Visited my 89 year old mom today because she needed "stuff". Violent phone call last week, so I knew it'd explode again today. Using calm voice & all my reasoning skills with an unreasonable mom, I never convinced her I had had enough of her accusations, anger, mistreatment, manipulation, etc & have to hang up or leave when she turns it on. She grew defensive & said my being her POA was too much for me, she'd been agreeable with everything, & for me to just stay away. I have heard all this before, but today I agreed that I'd have to get her to cardio next week but after that we'd part ways. I'll have to continue my POA status with bill paying, her shopping, etc but I can make drops at her Asst Living facility & not see her. We did this back in the winter months but we eventually got back together, taking stuff in, etc. It was short lived but things were better. Then, she returned to her ugly, mean self & abusing me again.
I am going to try again this separation (after Tuesday's dr appt). I'm really feeling relief already. Anyone else been here, done this? By the way, no fear, no obligation, or guilt! I've been through that for years. Truly thinking, I can leave her to herself & POA from afar.
I think most of us know that we don’t have the power to change others. So do what is best for you. It’s hard. No matter what the circumstances so if it is possible to make life easier for you. Go ahead. You can only do so much.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there were fairytale endings to everything but not all dreams come true.
Take care of you and remember this time when she wants you to come visiting because she needs someone to shred. Let her shred anyone else.
You got this! Hugs!