How do you manage working a full-time job and being a caregiver?

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I have a full-time job & the aide is with my mother during my work hours & I have to handle the rest by myself. I am so tired daily I cannot stand it & my work is suffering. Any suggestions (other than hiring another aide) we have to use the Medicaid # of hours per day & until July I have ZERO respite hours available.

Answers 1 to 10 of 36
Top Answer
It's called caregiver burnout. Talk to Mom's caseworker about what other options are available. Ask friends and cousins to give you a weekend off. At some point she will need a skilled nursing facility. You have to preserve your own wellness first, or you can't take care of anyone. Hugs to a good daughter.
I totally understand. I too work full time from home and care for my MIL who lives with us. I feel as everyday is a struggle to keep going my job and son suffers. My sister in law only helps at her convenience.
It's really hard..I'm in the same boat. I don't have an aide, but I work from home. It takes away from my work and sometimes I end up going back to work after dinner. You should consider getting family to come help you if thats possible. Or see what adult daycare is available then have an aide come in the evenings. Good luck and stay strong!
How do I make out? Not so great lately and I've nothing real positive to add. Working from home is great and I'm grateful my immediate supervisor understands. When mom wandered away the other day, he told me he and his wife had had the same problems with a MIL and mom. But things are getting more complicated. I just wish mom could be more cooperative with what little I ask of her. I work evenings but when this job is over and I have to go back out in the world, things will get even more complicated for both of us.
I did this for five years and I know how frustrating it can be. I had trouble with caregivers coming late or just being lazy and/or stupid. I finally just quit my job and went for seven months without an income, until retirement age was met for my teacher's pension. My SS wasn't available for several years. Adult daycare might be a good option for you. Then you could use the caregiver in the evenings or on weekends. I couldn't use it because my husband tried to wander away too many times for them to take him any more. Even though I'm at home now, I still have a caregiver come in 6 days a week for 3 hours. I can get groceries, see the grandkids, take care of personal stuff, etc.
If finances are tight, I'd definitely look into Adult Daycare or Senior Center, where she can hang out for a few hours a day. This way, you can save your aide hours.
We are fortunate, b/c I work full time too, but mom is in Assisted Living. Even there, she will just stay in her room all day long and do nothing, so now I'm looking into hiring someone (paid or volunteer) to come visit her 2-3 times a week and just talk to her, go on a short walk w/ her, encourage her to join the activities.
You can also check your local churches. Sometimes they have volunteers or sociial ministry programs that are affordable.
Lastly, I'm taking care of myself now to prevent burnout and found a caregivers support group for adult children taking care of their parents with Alzheimer's or dementia. This may not change the number of hours you put into taking care of mom, but it will hopefull help you deal better and prevent burnout. I start my group in 3 weeks, so I am very hopeful.
Its comforting to know that so many of us are in the same boat.
I am right there with you...no help but with the day caregiver and I am totally exhausted, then on top of the dementia or whatever it is they just diagnosed my mom with lung cancer....
Same here, my mom is 84. She has congestive heart failure and c diff. She is in therapy right now for a few more weeks because she wasn't drinking enough and almost had to have dialysis because she was so dehydrated! This is the second time in a very short time she did this. She was eating like crazy but not drinking enough. She is of very sound mind, but I think she is wanting more attention that I can't give. I work full time and I am gone for 12 hours a day. My brother lives 1500 miles away and has a new baby. He can't come help. I am her only family here. I am so overwhelmed and exhausted.

Plus I have her dog, two birds and three cats to take care of, plus my own two dogs, two horses and two geese. It is just too much for me to handle. I will do anything for my mom but I am SO burned out! I have a vacation planned for the beginning of July but I am worried about her being at home. She was going to go to my brother's but now I don't know if she is going to be okay to fly. My oldest daughter will come home to care for the animals, but my mom refuses to get along with my two girls anymore, so I am also worried about fights while I am gone! Can anyone give advice on caregivers? We really don't have the money to pay someone to come in daily so I just don't know what to do. I need a break, I fall asleep at my desk and sometimes while driving...
It's almost impossible to manage a full time job unless you have professional aids working all 3 shifts at your home.

My job had also suffered and I was just my parents *driver* as they are still very much independent living in their own home. But all those doctors appointments, and other appointments that were only available during the day, took it's toll on my career and because I was out of the office so much, my work eventually was distributed to other employees.... one day I found out my job had been eliminated.

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