Is lack of emotion normal for Alzheimer's patients?

Yes, my husband in in late middle stages. He has no reaction either to anything. I recently had surgery and he was always my best helper. Now he just doesn't have the capacity to show that care or to understand what to do. I feel alone and have lost my best friend and lover. But I realize it is the Alzheimer's and not his fault. I try to be loving to him and as understanding as I possibly can. By the way when I had the surgery, I totally lost it and yelled at him for not doing anything. Fortunately he forgot it quickly! I felt terrible, but that is what happens when I am in pain!

My Mom is the same way. It used to be she laughed about everything and we assumed it was because she didn't hear real well. Now, it seems as though nothing registers with her. She has hearing aids, but she has no reaction to anything, only once in awhile, and that is rare. I'm guessing it is another phase that they go through with this dreaded disease. We are experiencing this too, so I hope it makes you feel better that you are not alone. I know reading your comment has made me feel better. Hang in there!

My dad has alzheimers and my mom is handicapped, i take care of them both, i believe it is a normal reaction to have a lack of emotion. Dad is in Stage 7 (early) and I could talk to him and he could be looking right at me and not have any emotion, and yet other times he could have an emotion but then it goes away as fast as the reaction came. Please try not to get caregiver burnout. I did last week, and it was awful. My prayers are with you and your family...

You have to understand that this disease is affecting their brains. The disconnect is what is causing the strange behavior in them. It's all part of what is happening. The lack of emotion or the emotion roller coaster is due to the fact that all the chemicals in their brains are haywire. As puzzling as it might be at the time...just try and go with the flow. Sometimes correcting them or trying to make them understand is more upsetting. I know it's embarrassing..but people will understand when they know it's the disease that makes them that way. Dementia/Alzheimers
is a frustrating disease...and it's horrible to watch our loved ones suffer. Good luck and God Bless.

Sounds like you are going through transitions and that is a challengd dkjellander, and that period is also a challenge for your mom. Was she close to the cousin's wife? to the cousin? I find that as people's strength and skills lessen, and they can do less, they have worries of their own, and they are more able to let worries of others pass by - they often wish them well, but they have plenty to cope with, with their own losses, and sudden inability to make plans they can anticipate. As far as getting your mom out of the room so you can speak to the MD alone, I find it works best to first, begin the exit with your mom, so she is planning to go out, and even leave with her, but signal the MD that you want to speak with him or her - then be as straighforward and open as you can, for your mom will react negatively to sneakiness that she fears - and just say, just a minute Mom, I have another question I want to ask the MD, I'll be right back - and leave her as you go back. If you are pressed later, you can say, Mom, I'm trying to look out for your care, and I want to ask the MD a couple of questions. If needed, you can call and alert the MD office before you and your mom arrive, so the MD will know to hold the next pt a minute so they can talk with you. You can tell your mom, you just want to understand what the MD is saying, and you'll fill her in later. It takes some courage to change roles with our elders, but trying to be brief, matter of fact, friendly and open about the need to explore with others or do what's needed. If you had a roofing contractor, you could just say, Excuse me mom, I want to talk with him a minute - well, in this case, you are trying to explore care options, and you have a job to do also, and your mom is trusting you with it, so making moves, always ready to apologize and explain, but still make the moves, may work best.

Thanks Castle,

My mom knows my cousin well and growing up the two families had a close relationship, but this isn't the first time. When my mom's sister lost her husband, she didn't seem to emotional about it at all or when any of her friends passed. When I told her the other night about my cousin's wife having cancer, I began to think about her reactions and realized that she just doesn't seem to get emotional much.

When we had our family Christmas, one of my sisters was behaving badly, my mom was getting very agitated about her behavior, but when it comes to death I am not sure she gets it.

I figured I would take mom out to my husband at the doctor's and ask to speak with him. Sometimes I can even talk with mom around because she doesn't seem to get it.

When I talk with mom, I try to explain things in the simplest of forms and terms. I try not to go too in-depth or else she gets lost. I know when there is a lot of noise and talking she gets lost in the conversation and will not hear any of it.

Mom has a hearing loss, just not sure how much is the hearing loss and how much is the Alzheimer's at this point. I try to make things so mom can follow it, but it is challenging when others are around because they do not grasp the situation.

My mom doesn't want her siblings to know about the Alzheimer's and she won't let me tell them. This was told to me on a good day and for some things I do try to respect my mom's wishes. I believe in respecting her wishes, whether I agree or not, that is what I did for my dad when he passed. I believe that is better than doing what I think should be done. I have no guilt over it either because I did what dad wanted.

My dad's passing was tough and I thought that was enough to put a person through, but Alzheimer's is going to test me I know. At night, I give myself attitude checks so that I remember to focus on the positives and forget the negatives. But there are moments, but for the most part I do ok. I just know there are many in this group that have gone down the path before and I have learned that I prefer to learn from others lessons rather to make mistakes. :-)

My husband with dementia seems to not care about much, especially when it comes to me. For example, He remembers his parents anniversary, but not ours which is the next day. I miss the loving caring person he used to be,but hope he would of taken care of me if the roles were reversed. Very sad and lonely for me.

To castle, Bill is not on any mood changing or depression drugs. I should say that he still enjoys laughter. Which is great. He frequently makes jokes and people do laugh with him including myself. His speech is very limited and he can't find the words to express himself. But I do feel alone emotionally most of the time. I know I should enjoy what I have yet. He is still healthy, happy and taking care of his basic needs . I would have to say if I weren't there he would not eat until he became starving. I leave him a sandwich to eat if I go out.(yest I can still go out for a few hours!) He never remembers to eat unless I call him at lunch time and tell him to get the sandwich and eat it. I know i am still lucky!

twinlaura I have noticed the reluctance of people close to a loved one to give them what they consider to be "dope" even if giving it to them may be of some benefit. There is generally a lack of knowledge behind these fears. Have you suggested starting your dad on a very small dosage of haldol or ativan in order to determine how he reacts to this kind of medication ( just now I stopped myself from saying "this kind of drug" due to the negative connotation the word drug has these days which is exactly my point) ? Maybe she is concerned he might become dependant on them. Whatever the cause, and it does seem from your note that perhaps you haven't inquired of your mother as to what is behind her fear other than she doesn't want him 'all doped up' What exactly does this mean to her? Maybe if you opened up that kind of a discussion you could get at the root of her reasoning at which point you may be able to provide information to help alleviate her (understandable) concerns.

My husband is not on any "mood" or depression meds! He just doesn't express his emotions anymore.