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My mom is 92, moderate dementia, confined to a wheelchair, full lift, physically healthy. Everyone says she is still "very smart" even though she obviously has pretty significant dementia (likely Alzheimer's).


This is the year she will probably have to move from 24/7 in-home care to an outside setting due to finances. My dilemma:


On the face of it, a memory care center seems like the better option because of my mom's dementia and the range of services offered. But it is also more "institutional," a little more impersonal, and more expensive.


The group home I have been looking at is light, airy, homey, with about 10 residents. Literally around the corner from where I live. But I'm wondering that the level of care may not be as skilled and that as the dementia progresses, they may not be able to handle things (they say they will be able).


Your thoughts are welcome and appreciated!

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There may be laws in your state about what a facility is licensed to do. I'd check on that. Can the smaller place care for her as she becomes bedbound?

Since your mother is moderate in progression, maybe, the atmosphere is important. However, I'd keep in mind that having the right team of professionals to keep her safe, clean, fed, etc. is really important as well. So is having staff who are trained to work specifically with persons who have dementia. I had to move my LO from a regular AL to a MC and the difference was staggering. It really made a big difference. Now, the MC was rather small, family owned facility and I liked that.

You might ask about the staff training, experience and how long they have worked there. I'd inquire how they would address any behavioral issues, which can occur as a resident progresses. Resistance to care can also be an issue. I'd try to get their approach on these and other issues. I think that basically, if a facility is properly prepared to manage the care of a person with significant dementia, they do it. Those places who are not prepared, may struggle and call you with the issues for you to resolve. Or they may ask you find another place. I was relieved that the MC knew how to provide the care for my LO without blame or expecting me to do their job.
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tornadojan Jun 2019
Thanks, Sunnygirl 1. I very much appreciate your thoughtful and detailed response!
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Even if the MC offers more services, are they services your mother would likely use? When I was looking for a placement for my father with vascular dementia, I tried to find some things that matched his lifestyle. He was something of a hermit with his own interests, so it didn't matter if the MC offered group trips and activities because he was unlikely to participate in them anyway. On the other hand, he has always loved sitting and reading in a rocking chair on his back porch or in the yard, so the MC that had a cover porch and small fenced in garden just off the common room went to the top of the list. Dad also ate small meals and snacks several times a day so the facility with 24/7 kitchen access that would accommodate his unusual eating patterns was a big plus. The MC with the garden and kitchen access was also less than 2 miles from a brother who wanted to visit Dad every day, so that's where I placed him. Other places could have met his physical needs just as well, but I felt this facility could also meet some of his emotional needs too.

Remember the facility you chose will be your mother's home, so the "institutional" feel to the environment should probably be a consideration at some level. If you have concerns over the group home being able to adequately care for your mother, ask a few more questions. Maybe they are confident because they have handled a resident before who had as bad or maybe even worse or more numerous problems. What is their plan to meet all your mother's needs?
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tornadojan Jun 2019
Thanks, TNtechie, for taking the time to respond. You have given me a lot to think about!
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