Leaving my mom with Alzheimer's for a few months to get treatment for my own illness. Any advice?

Follow
Share

Hi,
I live with my mom who has middle-stage Alzheimer's and my brother. My brother and I take care of her and at least one of us is with her 24/7. I have an anxiety disorder that is severe and my doctor suggested I should go into a residential treatment program. If I can get help with finances I think I would like to do it, but that would leave all of the care of my mom on my brother. I suppose maybe we could get home care for a while to help with showering, but we've had that before and it REALLY bothered mom to have a stranger give her a shower. I would really appreciate any input/suggestions/ideas from anyone. Thank you so much!
~Elena

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
12

Answers

Show:
Thanks to everyone for your suggestions and help. I appreciate them.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Anne, it sounds like caregiver burnout, and your brother will not be good with this while you are gone. It's time to look at an Alzheimer's facility for Mom, because you will come home feeling better, but get sick again and the cycle will repeat. Get her MD to help you with this and call your county office for the aging.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

YOU are given plenty of Advice..if you cannot take care of her 24 Hr Facilities that can
HELP Her do her Daily..eating, bathroom , etc. getting her outside..taking her places.
since u have anxieties i think she needs the Attention . Okay.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

I have been taking care of my wife for the last 3 1/2 years. In helping her I squared a hernia help her. I am the only one taking care of her. I knew I would be limited for a while after the operation. I asked our Doctor for a suggestions on what I could do with my wife during my recovery. He said putting her into rehab was the best answer. The rehab I had dealings with was very good. She was put in to rehab and I was able to see her in three day after my surgery. They keep her for about a month until I was able to take care of her again at home. The rehab was beneficial to her physically and mentally. My wife suffered a stroke 3 1/2 years ago, anemia, epilepsy and dementia. A good rehab can help your mother with Alzheimer's issue.
Never loss track that you and your brothers health is number one. Without the two of you your mother would have no one.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

A few years ago, we were caring for Al's mom and decided to send her to his brother's for two weeks. She was so much worse when she returned. Change has a bad effect on dementia patients. Once in a home for that long you might not be able to take her out again. But just putting her there may ease your anxiety disorder so that you don't have to go to the facility.

I feel for you. Bipolar is not easy to live with. I have a s-i-l who has it and causes the whole family lots of grief. Its no wonder you have anxiety.

Good luck with your decision.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

..if u cant care for her cos of ur issues..let someone take care of her okay.
she needs be in a facility so she is taken care of since u have anxiety and do not
care for her 24 hrs. she needs a professional facility.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

if you have anxiety than a 24 hr care facility will tend to her needs..
if u have issues u shouldn't be taking care of her as she needs someone that
tends to her needs.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As I have mentioned before on this forum, showering (running water) for dementia patients is like hearing fire crackling around them. (So says research at AZ State Univ.). She doesn't have to have someone give her a shower, try a sponge bath. Her bathing skills are in her long term memory bank so she should remember how to do that skill. I know sons are reluctant to bathe a mother, so get a female home health woman to come in maybe twice a week to help. How dirty could she get? Wiping her arms and legs down everyday will keep the normal bacteria at bay, and the private parts can be managed with a device which squirts water in the genital area. I bought one from a catalogue, but maybe your local Walgreens home health center has one. Hope this helps. And good luck with your treatment plan. Anxiety is a treatable condition and perhaps you just need respite yourself because caregiving for parents with dementia takes its toll on the body. Remember, this is one disease you cannot "fix". Let go...
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I have been looking into available programs for my Uncle and a social worker visited a few days ago, and told me about a program called Global Options under Medicare if the elder is financially eligible ( I need to research it on the internet this weekend). One of the perks, as I understood it, they will provide you with respite care for 2 weeks (and pay for it) , and bring a caregiver into the home 24/7 while you are away. I share your concern about overburdening your brother - probably neither Mom nor he would be comfortable with the personal hygiene tasks, and the fact that he is is bipolar (even controlled) the stress might be too much for him. I would suggest starting with Medicare and finding out what resources are available. I believe both you and your brother's health issues should be considered in the final decision of how much help they would be willing to give you so that you can get your needed medical attention.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Thanks, Perseverance and Jinx4740, for your input. Neither my brother nor I are working right now. My brother has Bipolar disorder and has difficulty working, but he's been working on learning computer programming for years to, hopefully, make games to sell. I'm glad your friend got better, Jinx! My mom has Medicare. I'm not sure about respite care. I don't know if she could stand being put into a facility even for a while. She doesn't even think she's sick. She was in rehab for a few weeks several months ago for a fractured hip, and she was like a changed person there. It was awful. She's so much better at home.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.