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My grandfather passed away and he always handled everything with my grandmother. Well, she is mentally ill, has borderline personality disorder, and likely paranoia. She goes to a behavioral center for meds and has a psychiatrist. She has been living on her own with help from her daughter and granddaughter. She lives by her daughter now but she’s super paranoid all the time and always lying and accusing people of stealing from her which isn’t true. She been accusing people of stealing from her for years (even when she lived with my grandpa). My grandpa always redirected her and he is the only one she listened too. Now she thinks the whole family is out to get her and tries to get strangers online or “friends” to pick her up and take her places. She’s secretive and has alternate motives. No matter how many times we try to redirect her and reassure her she’s okay and no one is stealing from her, etc., it’s like a viscous cycle. She literally bought a car behind our backs and wrecked it (she hasn’t driven in 15 years) thankfully no one was hurt. After we told her she doesn’t need a vehicle and we’d take her places, she then burnt down my grandpa and her house a week later. She was strong insistent on living there by herself before this happened. Again, thankfully no one was hurt. I don’t know what to do from this point. We finally got her beside her daughter in a safe house. Now she’s still night and day with her mood swings and way of thinking. She’s constantly plotting things such as leaving or accusing people of stealing. It’s too much. Need suggestions on the next steps to take.

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Mental health issues aside has she been evaluated for Dementia of any type.
The two can seem alike but treatment and outcome are different and you can have both.
What leads me to believe this might be the case is your grandpa seemed to be able to redirect her and now that she was on her own she is lost.
Some of the mood swings may be sun downing as well as the typical mood swings she may have with mental health issues.
If anyone is on her HIPAA forms they should discuss this with her doctors.
I do hope someone has POA for health and finances.
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Has anyone in the family updated grandma’s psychiatrist on her current behaviors, the family’s lack of success in redirecting her, and the house fire? Due to HIPPA laws the doctor may not talk with you but that doesn’t mean the doctor can’t listen to your concerns. They need to know the current status and that things are not working.
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A note to her psychiatrist is in order, but be aware that the doctor may have an obligation to inform her that you’ve contacted him.
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To me, burning down her house means you call the Psychiatrist and have her placed in a Psychciatric facility. She is a threat to herself and others. Someone could have been killed in that car accident and in that fire. And when she is evaluated I would not take her back home. She needs supervision.
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