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I am so confused. My aunt is 90, mentally sharp but suffered a stroke which left her left arm and leg paralyzed. No other health issues. She sits in a wheelchair most of the day then in bed. Her room is upstairs and she can wheel out to the landing and see everything downstairs. We have a chairlift, ramps, aitomated chair and every device ever suggested. The house alarm covers every floor including basement. Every window, door alarmed with motion and glass breakage alarms. She has a one button panic button that once pressed the police or fire come. She has a keychain alarm next to her too. She has a medic alert button and she can speak to someone once pressed. She has a camera monitoring system so i can see and talk to her using my smartphone from outside anywhere.
So heres the deal. Can we leave to go to the store? How long can she be alone if at all? Is there anything else i need to do short of paying someone to be there every moment i leave? I dont want to do something wrong and i cant find the answer online. Helllpppp!

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My acid test in these situations is always "What happens if there's a fire? Can she get out herself?"
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I wish the elder services were better funded. Caregivers as a whole want to be there. They just need a break especially a married couple only 56 yrs old. The feds and state want to save money having them at home but they dont want to keep the caregiver sane by giving back some of that saved money for respite. Caregivers have rights too. We want to do our job but giving up your life is unreasonable. There should be advocacy for caregivers. I would start a group if anyone is interested. I love my aunt but it is crazy that the state expects your whole being 24/7
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I'm not reprimanding you! Just seeking information.

I think that you are kind and generous taking her to live with you.

Is she paying rent? Is she paying for your care? Was an agreement made and an eldercare lawyer consulted?

Your best answer about whether you can leave her unattended will come from your local Area Agency on aging.
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That, of course, is not an answer as to the legality of leaving her alone.

Is this her home, or yours?
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Hi its my home. We have a good rapport. We have home health aides come in for an hour in the am, an hour in the afternoon and an hour at night. We feel like we cant go out together for more than like 45 minutes or we are breaking the law and the aides will look at us like criminals. I just want the legal answer. Its horrible. Its like she has to pay every time we simply want to go out together and its driving us crazy. She doesnt mind us going out but im the type that wants to know the legal responsibility. She maxes out her income having the aides in already. We are disabled also but we dont have mobility issues. So our income isnt enough to support more hours. She has savings but i feel like im a prisoner unless i have her shell out money for a planned escape. We all get along but its hard to never go anywhere together. I really need to know the law. How long is acceptable? Are there other things i need to do to meet the legal way of hoing out for short periods. Thank you anyone who has facts and not judgements
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To Barb
No she cant get out herself but all she has to do is press one button and the fire dept is on the way. Also her medic alert button when pressed allows her to talk to the person getting help. It isnt the same as someone being there i know so please dont reprimand me ok?
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Dear stessed out. I am not trying to be mean but it sounds more like you have totally taken away from your aunt the reason many eldery persons prefer to live out their lives at home. Having the surveillance all the gadgets and everything else you have to monitor her must cost you a bundle of Dough. Are you wealthy? Does spending all this money take away from your and your partners quality of life. Does your Aunt know that she under 24/7 hour surveillance? If so how dose she feel about it.? I have a lot more questions. For instance is there good for all that your doing? Are you afraid of getting sued? Do you think she is drinking your alcohol or stealing from you? My guess is you are concerned about getting in trouble with the MA state law. I think you know the answer to your own question because you sound like an intelligent person. I also believe you are looking for an answer that will get you off the proverbial hook. One more Question why are you taking care of your Aunt?. Is a matter of no one else will do it. Is there any other faimily? Children Husband other siblings? Good lu
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