometimes, even often, DCFS does the right thing, but it sounds like in this case some key players don't get it...especially the sheriff, and her lawyer who obviously either believes her or just wants her money. The DCF failure to protect your brother from being slapped around is inexcusable - they need to get him out of there. And it is not a matter of her going to jail, but of APS (adult protective services, that's probably what you meant) getting him decent care and stepping in to take over guardianship once she is clearly a danger to herself or others again. You need the court date which should clear you of wrongdoing, and you probably need to speak with a supervisor at APS.

BTW, I just figured out what "expate" is..."ExParte Petition for Involuntary Examination", aka Baker Act in FL .

Thsnks for that, V.

Cooter 76: If there are weapons in the house, advise the police to please remove them.

I already did, except for kitchen knives, she has them. If I had stayed and put up with her lies, I have NO doubt she would of tried to us them on me. Let the sheriffs and anyone else deal with her, I got out with my life. Evil is evil, it will come back and bite her. I'm Done!

Sounds like a very sad mess if she feels comfortable retuning the cats via your friend let them get them don't make a bad thing worst as for your brother go to your lawyer and social services tell them your stories as for her she may calm down and drop the charges if you stay away and agree to disagree let the lawyers talk about clearing the air your brother is in the worst spot as his care depends on her maybe she will on her own like she did with the cats arrange for you to take him as frankly at her age keeping care of her self is enough when she cools off she will be more agreeable and will feel bad she went off on you later some times laser get to get her and clear the air for both sides show love and kindness no matter how bad you feel be the bigger person and all will come out well when you do tit for tat it only pulling you down her case will more then likely be dropped for lack of everdence they just removed you becauseits her house and you did say you where moving so real no big deal your lalaser can get your stuff sorry you are having all this

This women is plain Evil, vindictive, bitter, hateful and hurtful. There is NO reseasoning. I got the cats, she left them out, I got them in the middle of the night. I AM the Bigger person by Leaving before it got worse than it already was. Social services and lawyer already said there is Nothing I can do about my brother. She holds the purse strings. Yes, he's gonna suffer, but THAT is what she chose to do. I'm NOT going to get arrested for her cruelty.

Yay for the cats. No so hot for your brother. Don't break the law, but if you have anyone who can keep an eye on things and get back to you, be ready to call Adult Protective services again for his sake, if you have any credible evidence his care is not good.

I think I would try to get her committed...there are elderly facilities.

Already tried to have her committed, but she plays the Victim Roll very well. It's Everybody else, not her. Adult Services was called twice, they came out and told her she can't be abusive to my brother. They no sooner left and she smacked him in the head, and told him to keep his mouth shut. They said as long as she supplies his Basic needs, theirs nothing they can do. It's always my word against hers, she has lied so much. When Adult Services and the Sheriffs get the call that something happened, don't anyone be surprised, it's the way the system works here.

I have two questions:

1) It's way past April 17th. What happened in court?

2) When the sheriff or APS goes to your mother's house, why doesn't your brother speak up?

The DMOP was thrown out due to insufficient evidence. Luckily the sheriff testified on my behalf that I Never threatened her or abused her. That's what kind of nastiness I was dealing with. My brother being disabiled has very limited speak due to lack of therapy on her part. So he has no say. She always threatens him anyway if he don't go along with what she says, she'll put him in a nursing home where he'll be treated worse, then laughs about it.

Re brother getting smacked around - Nanny cam time, maybe?

My God, he'd likely do much better in a group home or assisted living - hope he can be rescued.