She expects slaves, not care givers and when she is unhappy she yells at staff and gets other residents worked up.
She has always been a little princess all of her life and everyone is out to make her life miserable. For instance, when I said "no" to her for the first time in my life (around 1987) she did not talk to me for 8 years. When she was healthy and had her own home, she would always complain that the neighbors would send their cat into her yard to mess it up, etc... She made staff upset at her assisted living place for 5 years and I had to put out all kinds of "mom fires" to keep her there. Now that she is in the nursing home, I was really hoping the fresh start would help, but even after 4 months they are starting to talk about kicking her out. I don't know what I would do with her then. She is mentally very sharp, she just can't physically get around. We have asked the nursing home doctors if there was some "happy" pills that can given to mom so the staff can take care of her without being verbally abused. She is already on an ant depression drug.
The big problem is, when mother does have a real problem (theft, pain, etc..), I don't know when she is crying wolf or not.
I could really use help.
Thanks
Yes, I often feel like running away, and my husband says that when he retires in 3 years, we just might do that. I do have DPOA, and I am taking care of mom's finances and I live close to her nursing home. My sister lives out of state and is the main "phone call sounding board" for mom and she calls staff when needed. I show up when needed...about twice a week. I also work a full time job and a part time job, so....
Anyway, I look forward to any pearls of wisdom from you all on this.
Thank You
Do you wish yourself back to that time?
What on earth possessed you to accept the power of attorney?
None of the above helps, though. Oh boy.
Suppose you (God forbid) got knocked down by a bus. Never mind what you do with her, what would she do without you? Then, if anybody has any suggestions as to how you make her consider that proposition, maybe it would be a fresh perspective?
I'm not hopeful, though.
I do not know why she hurt so many people by doing this. But I blame the home for not trying hard enough to send her home. All they thought about was money and insulting the family and friends.
However I am 49 so still a way to go for me.
I agree with you, the only thing for a person our age to do is to learn from what we see around us and get our wishes down in black and white.
On the other hand, we can't be certain of how we'll feel about getting old until we get there. One of the great and good was asked by a reporter how it felt to turn ninety. His answer? "Better than the alternative."
So I think I will see if I can also arrange a few loopholes! x
She would spend 3 days a week at home then 2 days at the home or vice versa.
1 month at home then 1 month at the home.
And they let her do it. When I got her to hospital the home accused us of interfering. She was in a filthy state.
She would have been better off at home with carers. and maybe daycare at a decent care home. and still bothering with her friends and family. And when she took ill cleaner. and the scheme manager would have called her gp then I would have been phoned immediately instead of 9 hours after she took ill.
I told the place she stay what I thought of them.
the scheme manager where she actually lived in sheltered housing was receiving phone calls from the home. asking if she would talk to my mum.
I know about care. I have have worked with vunerable people in the past.
I do know where my mum actually lived. I will never understand why she deserted her family and friends. if she had been at home in sheltered housing the scheme manager would have phoned her gp.
I would have known immediately. She was at the residential home for no reason . They flatly refused to call a doctor and said so what . and wondered why I barred them from the hospital and the funeral. Her GP and Consultant were disgusted she was not at home with carers.