When was the last time your parents/spouse updated their Wills, POA's, etc? - AgingCare.com

When was the last time your parents/spouse updated their Wills, POA's, etc?

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My parents current Will was written 12 years ago, and in said Will are names of people who have since past on..... the way the Will had been written regarding the people listed, the words *their heirs* could be open to interpretation, like finding everyone on all the different family trees... thus heirs my parents never met could inherit some of their estate.

In my parents Will they have each other as Executor of their Will... that was fine and dandy 12 years ago, but today Mom [97] is legally blind and has lost almost all of her hearing. A second Executor was also listed, the attorney who drew up the Wills.... a general practice attorney. My parents had first used him for their real estate closing. Ok, but where is he today?

For the past year I have been hinting to my parents that they need to see an Elder Law attorney and with State laws always changing it is time to update their Wills, POA, etc. Finally got my parents into see an Elder Law Attorney. But Dad has been moving at the speed of molasses on filling out the paperwork for the Trust, which I agree are complex, it's been four months already.

Finally I decided to have the Elder Law Attorney draw up new Wills, POA's, Health Directives, etc. and leave the Trust for another time. My parents got the drafts of said new paperwork last month.... here comes the molasses again... Dad claims he's been too busy to finish reading the drafts [too busy at 93?]. Keeping my finger's crossed my parents sign all the papers this coming Monday.

Lesson learned, get all this stuff done like yesterday. Last year I updated my legal papers, now I can rest easy on my stuff.... still a basket case regarding my parents.

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I blame the insurance company. I listed my husband and work made me list my girls too. My sister didn't have a benefiary on her insurance. My brother became her sons guardian and had to go to court to establish my nephew as her closest relative.
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I thought I was keeping everything up-to-date before Mom and Dad died, but I forgot about life insurance. Dad only had Mom listed as his beneficiary and she died a little over a week before he did. I have been dealing with the insurance company as well as the VA ever since then. They won't accept a will. They insist it must go to all next of kin. My sister is uncooperative and so it is dragging out. All of this could have been avoided if I had known to check the policies.
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Even with no siblings or children, if one has an estate it is better to have it in a trust. If my sig other goes before I do, then my Attorney will be my representative, and she can deal with the estate where I had indicated what institutions will receive funds.

In my area, the doctor offices and all the hospitals are patient-computerized, thus info can fly back and forth.... the closet hospital to me already scanned a copy of my Living Will and DNR the last time I had a hospital stay, they had requested said info. Talk about timing, I never expected to be in the hospital for a stay and here I had signed all my updated legal paperwork just days prior.
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I think people have the wrong outlook of an executor. My parents will stipulated both my brother and me. When Dad died Mom redid herr will with just me. My brother lives in NC, 7hrs away. All an executor does is probate and make sure the parents wishes in the will are met. Of course sale of assets. If the executor doen't follow thru he can be sued by the others in the will. The executor can take 6% off the top. Person named as executor can hand over to someone else. Think this can be done at probate.
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If no siblings or children a DNR and livng will may be enough. Copies to doctors and hospitals u may go to. Call your local ambulance service to find out where u can leave copies in ur home so they have ur info. (Used to be a pill bottle in the refridgerator freezer)
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Cmagnum: Dad has not got dementia but paperwork of any sort overwhelms him... the slightest thing. So I shopped around and found a solicitor others had recommended for elder folk stuff like these. She was amazing! Just the right level of empathy and bossy.
My dad has some strange ideas that she talked him out of. But she has just moved away, so I need to find another.
I handled everything for him
Re mum's illness, death, funeral and estate.
But it took a lot out of me.
I think he would make me executor, and I am well aware what that entails (not looking forward to sibling dramas, but I am tough old nut, they don't scare me;)

I don't care about his money. I just know I'll be a mess when he dies, so all I want are his wishes all tidy in an envelope safe so we can all relax and enjoy dad's last years. Then when the inevitable happens the settlement of the estate will not shred me and my siblings to pieces.

Maybe I should write this down in a letter to him. Or just make the damn appt for him.
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meatjeanne, depending on the paperwork, in some cases you can name the Attorney to represent you in financial decisions.... I wanted my attorney to be the medical Power of Attorney but she said she couldn't do that. It was very difficult trying to come up with other names. It's tough when there are no siblings and no children. And when our friends disappear because we no longer have time to be with them :(
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I forgot to add the family drama detail, that when my mom re-established her own life, after dad died, she changed the will & poa to be handled by me, and the eldest male child was VERY upset, even though it made absolute No Sense to have him handle it. There are these types of man out there, one is my brother, who just assumes they are Oldest & Therefore Wisest.....and everyone should just accept that. But aactually the practical matter is, handling someone's affairs, both before & after their death, is extremely difficult from afar. It's hard to "know" your senior parent if you've only been with them a handful of times IN THIRTY FIVE YEARS. Yeah. Right. I think just about Anybody trumps a supposedly - loving child, who hardly EVER visits. Feels good to know my mom finally stood up for what she knew was the right thing to do. Even though, it is a lot of work for me, she is getting the best care this way (and it's way cheaper for me to settle her estate, than someone far away).
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Frustrated, agree with you. We gave our daughters a set time to make their minds up about College. Why, I was 36 and husband was 38 when our youngest was born. So my husband would be close to retirement when she went to College. Once retired, he didn't want a College bill. Both girls furthered their education and have good jobs. I'm here to help if needed but not to support.
POA can be rescinded by the person who had it written up. Also, null and void upon death. Its there for someone to help the person not keep them from spending.
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My parents had a basic will & poa naming eldest male child to take care of everything. Was in place for 20+ yrs until dad died. A few yrs after that, while trying to re-establish her own life, she changed both will &poa to be handled by me, since I'm the only one who does anything of substance for her. She also made me joint owner on a couple bank accounts, and I haven't needed to write checks for her but she insists that I do, just in case some day I actually need to....that way the bank won't be questioning my writing a check. The updating of will & poa seems like it should not need to be done unless there is a change in senior's desires, or a change of tax laws (which wouldn't pertain to smaller estates). Most importantly, I have an ORIGINAL copy of these 2 documents tucked away in my safe at home and my mom has them in her safe in her home.
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