Male GNAs changing and dressing female residents at nursing home; is this a normal practice?

When my daughter was in labor, a male nurse came in to check on her progress, and she told him she wanted a female nurse. He was fine with that. So, it isn't just old folks who feel uncomfortable in some situations.

A general rule, that also applies to doctor office visits. If care provider is of opposite sex, a second person of same sex should be in the room.
There are often advantages height or body strength that. Can be helpful with a male caregiver, but he should not be alone when care involves exposing your mother's female parts. Talk to NH senior nursing staff. It is as my a protection for them as you. With your mother's limited mobility and communication, it is especially important.
Like others I was a NA in hospital years ago.

I'm so sorry she was so upset about it. You should be able to request a female to change her. I work in the healthcare field and some aides and nurses are men and we don't get to choose who our patients are so we just do the best we can and remain professional. Trust me, the male aide will not be offended if you request a female for your mother. Often times, my male coworkers ask me to change their female patient because the patient or family is requesting. I don't mind, they don't mind and we completely understand. While your at it I would speak to the manager to make sure not to have that happen in the future. Having said all that though if they happen to be short staffed that day, she may need to wait a while for the female aide. Hope everything works out.

Nearly 50 years ago, I worked in a NH and there were NO male CNAs. Nursing was primarily a female's field. Things have changed a bit now. The first few times I had to clean men I was embarrassed. But I finally got over it. Many times there were 2 of us so it was not a problem. The 2 of us could carry on a conversation so nothing seemed awkward. Just up a few decades. Atage 64 I fell and broke my femur. Had surgery and had rehab in a NH. I was embarrassed regardless who cleaned me up. I did however take a 2nd gasp when a man just a few years younger than me came in to take me to the bathroom. He politely went and got one of the girls. He understood. Later, I had no choice to have another male take me. He was young and openly gay. Still was a bit embarrassed but I got over it. That being said, years ago I worked in several homes and we were ALL female so the men had to deal. They seemed to be ok and I remember my dad when he was in a body cast and had to have nurses bath him. It is just a fact in life I guess. I personally am uncomfortable with women DRs . Like someone else posted, it seems creepy to me. Just my thoughts at 66.

I would think more than one person helps with bathing..but if your mom is THAT distressed over bathing why can't you do it. however any attendant SHOULD state the purpose of their presence and especially if a person is still with it cognition ask permission if they can do the bath. if they say no the workers can switch patients and do another patient instead. I would think it would be like "Hello my name is Joe and I'll be your nursing attendant. It is time for your bath..would it be okay if I and Sally did your bath?" That's common sense approach. Unless a person were in a coma nobody just goes in there and does the task.

Let me say that having been a male CNA working in a nursing home, sometimes it gets embarrassing for the male also. I think that , generally speaking, a male would rather take care of male patients. That being said, we consider ourselves professionals and as such try to do what is best for the patient regardless of gender. Sometimes I get a little nervous when I have to see a female doctor if it involves a measure of intimacy. Medical or care situations require a change in attitude (unfortunately).

usually there are more female patients then male. Men die sooner. So make nurses will invariably help female patients at some point for some needs. On our entry paperwork we were able to select male vs female. Mom has had a male bathe her. Unfortunately she “fell in love” ‘since who else sees you naked besides a love interest’. When he did not return interest in a personal relationship mom was incredibly hurt and said to me “I could cry rape if I wanted”. WTH!!!!! I never mentioned this to the powers that be. I trusted the man completely. Mom maintained her infatuation for a couple years then attached her love interests on yet another unattainable man. Both men in there 50’s. Mom in her 80’s. Second man is gay snd martied to his partner of 32 years.
So bottom line, knowing that men nurses might need to with woman patients, the patient should have a choice, or male aide should be accompanied by female aide. My mom throws out the term “elder abuse” at times too. The facility should know to cover their butts from fake allegations. Can you put in a nanny cam? Whether you watch it or not, it’s presebce and the notices that security cameras are on sight might keep staff on their toes.

