Caregiving and maintaining a relationship. Any advice?

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My boyfriend (52) is a full time carer for his mother, of 82, who has dementia. He never has time for me. I only see him once a week when he's out with his friends and always refuses any suggestions l make to meet up. I want to understand his caring responsibilities; but don't know how to make time for 'us'?

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Jane15, I'm in the same church, different pew. I am single, no children. As my mom's disease progressed my free time diminished. When asked to go out my answer always "sorry I cant...my mom" Then the request came " I know how busy you are with your mom, how about I take you someplace nice?" or "maybe we could do your errands together?" my response "sorry no" So finally I had to tell him I take no pleasure in constsntly saying no please stop asking me.
When I have free time I spend it alone or like your boyfriend, I spend it with my friends. Why? #1. I get so little free time I crave the solitude. #2. My friends are nurturing. #3. I belive your intentions come from the heart but your asking feels like a request. And that feels like one more thing to do. Freqflyer makes a great point about giving him time. How? Are you willing to pay for a sitter so he can make 4 hours for you? Are you willing to just enjoy his company without needing anything from him? And I mean anything. If he's like me, he's tired. You needing attention, is too much like a job. I said goodbye to my guy 'cause his constsnt asking to see me felt like one more need person I had to do somthing for. This has nothing to do with love. If you need love and attention move on. I'm very sorry saying this. Neither you or my guy deserve this. Neither your guy or I asked for this. Good luck to you.
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Sorry, that was a bit abrupt and not very sympathetic. There are too many men out there looking for a good woman to waste time with someone who isn't interested. You'll find a good man soon I hope.
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If he is able to find a day for his friends, but not for you, his intentions are clear. Time to find a new boyfriend.
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Not to be harsh.. but I think you already know the answer to this question.. I do not see couple anywhere here.. time to move on
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I'm not sure why you consider you are a couple if you only see him once a week in a social setting. Are you sure he is even interested in anything more than that?
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Jayne, have you asked your boyfriend is there anything you can do to help him with his Mother? By you helping, maybe then, and only then, he would have time to be with you.

Right now is focus is on his mother. Caregiving for a person who has dementia is physically and emotionally draining. That could be the reason that he doesn't have time for "us", he has nothing more to give.
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