MIL is able to live in her home but cannot care for her husband. Can she keep her home and put him in a NH?

It sounds as though there needs to be thought giving to getting him qualified for Medicaid. MIL is what they term a "community spouse", ie the spouse who still lives not in a nh. There are Medicaid regs that allow the spouse to remain in the home and keep assets of something like 118,000. There is something called a Miller Trust that can be established to deposit pension funds in excess do the amount of income allowed by Medicaid. Point is, you really need a lawyer to do all this. There is a MONEY AND LEGAL bar at the top of this page that will lead you to information. This is not a do it yourself project.

She really needs to consult an elder care attorney, one who is certified and who understands Medicaid. I'm hoping one of the legally savvy folks here will chime in, but it certainly CAN be done. Is the house in both of their names?

Not a DYI project. Consult a qualified legal specialist in Elder Law.

(Do you hear an echo in here?)

Nan - for your friends ONLY the husband who would be the NH resident needs to meet medicaid requirements. Only hubs needs to meet the 2k income & 2k assets. The wife as a community spouse is not expected to impoverish herself so hubs can be in a facility on medicaid.

How to best do this for a CS is quite quite different and more complicated - they need to find and work with a eider law attorney BEFORE they do the medicaid application. For couples, Medicaid tends to do a "snapshot" day in which the couples finances are based, so if they need to move $ about; or trade in 2 cars for 1; etc, they need to get things done ASAP & before the application. She should be able to get CSRA or MMNA - this is kinda like alimony for the NH set. Really look to find them a NAELA certified attorney.

It's wonderful yiu are there to help. For couples, so often the well spouse is all focused on doing whatever for ill spouse & overwhelmed & exhausted. Add to this that so often the NH gives out the wrong info on NH/CS requirements. Help her find a NAELA & help her find & ferret out whatever paperwork & documents needed to take to the attorney meeting. good luck and keep your sense of humor going!

Igloo572, and all others. Thanks so much for your insight. We have contacted an elder law attny and will see him this week. It's a relief to know how this will work. You ar so right, my MIL really didn't realize how overwhelmed and exhausted she was. It's been 3 weeks since he has been home and it's like she has renewed engergy. You all helped me via this site when I was taking care of my mom and I'm so grateful you are all here now as we start a new "journey". Will keep you posted.

Nan - let us know what the atty suggests. We all learn from each other!

Will do. The appt is set for Tues. I'll let you know what he advises. Thanks again to all of you!

Great news! Let us know how it turns out; it will be encouragment to other folks who come on here thinking that if they put their spouse in a NH, it means they will have to live under a bridge.

yes, please do! been dealing with this with hub's aunt and uncle - she's exhausted too, taking care of him, though not sure but what she's the one who needs to go - just don't know what to do - no, he couldn't stay there by himself

Looking forward to some answers to be able to help someone else. I have been considering the benefits of having caregivers come in to help, but one spouse won't allow it. It would be sad to see the couple separated after all those years together. I am aware that sounds naive. But with one spouse gone from the home, that does change the dynamics in a way that the more independent well spouse may be discovered to need help.