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but i was never notified or told and mom wanted me to be included?didnt understand what it ment to take my name off - if she was even told that-
she is in a nh. there is only me and my brother-as far as i know-it isnt a big financial estate-yet i still cannot get to see anything...do i have any recourse?
this is so wrong- but he claims he has POA -of everything-i was POA of health-
apparently now i am not- yet i cared for her the last 13 yrs
he did not
help!!!!

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From my experience when Mom changed her POA and my brother was removed he rec'vd a letter from attorney stating such. He denied he recieved it however it was sent certified mail and he signed for it so I know he got it.

Not to be nosey but do you and your brother get along? If so, you really need to talk to him and your mom if she is in her right mindset about situation. If you don't get any answers maybe find out what Lawyer did the change and talk to them. But don't be surprized if they don't give out too much info. They might be able to verify if your name is still on POA or not.

I want to stress that you need to have open relationship with your brother. Maybe if he is infact now POA he will allow you to be part of decisions for your mom. But this can be a tricky and frustration thing for you. Just stand your ground. Remember a POA and will can be changed at anytime as long as your mom is compentant thru the legal system.
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do you still have your copy of POA? If so show to nursing home and see if they tell you it is no longer current. Also I would talk to the lawyer that drew up the POA when your mom signed for you and get his advise on what your brother is saying. Maybe he is just bluffing? Who knows., but someone needs to know.
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I don't know about "legal right" (I hope someone else will), but it is only common sense that all close family members see all of these documents. That is one of the reasons they are created -- so there are no surprises during crisis and family all know the patient's wishes.

Is your brother preventing you from reading these? If they really have been changed and your name taken off, wouldn't it be to his advantage to show you? Could he be lying about that?

I would think that the NH must know who has medical proxy or medical POA. Ask them. They may not be able to reveal much to you because of confidentiality, but if you explain that as far as you know you are medical POA, can they confirm that, I hope they would be able to do at least that.

Is your mother legally competent to make changes? Does she have dementia? If she is legally competent she can make changes any time she wants to. Of course, it may be possible to trick her into signing things.

You mentioned an estate. Is this about money, from you brother's perspective? What do you fear that your brother might do with medical proxy that would be against your mother's wishes?

If you find out that indeed your name has been removed from the medical proxy document, bring it up with your mother. "Mom, a few years ago you appointed me to make medical decisions for you in case you could not do so. Did you change your mind about that?" Whatever her answers, try to remain calm and do not upset her. Make no accusations or show anger. You just want to find out where you stand.

If your mother was tricked into signing something she did not understand, and she wants it changed back, she can simply sign a new version (with whatever witnesses, notarization, etc. called for by the document's form), so that solution would be easiest.

But first you have to find out who really has the medical POA.
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