I'm laying beside mom in ALF - she is actively dying. - AgingCare.com

I'm laying beside mom in ALF - she is actively dying.

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Mom had a stroke Monday late morning. Was sent to ER and sent back. Can't swallow on hospice now. This ALF is superb. Brought a bed to me, some aids and nurses cried when they were told she wouldn't make it through the night. 24 hours she is still with me. They bring me food, snacks
I still can't give up. I lay her watching her breath. Constantly telling her how much I love her. I'm in denial even I know without being able to swallow this can't go on forever. I'm in shock and don't know what will happen.

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I'm sorry for your loss, but I think you were enormously blessed to have time to share your heart with your Mom. I hope you will focus on your healing and comfort now. Surround yourself with those who love and appreciate you. Hang on to the beautiful and loving parts of your Mom's passing. May God richly bless you.
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Bless you.. May you have the peace of God graciously extended to you as you grieve your Mom's passing. May you find comfort from friends who really love you, and keep your distance from those who are self-centered. May you receive the comfort you need to get through this season of loss.
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So sorry for your loss. Be strong. You are DONE with these ppl now. Enjoy the peace of mind, knowing you did what was best. God bless you.
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Orangeblossum's advice and have a private funeral. They came in a "heard" bunched up all together staying in the back of the room. Then if I left moms side they would move to the front of her casket but not close, several feet away, so they weren't paying respects as much as trying to act like they cared.
I tried to hug a nephew he turned away. He barley knew mom
The worst was when I was standing at the casket about half way through and another nephew came up and put both hands on casket, I thought he was coming up to be kind. Well, I rubbed his back and he said "don't do it". I (dumbly said) don't do what? He said very rudely, "leave me be"! So I turned to walk away, ( hindsight I Should have him to get out or at least ask why he even came)
So I turned and to my surprise, it was like moms spirit jumped in me and I turned back and said, "well, you left her be all these years, so I have no problem leaving you be". I was shocked about the whole thing. Ruined the whole day for me and I can't get past the nerve of it. It's eating me alive. No class whatever.
I'm sure in their "heard" they were seeing who had the nerve to show their "low" class. Just a few years ago this same nephew saw my daughter and she mentioned the family not speaking to me, he said, hey, I'll talk to her, that his family all they thought about was money (got that right). His mom married very wealthy after my brother died. She is the on who started the whole thing years ago. As soon as she married my brother decades ago it was only a few month before she caused the first fall out.
I'm still swimming in my head - foggy brain
So sad they ruined my moms funeral.
All those nephews and not 1 would be Paul bearer. I did catch 1 and got him to help, but had to have funeral home people and my daughters in laws do it while they stood in the back.
I had a lot of support from friends and other family, thankfully
Everyone is asking the same question. "why did they even come"
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Thank you all, again for your support. Mom slipped away on Fathers Day. My husband and I were there. It was very peaceful. I got to touch her before and after her last breath. I'm still in shock. Caught a bad respiratory infection and am still battling it - I have asthma so hits me harder.
The funeral was a fiasco. Wish I would have taken orangeblossum
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My father died of a stoke 3 years ago, and I was alone with him when he died. I think it was a gift for both of us. He was not afraid, he just slipped away slowly. I was the one who noticed that he was gone. The nurses and doctors came in, gave me all the time I needed with him, and I was able to tell him once again that I loved him. Don't be afraid. I can tell from the answers that many of us are praying. I have difficulty with sleeping and will be praying for you throughout the night. You are giving the greatest gift ..... the gift of love as someone passes away.
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(((((hugs))))) and prayers
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Prayers for you and mom.
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May God's grace be extravagant to you and your Mom during this time... and may you know His mercy and kindness continuously.
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May the Angels sing your Mom to Heaven and give you Peace in your heart. You both have fought the good fight, it is now time to rest.....Bless you both.
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