I may have to take my mom's dog away from her. Any advice?

I know my post seems jumbled, but I can't express strongly enough how important it is to keep these two together. Somewhat bluntly, if you feel people are being critical of you, they may never have had a pet. A dog/cat/whatever gives unconditional love, asking nothing in return but a pat, a rub, a whistle. Your mom gives her dog unconditional love. Work out the situation, PLEASE KEEP THEM TOGETHER. My prayers are with you to make this work.

I've been a dog rescuer for over 30 years and would like to make the suggestion that the dog would benefit from probiotics. Also, whenever I have a dog with diahrea I make "the potato diet". http://naturaldogguide.com/natural-dog-health/diarrhea-in-dogs/

While it's good to try to keep the dog with your mom, it's still important to think of the dog (which you obviously are doing). Would your mom be open for an in-home-care person to be there with her? One who loves animals and could ensure that the dog is okay and not fed things that would exacerbate the diahrea? That could ensure that the dog is getting enough to drink and not getting dehydrated? Dehydration will cause the dog to become very ill. Test for dehydration in the dog by pinching and pulling up the scruff. Does it go down quickly? If it stands up in the pinched up state the dog is very dehydrated.

I apologize. I only read about 50 of the answers. But I had a couple of ideas I haven't seen others offer so far so hope I'm not being redundant. One idea is to not buy mom the offending foods. If you think it is ice cream tell mom no dairy as puppy is lactose intolerant. If that clears it up then you know what it is. In other words let them both be off of dairy. Next, try giving puppy new snacks. So tell mom that when she eats her dinner, be sure to give puppy his new treat.
Little dogs that are companions to elderly serve a special role. Since you are buying the food limit mom to foods that are healthy for both mom and puppy. If not healthy at least ones that don't make them sick.
I can't keep my aunt from feeding too many snacks but I buy healthy ones and put the dogs food and water in the self filling type dispensers. That way if aunt forgets to put out food and water the puppy gets something to eat. My biggest worry as it relates to her pet is that one will outlive the other.

Hi, this is such a difficult situation. I have a much loved dog and I am getting older. Every day i think about what would happen if I was unable to keep her...I would be devastated. Here is just a small suggestion. Can your mom have a second plate of food she can feed the dog from? This could have canned green beans or carrots or other healthy food on it and she could feed from there. My mom had dementia so I know it might not work but may be worth a try. Good luck.

I think there are some great suggestions here if mom was in her home with a person who could constantly supervise her and the dog. But, if not, you have to rely on the person with dementia to follow protocol and adhere to certain restrictions.(Limiting the foods you provide mom is a good idea, but you still have overfeeding as a problem.)Depending on the degree of decline, that's not likely. So asking, pleading, informing, providing notes, often mean zero to a person with dementia. That don't have the capacity to deal with things like that. God knows they wouldn't harm the dog if they were thinking clearly.

While we all love our animals, I am a little confused as those who would sacrifice the health of the animal for the comfort of a person. It's not all about the human. We can't put a pet's life to be sacrificed for a person who is ill. To me that is selfish and if mom was thinking clearly, she wouldn't want her pet's health harmed. I would try to think of what she would want, if she was thinking clearly.

Hi, Is their away you can put the dog in doggy day-care during the day when your mom is most likely to feed him. If not maybe to your home. My mom sort of gave up letting her dog go outside and just let her go in the back room. I have moved into her home but it can only be for awhile. I try not to take anything she loves away for her, I work , now so since her and the dog have got on a schedule everything seems to work better. If at all possible do not take her dog. As we age we lose so much, if possible I would try to accommodate the dog situation, either by doggy day-care, dog relocation during food time, or having someone around during meals. Thanks

Very simple....since she does not realize what is happening, go buy her a very soft fluffy stuffed puppy animal in Walmart....and tell her that her puppy went over the rainbow bridge because she or he got sick; it is just a story; but the elderly love to stroke soft puppies; I have the cutest one that I bought in Walmart and it is on my bed and believe you me at 71 I always hug that puppy just as if I was ten years old; it is very comforting and it should be for your mom as well; make sure it is very soft and cuddly. Hope this info helps. Diane, Florida

Pet are a life line to seniors so taking away a pet should only be done as a very last resort. At 87 with dementia living alone is a potential risk. I would suggest some in home care for her or an assisted living community. Many of these communities take pet sand now offer pet care as part of the ongoing services. If is necessary to remove the dog from the home, can you take the dog into your home and visit your mom with the dog? If not check out local senior dog rescues. There are many that will take an older dog and place it in a foster home until such time as a permanent home can be found. Please do NOT take the dog to a city shelter.
For all of you that have pet, you should all have a Pet Trust completed that will spell out who is to care for your pet when you can no longer do so. Another option is to do a pet guardianship with a local NO KILL shelter.

Seems many here are not aware of the update. The dog has seen a vet and a mass was discovered in its abdomen. The poster has decided not to go through surgery given the dogs age. They will make the dog as comfortable as possible until his pain becomes unmanageable. For now the dog is eating a bland diet and doing well.

