What can we do to keep my Mom (89) from trying to empty her potty chair?

I think that at least some of our elders, with dementia, revert to the feelings of shame that were used in their childhoods to encourage toilet training. My grandma, who was born in 1884 said to me when I was a kid in the 1960's "when you had to wash diapers by hand, you toilet trained your kids anyway that you could figure out". Most of our elders were toilet trained by having them sit on toilets and strain. Bad habit. Hard to break. Can he keep her occupied with music, TV, crafts, folding socks and towels?

Get rid of the potty chair. Put on Depends or similar disposable. If she can use a walker, she can get to the bathroom, right?

Have no suggestions about how to help your brother with the current situation. However the bigger question what is the next step in Mom's care? Is brother able or willing to continue this level of care and if not, worrying about him won't solve anything some altermative plans need to be put in place for her care.

I understand that potty chairs are convenient at night if there is not a nearby bathroom. That being said, does she stay in her room all the time? Or are you talking about her using it only at night? Where would she be washing her hands if she didn't use the water that is available to her in the potty? Also, if someone is bound and determined to get up and go to the bathroom, day or night, wearing a disposable undergarment is not going to matter. My MIL has been wearing Depends panties for *years* and still toilets herself, albeit with some assistance these days. (Also, we never refer to them as diapers as that is demeaning. They are her panties) Some people do develop a phobia about their output, because we all unintentionally make a big deal out of it. Are they going enough? Too much? Too soft, too firm? etc. There is a lot of focus on this activity. And we can't help but be exasperated about middle of the night bed changes. They sense this even if they can't understand. Also, the doctor can run a test on her to see if she is emptying her bladder each time. If she isn't, then it will fill up faster and make her need to "go" more often. Also, if she leaks and feels dampness, then she may get a trigger to go to the toilet. There are medicines available to help these issues, but they come with side effects.

I should've bought stock in Clorox, I use so many cleaning wipes. Think about everything they touch with those nasty hands - ooh! (Not saying I use those on her hands, just everything else - toilet lever, light switches, door knobs etc.)

And to echo Pam, maybe brother needs to rethink the potty chair idea. If she uses a walker maybe she can get to the bathroom. Then she could flush and wash up properly. I know he was just trying to make it easier on her. Be sure that there's enough light at night to guide her. Their vision really changes as they get older. Every day is a new day with dementia. Bless y'all; he's lucky to have a sister to care about him.