My boyfriend (52) is a full time carer for his mother, of 82, who has dementia. He never has time for me. I only see him once a week when he's out with his friends and always refuses any suggestions l make to meet up. I want to understand his caring responsibilities; but don't know how to make time for 'us'?
When I have free time I spend it alone or like your boyfriend, I spend it with my friends. Why? #1. I get so little free time I crave the solitude. #2. My friends are nurturing. #3. I belive your intentions come from the heart but your asking feels like a request. And that feels like one more thing to do. Freqflyer makes a great point about giving him time. How? Are you willing to pay for a sitter so he can make 4 hours for you? Are you willing to just enjoy his company without needing anything from him? And I mean anything. If he's like me, he's tired. You needing attention, is too much like a job. I said goodbye to my guy 'cause his constsnt asking to see me felt like one more need person I had to do somthing for. This has nothing to do with love. If you need love and attention move on. I'm very sorry saying this. Neither you or my guy deserve this. Neither your guy or I asked for this. Good luck to you.
Right now is focus is on his mother. Caregiving for a person who has dementia is physically and emotionally draining. That could be the reason that he doesn't have time for "us", he has nothing more to give.