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Returned shortly from my weekly visit to fill up on mom's meds for the week. She needed refills for three scripts and they were ready for pickup on Saturday. Dad called me yesterday and said he didn't get the Cymbalta because it was too expensive and mom told him she wasn't taking it anymore anyway. She has been without it for two days. Mind you.....she has dementia and is not capable of making these decisions. I explained for the umpteenth time.....she cannot stop any meds without her drs. approval.....and I didn't care how much it costs (they have the money to pay).


I picked up the meds and filled her container with strict instructions for both of them.....do not mess with this. She is on a few prescriptions that require to be weaned from before stopping completely. Now she tells me she wants to go back to her "cell food" naturals (which is not cheap) because they don't ruin her brain. I made an appt. with her PC on Monday.....HE can explain it (of course she would have to wear her hearing aids that give her a headache....so that remains to be seen) because I apparently don't know anything. Other than to go over (not possible) every morning and physically make sure she takes them, I'm at a loss. They really do need to move to AL, but that's a rant for another day.


As I have said before, those of you that do this full time....you are heroes. As time goes by and my parents situation deteriorates I hope I can summon the courage, strength and PATIENCE that you all have shown through your comments. Peace,

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Your profile says mom is 99 with AZ. How's dad? AZ also? If not, I am at a loss for why he would decide not to pick up one of her meds? As you say, they have enough $ for it, so....? Not that a lot of what elders with cognitive decline or AZ do makes a ton of sense, mind you.

What is the "cell food"? A supplement? If so, probably couldn't hurt and I personally would not have doctor talk her out of it, IMHO.

If your dad doesn't/can't help her manage taking her meds as directed, maybe it's time to have a caregiver come over every AM to assist her with this and maybe do a few other things for her/them?
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Abby2018 Jun 2019
No mom is 89, dad 90. Mom has dementia. I go over twice a week and my sister does the same......mornings are just rough for both of us. As far as caregiver coming in daily.....not on their radar. I can't possibly convince him to pay for that when he refuses meds because of cost. Two very stubborn individuals.....but mom is far worse because her mindset has always been to get her own way.

Cell food is one of those so called miracle cure all natural supplements. And I'm just not sure of the interaction with all her other meds is safe. Potency suppression, etc. Although I'm not against supplements per say (I do take a few myself) I feel it unwise for her to go that route. She thinks because she feels better now she can switch. She feels better BECAUSE of her meds. I f she stops some of these altogether she will crash and burn. Hopefully the doc can convince her how necessary it is to continue her regiment, otherwise your suggestion of a caregiver might be our only option. Thank you for responding.
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Abby, I hope you're doing okay. Let us know how the appointment goes on Monday.
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Abby2018 Jun 2019
Thanks Barb
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I'm so sorry Abby, my Grandma is 90 with onset dementia too, and we're going through similar situations. How are you currently monitoring their medications? I'm having trouble myself making sure whether grandma is taking the correct pills at the correct times.

What's the hardest part of dealing with their medications as a "semi-remote caregiver?"
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Abby2018 Jul 2019
Dad is home with her and she now takes them all at once with breakfast and some applesauce. So far so good. Her PC told her explicitly if she was having issues with any of her meds, she was to contact him and to not stop taking them under any circumstances. She is on a Proton pump inhibitor to help keep stomach issues at bay. This works only because there are no midday prescriptions. Dad is in charge of her Xanax and Tramadol at bedtime. Since she is on so many meds, I fill her pill box to make sure she is taking the right pills in the proper dosages. Has been a challenge in the past, we'll see how long this will last. Probably until she reads about some "miracle" cure in a magazine, or advertisement on T.V. Sigh.
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WEEKLY VISIT... Somehow, can you get them closer to you, so you can see them more regulary?

99 years old from what I saw in an answer... \

Has assisted living or other type of senior assisted living ever entered into the converssation with your parents... especially closer to you so you can have more control or sanity?
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Abby2018 Jun 2019
Actually I live 25 minutes away and my sister lives very close. I go there twice a week and she checks in twice per week, or as needed.....just that mornings are impossible for both of us.....plus mom likes to spread out her meds during the course of the morning because she claims of stomach upset if she takes them all at once. They started this in rehab since some of them are known to cause this. Mom is 89 with dementia, dad 90. Oh yes and yes.....AL has been the topic of conversation for a long while now. Mom refuses to move or even to downsize her possessions to a manageable level. She will be assessed at the end of July to determine the extent of her dementia. At that point we will know better as to exactly what to do moving forward.
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