Male GNAs changing and dressing female residents at nursing home; is this a normal practice?

Glad it worked out.

Thank you all for your replies. I spoke with the nursing supervisor on duty yesterday and she was very receptive to Mom's problems. She asked if we would like only females to change her, and I said yes please. Also made clear that this was not at all a reflection on the male caregiver, just Mom's personal preference.

Did your mother say she was crying because the caregiver was male? Or are you assuming that was the cause? Caring for someone bedbound is heavy work. You want the aide to have strength, training and gentleness. Gender really should not be the top concern.

If I were your mom, I'd be crying about the situation in general.

There was a male CNA at the SNF my mother was in & I requested that only female CNAS wash, dress & shower her.....tell them at nursing station

When Mom was in the hospital she had 4 nurses in her room. When two left it was the females. The males were left to undress her. She got very upset and I told them that she would prefer the females.

I too am a modest person. Yes, I have a male GYN only because thats all we have in my area and after 30 + years I am used to him. But no way would I want a male nurse or CNA helping me with bathing or toileting. Its bad enough when anyone has to help u even a child. Its bad enough when they have Dementia or an illness that has taken some freedom away but let them have their dignity.

I have always choose a female doctor for my care unless there is none to choose from. I feel more comfortable discussing female issues with a female doctors.

Wouldn't surprise me the progressive and politically correct crowd would love to force people to have no choice in choosing your own doctors based on genders. After all, males and females are all the same according to them. Bathrooms are no longer exclusively male and female. Some places, males can walk into female bathrooms if they want to.

I never let my girls go into a public bathroom by themselves anymore.

Males and females are the same. Yeah, right! Explain that to that poor lady in the nursing home above, and tell her she's being ridiculous.

If males and females are all the same, then lets see a female football team (if there is one) goes against a male football team.

My daughter attends a gymnastics school. I have never seen a boy in that school, ever. In her ballet school, there were probably 2 boys out of a few hundred girls. Let's force the boys take ballet and gymnastics.

And while we're at it, let's make it mandatory that all females 18 years and older sign up for the Selective Service like the boys do.

Sorry, i am a little off topic here. My sympathy to your mother. I hope you can request a female GNA for her.

One facility I worked at a gentleman did not want me to take of him because I am female. I was not offended and my feelings were not hurt. It’s just part of the job, it’s all about the comfort of the Resident.

I would not be embarrassed at all by being cared for by a professionally trained CNA, but I would be mortified if my son were watching as care was being administered by that same professionally trained CNA.

I might also feel the burden of my physical condition much more with my son present and watching.

My sons and I are VERY close, and I prefer to spare them my physical issues, and yes although BOTH of us know I have issues, we sort of suspend belief in a situation that I feel might be embarrassing to them, even if it didn’ t embarrass me.

I have had such better care from male nurses, more compassion, gentle interaction, listened to me and actually got some medical issues addressed.

I would encourage mom to not be embarrassed, he is a professional and understands completely. Who delivered her babies?

If he was not professional, then talk to the DON and find out what should be expected with these interactions and tell her how it went down.

Could it be a bit of vanity about being incontinent and having a man know? I have seen that time and again, it is the hardest obstacle to overcome for some.

My husband and dad both would not want another man helping them and I am completely sold from my personal experiences.

Best of luck getting mom comfortable with her care and I hope she makes a miraculous recovery.

Well, if you stop to think about it we've forced men to accept intimate care from someone of the opposite sex forever. And up until recently it was pretty uncommon for women to be doctors, so women had to accept intimate care from a male doctor.
Personally I think it is great that more men are going into nursing, especially front line caregivers like CNAs - and I may be showing my prejudices but I imagine it takes an especially caring man to choose a career that undoubtedly has caused him to be ridiculed at some point.

When Mom was in rehab, my very unscientific study estimated that maybe 50% of the cnas were male. Our first few encounters with a male assisting her to the bathroom, she was mortified, but the aid was very calming, and so was I, trying to impress upon her that he was a professional. I did question the administration if we could specify that she wanted only females, and they said we could, if it became a real compliance problem. But the reality of the situation as I looked around, her wait time for assistance would have greatly increased, since there were so many male aids, and it wasn’t worth it putting up a fuss about it, as long as they help her maintain some degree of modesty.

Now at her NH my very unscientific study estimates about 10% of the cnas are male. (About 10% of the residents too) On her floor on 3rd shift there’s only 2 aids and I is a male. So I think you may find that the demographics sometimes simply don’t allow for specifiying a gender.

I've been struggling internally with this issue since 1984, when I encountered a male midwife. He was very nice and very professional, but if he'd been on the labour ward instead of the post natal ward... I just don't know what I've have done. I do know that I would not have been impressed.

Much more recently, on the acute stroke ward where my mother was admitted, there was a handful of male healthcare assistants (one with striking tattoos on his arm, which to be honest I found more of a worry); but there the nurses worked in packs of two or three when it came to washing and similar, and my mother seemed not bothered by it at all.

I personally feel that if you are in a gender minority which makes your client base uncomfortable with you, it is up to you to be sensitive to the issue and provide reassurance as necessary. m1kew, what did you think of this GNA's approach to your mother? How did he interact with her individually? Did he introduce himself properly before he started in on the changing routine, make any attempt to put her at her ease? If you hadn't been there and hadn't stayed, would somebody else have come in to help? - because I certainly don't think an unfamiliar male should have been delivering personal care without a chaperone present.

You should be able to find out what nursing home regulations in your state say about your parent's right to express a preference about the gender of people providing her with personal care. Try digging around online under "nursing home regulations in [state]" or "nursing home patients' rights in [state]."

You could also have a word with the managers at her nursing home, explain that this is making your mother miserable, and see if they are willing to accommodate her.

There *are* advantages to having men on the team, especially when it comes to safe handling of immobilised patients - good strong arms make for a smooth, efficient, quicker change.

I know it seems a lot to ask of an elderly lady at a very low point in her life, but if you can help your mother accept the presence of men on the care team that would be best for her. Remind her that he is there as a professional, just as a doctor or a theatre nurse would be, and that although it takes some getting used to there is no cause for her to be embarrassed - just pretend he's a robot. As I say, I think it's actually the nurse's or aide's job to do that, but you can helpfully reinforce the message.

I feel so bad for your Mom. That must have been an awful experience for her. I believe this is becoming more of a practice as I am seeing it more.
But, you have the right and Mom has the right to say that she is not comfortable with that and she would prefer a woman to assist her in personal things.
She should never have to experience that again. I would definitely speak to whoever is in charge to make sure they accommodate her wishes.