I believe the situation has been addressed and the problem solved.
Just to comment, ironically, my FIL made the same complaint--he didn't want the male CNA tending to him, either! No valid reason, no abuse, he just thought it was creepy, I guess. Maybe he thought it was OK for the ladies to "enjoy" doing that.
The facility was very understanding and honored our request to change whenever possible.

UUNACCEPTABLE! I have been caring for Mom for years. Whenever she has been in the hospital l,or on a rehab facilty, I INSIST on ONLY FEMALES to clean her. Men have the right to do this to, but they don't. Glad you stepped up for your mother!

I'm going to respond here without reading (which I will later) the other more informed responses. There are undeniable generational changes and attitudes. One would think we, our family member would have a right to still make our own decision as to who provides are care. Your mom may be understandably modest and prefer a female. Her right. She may be distressed at the current state of her abilities. Wouldn't we all? Now, on the other side you may have a nursing home that cannot discriminate in hiring based on sex. Nurses come in both sexes, so doing nursing assistants. This guy MAY be the best NA ever for all any of us know. And...he may be the only one available for the shift...so it may be him, or no one to help mom. I wouldn't be too happy personally, necessarily. So you have to reassure yourselves: ask the NH his professional background, if they do a criminal background check, which I assume they do by law. I would call your local Long Term Care Ombudsman's office to see what rights mom and you have in receiving care. If you switch facilities, you may encounter the same potentially. I'll add that I have been in a hiring position and have had some male responders, but they are few and far between. I have an obligation to consider them as I do others. I have concerns reflecting my own subjective bias that I must push aside. But I will do everything in my power to make sure I feel good about these people as I would anyone being considered. We have yet to hire a male because the females have had more appropriate experience or the males have taken themselves out of the process for whatever reason. Lacking common sense is one. (House cleaning position and the applicant was going to have one or two knee replacements!...soon...so how was he going to kneel to clean? He would have been as disabled as the people we're trying to help!) Let us know how this goes.

The rest home is running a business. A part of that business is taking care of elderly women. If they can’t accommodate the routine needs of the female patients, they should stop accepting female patients until they are appropriately staffed.

Many people are unaware that there are perverts of all kinds running around out there getting jobs that routinely puts them in a position of molesting or otherwise abusing the people they assist. A good example might be a male employee of a male haberdasher. In most cases that is not a problem. But in my 51 years of investigative experience I’ve seen male perverts get take such employment because of the opportunity to molest customers that the job offers.

After a period of hospitalization my wife was sent to a rehab facility. During a visit by five family members my wife sat in a wheelchair, while I took advantage of her empty bed to take a brief nap. I was dozing on my back with my knees up. A male nurse who I never saw before, came into the room and apparently trying to be humorous, put his hand on my genitals and made some comment about needing the diaper changed. That was done in full view of my son-in-law and grandson. Everybody was shocked including me. I complained, and he was fired.

Of course in emergency situations there is a built in priority that puts safety and handling of the situation ahead of embarrassment. About six months ago I managed to fall in the shower. I can’t get up from falls and my wife is not strong enough to help me. She called 911 where we could normally expect a couple of big strong firemen to show up and get the job done. This time was a little different two sweet young things in firemen’s uniforms suddenly appeared. I told them the first thing that came to my mind, “Don’t Look!” Frankly my biggest concern had nothing to do with what they saw or didn’t see. I was mainly concerned that they didn’t drop me - which they didn’t.

Your mom shouldnt be crying for an hour over a male cna. Poor lady. Id definitely contact the nursing home and request a female for care. Tell them she was traumatized. She was, so they should be able to switch around cnas. Good luck.

Under Federal Law a resident has rights. They have a right to choose and a right to refuse. It is not uncommon for a female resident not to want to have a male give them personal care. It is their right to request only female aides to give them personal care!