My heart goes out to you, why not buy her a robot dog? They are sold at Toys R Us. They walk, do tricks and more.

Lauraj - Im sorry for all your going through now - you're right, in my experience "when it rains, it pours". If you get the chance to reply - I was wondering whether the dog, Sammy right? - whether he would be staying with you now or back to your mom? Does your mom understand his diagnosis? Will she remember about the food issue and be able to determine when he begins to suffer? A few years ago we had a black lab, Luke, and a golden retriever, Belle. I feel bad to this day that we may have prolonged their suffering. Belle was 15 and Luke 14 - they had been together for 13 years. In the last two years it alternated between them who was doing poorly while the other was doing okay considering their age. We wanted to put them down together as one would have been devastated without the other - even though loosing them both at the same time would be unbearable for us. Plus my husband loved these dogs like his own children and was having a hard time letting them go - he deluded himself in terms of their suffering - not accepting they were in pain and dying because they licked him and followed him everywhere as they always had. And God bless dogs - don't you know they will sacrifice their own needs for their dedication to their human. I would hate to know your moms dog was doing the same. It's crazy how you can love a dog beyond reason, huh? I am like that with the two we have now - I can honestly say I love them more than the majority of humans in my life! Anyhow - I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all you're going through. If sympathy from a total stranger can help a little bit - know you are in my thoughts.

Paradise.....I am a HUGE animal lover but the truth of the matter is they don't have the same brain as ours. My sister passed away 3 years ago at age 64 and she had a dog that we could no longer take care of. This dog was her life. No husband (divorced) and daughter took it in as long as she could (it didn't get along with her dog). We found a great home for her and she is as happy now as she ever has been. She has other buddies to play with and the woman who took her in loves her to pieces. I doubt this dog remembers my sister. I'm not lecturing at all but we tend to put our own feelings onto our furry children and it's just not the way it is. It's hard enough to take care of our loved ones without the added pressure of taking on a helpless animal. If Lauraj has to move her mom in with her, God Bless her and I wish her the best (I lived with my dad for 6 mos after his heart attack and put my mom into a facility for dem/alz due to me throwing her completely off her routine. She went off the rails and wouldn't let my dad recover. Before that she was a sort of "functioning" dementia person). If she moves her into a facility then I wish all of them the best. Either way this dog needs to be taken care of properly and lovingly.

A few years ago my Mom was hospitalized and had to go to rehab for a few weeks, so I had to take her dog to my house. The dog had become to difficult for her to walk and he defect aged all over the house. He wasn't a bad dog, but with COPD, she could not walk him to make sure he did his business. She just chained him outside for a few minutes then brought him back in. She was a bit worried when I took him home because she was afraid how he would get along with the big dogs( 2 golden retrievers). I took a video of them playing in the yard and she laughed so hard. She decided he was much happier with me and would not take home home when she was released, so I got her a cat. The cat took much less Care and didn't have to go out.
When she got too sick to live on her own, being reunited with her dog was a big plus to moving in with us.

Some people miss the mark and didn't read through. Ignore what you think is insulting. Look for answers to the question(s). Its tough to deal with aging parent knowing she will be very hurt if the dog is removed. Someone must be there to oversee them both. (Or Mom must be moved with her dog where she can be watched, which is more trouble.) No matter how much you explain her mind will not accept the truth nor remember the facts.

P.S. do not replace a pet with another pet. Same problem exists. Mom cannot care for anything simply because her mind is deficient.

P.P.S. Try every idea you think might work and you can at least say that you tried. In the end, whatever you decide you must acknowledged that you tried your best and maybe it wasn't meant to be. AND That's Okay!
Its hard on Mom and its hard on You, no matter what.

Many homecare agencies will assist with taking care of animals so that a senior can stay in her own home and keep her dog. Perhaps getting someone in for companionship to redirect Mom in a game of cards etc might help to stop her from feeding the dog. Some studies have shown that keeping the brain active is a good way to slow the progression of her disease. Be mindful of the stress you are under. Caregiver stress is becoming a very major event as more and more people are becoming caregivers. You are doing a great job keeping up with the situation.

My mother has Alzheimer's and we had to remove her dog due to her feeding him non-stop which was constantly making him sick, plus she started to let him to pee and do his business in the house. My brother's wife found a rescue that was willing to take the dog and retrain in house breaking him, so my brother told my mother the dog needed a check up plus the dog seemed to be acting like he didn't feel well and would let the vet check it out. So my brother took the dog to vet and explained to them that we wanted to give the dog a check up and make sure all shots were up to date and asked them to hold dog for a day or two so we could make arrangements for the dog to be turned over to the rescue. My brother told my mother that the vet said the dog was very sick and had cancer and needed to be put to sleep because he was in pain. We know it was a lie, but my mother excepted it. She was upset for about one day and asked about the dog for a couple of days and she hasn't mentioned the dog since. When you talk about the past and mention the dog my mom looks at you like she doesn't even know what we are talking about. As for dog, he was adopted and the rescue stated the family is crazy about him and has sent pictures of him showing that he has actually lost some weight and playing with his rescue family and two kids. He looks extremely happy.

