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I’m trying to take care of my sister. She’s had asthma, fainting problems, depression because of my mother from her terrible upbringing for as long as I can remember and now she has those problems along with fungus on her feet which makes it hard to walk and is weakening her, we’ve also had a rocky relationship due to me always being in and out of her life. She has other issues, I’m just not comfortable on speaking on. I wasn’t ready to take this on by myself. I have other siblings whom have no desire to help and I’m just a guy making only 40k trying to take care of her. We have this apartment and I’m trying to get it in order for her, but rightfully so she’s so paranoid with Covid, as I’m trying to clean I’m stressing her because I’m cleaning, but with her OCD, I’m always doing things inaccurately that can expose us. We’ve shown no symptoms and I’m trying my best here. I’m trying to focus on making a life shift and focus on my career to elevate us and get us a better living situation. Every day we are fighting and I’m really trying. I admit, I just suck at this, but I’m really trying, but I feel like I’m screwing up every time I touch something. I’m dealing with someone who is really sick and insanely OCD. It’s such a culture shift and I want to be better. I really do. I’ve wanted to get her outside help, but she refuses because she doesn’t want anyone to see her like this and she’s accurate that the people who were supposed to love her haven’t done a good job, how will a stranger. What can I do to help her?


Its so much more stressful with COVID-19, and it’s to a point where we are fighting. Well mostly it’s her screaming at me and saying I’m useless and etc. I know it’s not her fault. I’m not built for this and I should be. I swear I’m mentally drained and trying to be better daily, but she’s not getting better under my care and it gets worst when I mention outside help. I appreciate even being able to right this. I’m not good at this taking care of someone thing. I feel like sh*t because of it. I wish I was perfect at it. I really do. I’m also falling off in my career with this and it’s all we got financially. I just wish I had help. I also wish I lived my life differently was there more. I was selfish and it wouldn’t be this bad if I wasn’t so focused on my career earlier. I wish I learned balance. This is coming from a guy who doesn’t even know how to cook. If I try she’s irate because it’s a pandemic and we don’t have money for me to mess up a meal. I feel stuck.

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she needs to stay away from sugar as much as she can. I need to follow my advice. Drink more water add lemon, lemon is supposed to keep your body alkaline =neutral, which means nothing grows in alkaline.. lemon water and green tea is supposed to be really good for you.
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Quesadillas are good too. tortilla , cheese, you can micxrowave it or grill it on a pan like a grilled cheese sandwich. If sis is having issues with fungus, stay away from cheese and daily for awhile.
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NOBODY IS PERFECT AT TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE. You are doing the best you can, and accept that. Relax, have a glass of wine, and relax..tomorrow will be here soon enough. What are your making for dinner? Salad. :)
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Have her soak feet in warm water with epsom salt. She needs to keep her feet kinda dry. fungus is attracted to moisture.
Maybe she should stay away from dairy products for a bit, it could be some kind of allergy. Try using natural, cotton socks for her feet.
EPSOM SALT foot bath.
Maybe a lil bit of peroxide in with the water? Maybe not? Look online for foot fungal issues, perhaps you will find another solution there.
Her feet need to breath. Ask her podiatrist for solutions too.
Look up food alleries online and fungal issues.
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well, potatoes are hard to mess up. Stick them in the oven until you can poke a fork through it. Boil them, until they are soft enough to mash. chicken soup.. water, salt, celery salt, pepper, carrots. Bring to a boil, then simmer until chicken falls off bone. Or get an instant pot. Seriously.. it's food. My dad loved to have dinner with me. One evening we went to his house. He asked if l liked corn. Yes, dad, I do like corn. He handed me a corn on the cob... ? What? It's not cooked dad. Yup, it's good like this, now eat. okay then... Can't mess up corn on cob - raw..
Covid.. What would happen, if you just threw out the idea... well, Smoking takes more people out than covid daily from one cdc report. Try to minimize the issue of covid. Play it down just a bit. If she brings it up, change the subject. Sounds like you are keeping social distancing in check. copper is supposed to kill covid. So keep a lot of older copper pennies around, or go to home depot, and buy some copper, if you can, pipe, or rod, or something.
Salad... clean lettuce, romain, iceburg, red, whatever, add some carrots and raw corn (?) squeeze some lemon, a bit of veggie oil, salt, or garlic salt, whatever you have in the house. No need to buy bottled dressing if you like lemon or vinegar. That was our main dish growing up. with maybe a meatloaf.
Meatloaf: 1 lb of ground beef, approx.1/4 cup of chopped onion, bell pepper if you want. I didn'thave any, so I used some canned jalepeno peppers, it was ok. 1/4 cup teriyaki sauce, or if youdon't have that, some soy sauce, maybe some oragne juice or squeeze of orange juice or other fruit juice. Mix it well. and one raw egg scrambled, not cooked, and some bread crumbs about a 1/4 cup of bread crumbs. Mix well with hands or spoon. Place 1/2 mixture in loaf pan or whatever pan you have, press down, add some shredded cheddar cheese 1/r cup. Press in remaining meat mixture, drizzle some BBQ sauce or ketchup on top. Place in oven at 350 for about 40 minutes or until meat is not pink..
You are on internet, look up some recipes and follow instructions .
Tuna melts are good too. Use REAL butter. That is a must for a good grilled cheese sandwich.
Low fat things, stick with veggies. Have a good cast iron pan? Nothing fancy, just cast iron... It's my favorite pan. My family didn't like stainless for some odd reason, so now I just use my good ole cast iron..
Food is really hard to mess up unless you burn it totally into carbon. So it's dried out a bit. Just eat it, and next time choose salads...
Tuna: can of tuna drained, add some mayonaise just enough to make it stick, add some green onion if you want, a dash of cayenne if you like, a dash of pepper, taste it , relish if you like, celery if you like. Can't go wrong with tuna unless you don't like tuna..
Kraft macaroni and cheese. Then again, I say use butter. butter makes it better, but maybe not so much for cholesterol.
Spaghetti, One jar of spaghetti sauce, boil pasta to box instructions. Make sure water is at a boil first. add your pasta, then a bit of oil and salt if desired. 9 minutes usually. If sis in the house, throw a piece at her and see if it sticks. If it does, your pasta is done :) If she is not home, throw a strand at the refrigerator or wall. If it sticks then it's done.. OR,... Just cool down a bit of pasta so you don't burn your mouth and taste it.
I like my instant pot. Look on line for recipes. and both of you help out in the kitchen if you can. Good luck... You will be ok. If she says you are still messing up the food, then eat salad...
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HonestA, welcome!

How can you say that you're selfish? You are SUPPOSED to be focused on your career.

How does your sister come to need care? Are her depression and other psychiatric issues being treated? Is she seeing a podiatrist about her feet?
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