Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She often denies being wet and never notices the smell. Not sure if/when she doesn't feel being wet vs. avoiding using a new diaper because to her it is wasting money.
You can’t talk sense into someone whose brain is dying. take her hand and say, “come on, love. It’s time for a fresh pair of underwear” (don’t call it a diaper)
It sounds like it's well past time that someone else now step up to change your aunts diaper every few hours as with her broken brain she can no longer be responsible to do this herself. And you don't ask, you just tell her that it's time to get cleaned up now, and take things from there.
If it is truly leaking, perhaps they are the wrong size? Sometimes one size smaller can make a huge difference with leaks.
If the leaks are because she is a heavy wetter, for example overnight, there are companies that sell “booster pads” that go inside the diaper.
finally, if the issue is truly cost, look into your local PCA for assistance getting low cost or free Incontinance supplies through state assistance programs.
if all else fails, definitely call them underwear and just tell her it’s time to change, even if you set an alarm for every 4-6 hours.
She is no longer in early dementia. If she lives alone, she is no longer safe. Who is her POA? If no one is, then contact APS to start a record that she lives in an unhygienic situation.
There is little you can do about any of this in the case of advanced dementia. At some point it is well to have placement simply because one on one care 24/7 isn't sustainable. If Aunt isn't in a care facility I think it's time to consider that she may require now a few shifts with a few people each to provide her care. I wish you good luck.
This is no longer early dementia . We had the same problem with my mother and FIL . They resisted all attempts because they could not feel the wetness , until it leaked ( and later not even then ). I also think part of it was it became too difficult to do themselves and did not want help . Later , my FIL totally did not acknowledge he was incontinent at all . I found that moderate dementia with extreme stubbornness requires NON family caregivers in assisted living . My mother’s doctor said , “ Mom won’t listen to you because she sees you as a child . Often a time comes when homecare does not work any longer “.
Does she go to the bathroom at all on her own? You mention being wet but does she still go when she needs to poop? If so, I always left a change near the commode where it was accessible during this stage. Find a spot within her reach to tuck a clean pull-up. You’ll soon know if this will work at all. I did this for DH aunt and it worked for awhile. Try not asking her if she is wet, just make an excuse for her to get up and start to walk then you can more easily guide her to the bathroom. Sort of a “once begun, half done” idea. Come see this mom, you might say or I wish you could see this! Going to change is not fun, so don’t mention that. Sit her on the commode and if she can change her own, let her. While she is on the commode, give her water to drink. After she changes and washes her hands give her a little lotion or lipstick or brush her hair or a fresh spritz of lavender or favorite scent, perhaps another drink of water and then let’s go see what’s cooking or some little travel idea. I used to sing Chattanooga Choo Choo for DH aunt and she loved it. I had a firm boundary but didn’t mind handing wipes and giving prompts and suggesting maybe another wipe or two is needed. So we did okay while she could handle those steps.
Many elders are used to needing a pad long before they start with pull ups for a leaky bladder. I know my mom would be dry while sitting but if she didn’t go on a regular basis, like every hour, she would stand and her bladder would empty. She knew if she went every hour or so, her pull-up would last until night time. But with dementia, so hard for them to remember. My mom would drink her water while going to the bathroom and coming back. She had numb finger tips so she had her glasses of water lined up on her kitchen counter with a straw and would stop on the way.
i mentioned the water because you said she didn’t notice the odor. The odor is much less when she is properly hydrated plus her skin will be beautiful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
And you don't ask, you just tell her that it's time to get cleaned up now, and take things from there.
If the leaks are because she is a heavy wetter, for example overnight, there are companies that sell “booster pads” that go inside the diaper.
finally, if the issue is truly cost, look into your local PCA for assistance getting low cost or free Incontinance supplies through state assistance programs.
if all else fails, definitely call them underwear and just tell her it’s time to change, even if you set an alarm for every 4-6 hours.
I had a firm boundary but didn’t mind handing wipes and giving prompts and suggesting maybe another wipe or two is needed. So we did okay while she could handle those steps.
Many elders are used to needing a pad long before they start with pull ups for a leaky bladder. I know my mom would be dry while sitting but if she didn’t go on a regular basis, like every hour, she would stand and her bladder would empty. She knew if she went every hour or so, her pull-up would last until night time. But with dementia, so hard for them to remember. My mom would drink her water while going to the bathroom and coming back. She had numb finger tips so she had her glasses of water lined up on her kitchen counter with a straw and would stop on the way.
i mentioned the water because you said she didn’t notice the odor. The odor is much less when she is properly hydrated plus her skin will be beautiful.
See All Answers