After being discharged from an overnight stay at the hospital for observation, I picked up my 86 year old mom to bring her home (I couldn’t stay with her at the hospital; has to tend to my dad). My mom has moderate dementia. Within the first hour at home, she suddenly said, “you know, the strangest thing happened. A man gave me a (sponge) bath and felt my breasts - no one’s ever done that but your father”.

Thankfully, my dad couldn’t hear her and she completely lost what was clearly distressing for her. I have no doubt she was telling the truth, but wasn’t sure if the male CNA had taken advantage of her by fondling her? No way to prove with dementia, but I did call the hospital to alert them to be observant. If I were a male nurse, I’d expect issues like this & insist not to be left alone with a female, especially a female easily taken advantage of with cognitive decline. I’ve always been haunted by this incident.

I just had to jump into this. The answer to your question is that you should be able to request female aids only. You can request female aides only in the hospital. It seems obvious to me that the staff should have communicated with your mother or you and let you know they would like to send in a male, that would have been considerate and aware on their part. It was a shock to your mother as it would be to me. So sorry that it happened this way. It appears you have worked it out -- praises to you that you are caring for your mother in this way. My mother is right on the edge of needing the same things.

Hello, at the nursing home where I work, when there is a male GNA on the unit, he is assigned to care for all the men (we don’t have that many) and for a specific group of women who are NOT distressed by his care. So, I would say, YES it is normal practice that a male may care for women, but NO it is not the practice to have him care for her if she is distressed. Good luck, and I am sure you will be able to work this out.

My mother is 82 y/o and in a nursing home; is totally bedridden after falling while she was a resident in ALF. Her story is that a male nurse came into her ALF room while she was in the shower, and it startled her so much, that she fell and broke her hip! Believe me, I met with the director of the ALF and heard their side of the story, because I felt that if the male nurse had not gone into her room, she would not have fallen like she did and break her hip. Life may have been very different for her today. However, the ALF staff defended the male nurse stating that he was "doing his job"; knocked properly; etc. I sent a letter to the Health Care Commissioner, and the outcome was that they were fined for having poor patient staff ratio, and some of the staff quit or were terminated. Now, this incident could have happened regardless of the gender of the CNA. However, my mother is extremely modest and has a history of trauma! The point is, the nursing home staff need to pay attention to the individualized needs of the residents! If an elderly person prefers a same sex staff person attending to their intimate needs, then they need to accommodate. I suggest that you have a talk with the social worker at your mother's facility and request that both a male and female CNA attend to her needs. This will ensure accountability and safety. The comment above suggesting that you take your mother home if she is too "choosey" and care for her yourself is condescending and disrespectful to both you and your mother. Your mother is fortunate that you are her ADVOCATE. I continue to advocate for my mother in her current facility. She tends to cry and scream out whenever her brief is changed! I believe that having her brief changed "triggers" her trauma experience, and I advocated with the social worker, and the staff are very sensitive to her needs when providing intimate care. They distract her by talking and joking, and they work together quickly to "get the job done" and then she is fine. I have utmost respect for any caregiver (male or female) who have very difficult tasks to attend to. My suggestion is to spend more time at the facility, especially be present when staff attend to your mother's intimate care. When the staff pull the curtain to care for her, sit outside the curtain and give your mom reassurance. Tell her calmly that the staff are there to help her, etc. Hopefully, this will help your mom with acceptance. Acceptance is one of the most important tasks for an elderly person (and their family members) who is losing their independence and ability to care for themselves. God bless you.

That happened to my mom. A male aide came to assist her with her bath at the assisted living. My mom said to me she did not like it and several times refused her bath. So I went to administration and requested female aide to assist her. It is her right to request a female aide if she is embarrassed.

Men are actually better because they tend to be stronger, and caring for someone bedridden is very back breaking and labor intensive. During the Middle Ages only men did nursing as they were monks caring for the sick. It is a discriminatory stereotype to think all women are nurses; as the economy erodes more men are going to get into the nursing field or assistants for nurses. It's a job. In fact, if the facility only hires women caregivers they can get sued for discriminatory practices. If you mom can be that choosy maybe you should take her home with you and do all the care yourself.

