How do I keep my Mom from being kicked out of her nursing home?

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She expects slaves, not care givers and when she is unhappy she yells at staff and gets other residents worked up.

She has always been a little princess all of her life and everyone is out to make her life miserable. For instance, when I said "no" to her for the first time in my life (around 1987) she did not talk to me for 8 years. When she was healthy and had her own home, she would always complain that the neighbors would send their cat into her yard to mess it up, etc... She made staff upset at her assisted living place for 5 years and I had to put out all kinds of "mom fires" to keep her there. Now that she is in the nursing home, I was really hoping the fresh start would help, but even after 4 months they are starting to talk about kicking her out. I don't know what I would do with her then. She is mentally very sharp, she just can't physically get around. We have asked the nursing home doctors if there was some "happy" pills that can given to mom so the staff can take care of her without being verbally abused. She is already on an ant depression drug.

The big problem is, when mother does have a real problem (theft, pain, etc..), I don't know when she is crying wolf or not.

I could really use help.

Thanks

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Your mom is not their first mean patient nor will she be the last. They need to handle it. Life would be better for her and others if she were nice , but she is not and has not been( according to your post) her entire life.

Do not be embarrassed. Be extra nice to the caregivers, know their names and their children's names....try to get some nice karma for your mom. Hold them to the expectation that they will deal with her professionally. Be very nice to the administration, Ignore the "thoughts" of kicking her out.....do not encourage it....go from there. Mom won't be happy anywhere, so that cannot be your goal. Your goal is a safe and professional environment for her.
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if she is in her right mind , you should have a third party talk to her once a week . there might be a mental problem that has never been addressed.
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do not worry as after this post I am coming off this site. I will say one thing my mum lived in sheltered housing which is independent living not assisted living. and I thought this site would be helpful in fact it is had made me feel worse. Good-bye and hope all the best.
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In fact it put more on me than one could imagine. also 3 people at her funeral I will never speak to again. turned up for pickings.
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Lizzie is there a reason why you keep doing mulitple postings? Anyhow, you should start a new question because the original poster's question is being ignored imo.
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You were not there when she took ill.
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I can not understand why for a person you have never met would want to defend their actions. It caused the doctors, consultants and me and sheltered housing no end of problems.

the home was corrupted for taking her and all they thought about was money.
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At home with sheltered housing. The dump she frequented was not a place of safety. It was a disgrace. I do know what sheltered housing is she lived there for 13.5 years. I will let it go that kept going to a home when there was no need. It is obvious to me she kept frequenting a home. as she was giving up.

She had no need to go there and the authorities had never heard what my mum had done.

Your last post hummingbird infered I did not know about my mum's living arrangements. I found it extremely offensive.
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no she was not hummingbird. She did not live in assisted living. she lived in sheltered housing. Her doctor did not know she was going to the RESIDENTIAL Home to and froing. She was not supposed to be there. The manager told her frequently to go home and have carers. she did not live there she stayed there and put everyone in an awkward position. The authorities said she was entitled to day care 2 -3 times a week and carers in sheltered housing. In britain it is either sheltered housing or nursing care.

the scheme manager where she actually lived in sheltered housing was receiving phone calls from the home. asking if she would talk to my mum.


I know about care. I have have worked with vunerable people in the past.

I do know where my mum actually lived. I will never understand why she deserted her family and friends. if she had been at home in sheltered housing the scheme manager would have phoned her gp.

I would have known immediately. She was at the residential home for no reason . They flatly refused to call a doctor and said so what . and wondered why I barred them from the hospital and the funeral. Her GP and Consultant were disgusted she was not at home with carers.
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Lizzie, there are different levels in a nursing home....if your mother was able to live by herself for a month at a time, she was probaly in assisted living, which is not really care except for meals and if they fall or hurt themselves...then there is long term care, for those who cannot live alone at all, are incontinent and cannot walk. ..and there is special care with people with dementia, alz, etc (people who can walk but try to get out and are not able to know where they are. If your mother was in assisted living she was living the same as she was living in the other place...I am thinking she was in assisted living if she was able to go home and live at time.
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