If the dog is being neglected, of course, you have to take the dog away. A dog (or any pet) is not a toy. Give her a stuffed animal. The life of the pet is equally important and this abuse should be criminal!

I have the same problem with my mom and her dog. What I have done is make fruit and salads for my mother and removed all salt and sugar products from her pantry. I did this because her "go to" foods versus a healthier choice. I got her dog a senior grain-free food and he has lost some weight. My mom hasn't complained about the salt and sugar foods not in the house. Really a minor change and it seems to be working. I hope this will help I know how frustrating it is because if you remove the dog your mother will be so lonely, and the dog will be left like the previous comments in the dog shelter to be euthenized. good luck God Bless

Save the dog's life by havng it removed.My husband's grandmom killed her dog by feeding it bagels, bologna, and more.

"I have asked my Mom to move in and also said it would really be helpful to me so I wouldn't have to keep going back and forth as well as trying to maintain two homes. Her answer was that she understood it would be easier for me however she said she is not ready yet. That she will let me know when that time comes."

Your mother has dementia. You must come to terms with the fact that she is NO longer able to make rational decisions in her own or anyone else's best interests. (As in, feeding the dog things she shouldn't.) If you are going to move her in with you, then just find a way to do it. Don't ask! Plan and tell her what's going on and then just proceed.

This may seem "disrespectful" of her as your mother/parent - but that person is gone. It is time for you to take control and make decisions that are in her best interests.

As an example - my MIL needed to get her hair done desperately, but would refuse to go when I made an appt. So the next time I made one, I didn't tell her until the morning of the day we were going. When she started to refuse, my husband told her - "Remember, you told us a few days ago that you wanted to make this appt. and so we did, and now you're going." And that was that. She did not want to admit that she didn't recall saying so.

Yes, you will have to lie to get your loved one to do what's in their own (and others') best interests. You are no longer dealing with a rational adult, but with a person with the mind of a small child - who is getting smaller by the day.

There is a wonderful program that may be able to help. http://petpeaceofmind.org/about-us/who-we-are/. Their "mission is to enrich the quality of life and well-being of older adults and hospice patients by providing a national support network to help care for the pets they love." Wishing you, your mom and Sammy the best.

Please be creative and don't remove her source of companionship and love for so many years. I think I would just be so terribly sad and maybe die if my Lily was taken away from me. We love each other so much. Try some of the previous suggestions, some of which seem viable, but let her keep her baby which probably is keeping her healthier longer!

I completely agree with Anita. Someone that has dementia or just starting it needs guidance. My mom's facility has always called it "Joining THEIR journey". We might see something so easy but they are overwhelmed and that's why they get angry sometimes. I said this earlier in a post that we love our animals to death and consider them family. Someone with dementia (can just be the start of journey) does not realize what they are doing at times or even remember doing it. I've lived through this for 12 years and watched my mom do everything in the book and then deny she did it or not remember. Her dog was so mean but she loved her Maggie even though she had bitten my mom several times and almost me and my dad. After the dog had to be put down my mom didn't remember that she had had to get stitches from the dog and denied, denied, denied. My heart goes out to all involved. But for the dog's sake I hope that the dog can find a great and loving home. Yes, she will be mad but it won't be the first or last time. But if you can stand to move her in AND the dog then that WOULD be a good solution. In my case that wouldn't have worked with my mom. She would have been too disoriented to comply with ANYthing or ANYone. Good Luck and God Bless

Yes take the dog to your family. Mom will forget quickly. It happened to my friend. Mom moved on because she forgot...... take him for 1 day.........somewhere. See how it goes. She will not die. Hugs to you

Your mom is not able to tell you when she is ready. You need to make that decision. Not sure if you have siblings to consult, if you do, the sooner, the better. Be empathetic and realize that we, the children are following the same road. Who knows who will care for us. ........ the elderly live in their world and we will need to show them love and good care..............hang in there, glad to have found this forum. I care for my mom at my home since 2011, she is 90. Dementia and depression. Hugs to all involved. Caregiving is not for wimps.♥♥♥

You know the largest group of people living now is centenarians. Someone must care for these people and their pets. This pet dog is a possible fall risk for her.

My mother was totally (unhealthily) obsessed with her dogs. One time she got a puppy weiner dog and insisted it slept in the bed. My father said no dogs in he bed so she moved into the spare room with the pup. For the last 12 years of his life my father slept alone and went everywhere by himself as she wouldn't leave her dogs. I now realize she was mentally ill her whole life.

Fast forward, she over fed Jessie, a miniature pinscher type until it was a barrel on legs, developed diabetes, went blind and died. I inherited Sue from her, a minpin x jack russell, then a whopping 28lb, now a trim 18lb, though not totally house clean. I probably saved her life.

I'm older now with physical issues, live in the country with a large fenced backyard and I've vowed only to adopt seniors from here on. I have no family and my Will leaves more than enough to care for anyone I may leave behind ... until we meet again across the rainbow bridge.