My mom's assisted living facility has only female care givers. I actually think some male energy around would be nice for the ladies, but I do understand because my mom might be embarrassed to be changed and bathed by a man. It's good that you spoke up about this. Her comfort is important. It's also important that men are not discriminated against with their choice of work. A story: a good friend of mine cared for his mother for 2 years before her death. He did all the bathing and changing of her underpants, lifting, carrying her, feeding her, talking to her and listening to her, bringing her much joy in a very sad situation. I suppose it all depends on the person how modesty will affect them.

Men have had female CNA's care for them for years. As more young men are going into the profession, females will have to get used to it. It is a very humbling thing to accept that kind of personal care no matter who is giving it.

ALL that are posting saying it's ok for a male to care for ANY female can not understand this is inappropriate at any age with the PEDOPHILES in this day and time. Come on ppl, protect our Young and Seniors that depend on us as their loved ones.
Inappropriate!!!!!

It is totally understandable that a woman might prefer only other women tending to her personal care. It is equally understandable that a male patient would also prefer only male staff tend his personal needs. The problem is that most hospitals and facilities expect men to just accept females, to the point that staff may verbally embarrass or bully the men into silently accepting female staff. This is the "you don't have anything I haven't seen, you don't have anything special, are you afraid of women, we're all professionals here, we don't have modesty here" kind of stuff that male staff would be fired for if they ever spoke to the female patients that way. Men are just as deserving or having their dignity respected as women.

My wife was in a nursing home from 2007 to when she passed away in2017...Her favorite nursing assistant (and that of every other patient)  was a young man.  He did everything related to her care and she had no qualms about it.  He said she was a second grandma to him and he meant it.  I feel sorry that your mom is so embarrassed and empathize with her.  To answer your question, from what I have seen, yes, make nursing assistants do work with female residents.  
Grace + Peace
Bob

The talent, professionalism, and dedication of a nurse or caregiver have nothing at all to do genitalia.

Please do let’s remember that professionals should not be discriminated against because of anything as arbitrary as observable gender. Patients are not the only ones that deserve dignity and have feelings.

God bless the nurses and caregivers of all sorts, anywhere on the gender continuum.

I am so sorry about your mother.

Are you able to talk to your mother pointedly about having a male tend to her? Sometimes talking about it can help.

My mother also had a male shower, dress, and help her with her Depends. I asked her if she was OK with it and she said she was. But, she also mentioned it each time I visited her. When she did, I asked how she felt about it and she would say something like, "He's very nice," "He really knows how to wash my hair," etc. Because it seemed positive, I thought it was fine.

All the best to your mother.

Unfortunately it is very common. I dealt with this situation a few weeks ago with a 94 year old Lady. The Male Nurse came in to change her "Depends". I quietly told him we would prefer to wait until a female was available to change her. We had to wait a bit but I new how embarrassing this would be for her. The Male Nurse understood.

What we as a society need to understand is the following. 75 and older Females lived in a time period when only there Husbands saw them naked. Let alone cleaned there bottoms. We all have to try and put ourselves in there place. But, we can't because we don't as a whole live as privately as the older generation did. We all must be understanding and respective with the elderly.

Note: Please try and call them "Depends". I know it's just a word but for those that have to wear them, it's much kinder. When they hear diaper that word puts it into another category for them.

My father was the same way, it's very common. Try to remind her that there are a lot of male care givers out there who are just there to do their job and not to embarrass her.

Yes it is,unless you specifically request a female CNA.Talk to the Social worker at the facility.

I, too, am happy that things worked out for you and your Mum. In the Care Centre where my husband lives, residents/families can also make the same request re the gender of caregivers. If a gender specific caregiver is not available in the unit where the resident lives, one comes from another unit. Granted, this may increase the wait time for care but, like everything else in life, we must compromise and take the "good with the bad".

On a slightly different topic, may I ask that the term "caregivers work in packs" not be used. It makes them sound like animals. Perhaps "pairs", "sets" or "groups" would be more respectful.