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Dr. Keith. What kind of assistance would you suggest for someone with a Master's degree? I have had interviews where I am actually asked well what happens to Mom if we hire you. They are already expecting lots of time taken off to take care of Mom. How does a person answer a question like that?
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I haven't worked at my new job long enough to qualify for FMLA, nor have I earned any time off yet. So, if I miss work; I miss pay! I am very angry/resentful of my brothers who have NEVER taken time off of work to do anything for my mom. It's stressful and overwhelming most times, but I know I am doing what I do with a pure heart and mom is safe and comfortable with me. To make up some of the time, I come in a little earlier or stay a little later; I also don't take my lunch break so all of that adds up. But I still loose hours and guess that's just the way it has to be!!!
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I'm self employed. If I don't work my contracts (which are usually 1/2 day engagements, planned months to a year or more in advance), I don't get paid, but I still have to find a sub to work that job (and risk receiving a very bad review, which negatively affects future contracts). So it really hurts to take off time for mom, but she did pass away in June. My siblings all had PTO and used not one twit of it to come visit mom....not even when she was in her final couple of weeks! !!! They all whimpered, it's too expensive. One came for a couple hours around dinner on Sat, and then promptly returned home so they could attend their home church services....I'm sure Heavenly Father was very impressed.
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I'm fortunate in that I work at home now though I have an office location. My boss so far has been very supportive and allows me a lot flexibility in my working hours (i.e, start early, work late many times ahead of the appointments, which there can be many). If it weren't for that I would've burned a whole through the PTO I have left this year. My husband's job allows him the same flexibility to help my dad. My brother can't, won't do it. As long as the job gets done well they've been fine with it, but it realize this is the exception. I did talk to others and HR for options as well, but I think it mostly comes down to the type of work you do and the management.
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I have used up all my vacation and sick time this year while mom was in the hospital and taking her to doctors appointments. I have told her doctors to make her appointments for early mornings or on my days off but mom insists that if she makes an appointment for 1:00, I will have plenty of time to get to work by 2:00. No I don't. There is always a long wait for the doctor and I still have a 30 minute drive to get to work. I told her that i will not take her to any late appointments and she would have to reschedule. As long as I have a note from the hospital my employer is very understanding about missing work.
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Do you qualify for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act)? Usually you have to be at your job for 1 year before you qualify. That is one of my problems I haven't been here a year yet and I missed 17 hours last week. That takes a big chunk out of my paycheck! None of my 3 brothers EVER miss work to do anything for mom.
And your right about the 1 pm appointment. The wait at my mom's doctors office is usually always an hour minimum in the waiting room and then a 1/2 hour in the exam room!!! Can you call the office and make the appt's? That's what I do now and I work it around my schedule and then just tell Mom when we will be going.
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MISSING WORK DUE TO ELDER CARE...Well tallvine You are so lucky, as You are still able to hold down Your Career. Most of Us Carer's here on site have had to forsake Our Career's. HONESTLY IM NOT COMPLAINING, as it was necessary to do so. My thought's are once You have explained Your circumstances to Your Employer's, surely They would understand. I would agree with You tallvine, this Issue must be raised at National level, so that all Employer's will understand Your situation. There must be an awful lot of People out there in the same circumstances to You.
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