So, moved Mom in a couple months ago. She expects to be waited on, hand and foot, because she is lazy. I know how I'm going to deal with that, but here is today's main problem: She has 3 tiny, inbred, disabled, elderly, disgusting creatures she calls dogs. Two of them have no control over bowel and bladder. They immediately destroyed her bedroom carpet (of my home). They sh*t and p*ss in my kitchen which she knows was my main requirement that it is to never happen in the kitchen. My home reeks now. It's very embarrassing, especially when several different home health people come to the house each week, as it surely reflects upon me. Is Mom bending over to pick up dozens of turdlets a day? Hell no! I am. I feel, since she can't even feed or water them, that at least two of them need to go bye bye. If you think I'm being too harsh, then move along.
My mom would keep a pet LOOOOOONG past it's sell by date. I don't think we ever had a dog that WASN'T pooping and peeing all over the house. She brought an ancient dog to her apartment that was part of YBs' home. Within a month that animal had pretty much destroyed the carpet.
Along with the aging comes the tooth loss, the hair loss, the blindness, and arthritis, just like people. Mom couldn't clean up, so it fell to SIL who was NOT a happy camper about this.
My YB works in the medical field and he would get morphine or whatever and put the poor dogs out of their misery. And in case you think I am cold--these animals had zero QOL. He always told mom they'd just died in their sleep.
YB pulled up the 25 yo carpet in mom's apartment and the subfloor had been soaked in almost every corner. It made me sick to think mom lived in that!
After the last old, sick dog had passed, mom got a bird, which was fine, but then she took in 3 more 'sick' birds who filled up the small cage, and carried mites, moths and poop and flying feathers all over her place. Due to simple neglect, 2 of these birds died. 2 are still alive and we cannot find a new home for them.
Animals that cannot be cared for humanely and properly should be re-homed or put down (just b/c they can eat and poop doesn't mean they are healthy!)
You could even be reported for having animal waste in the same area as food prep is done. IDK, but it's worth thinking about.
Not all older pets(and people) are like you described,
You have thus LEGALLY made it HER home. She is a tenant now, whether she pays you rental, has a rental agreement, or no.
It is beyond my imagination WHY you did this, but you did do it. I sympathize with the outcome here, but no one is to blame for it but you, yourself, and you will now have the rather difficult (read VERY difficult) pleasure of putting your mother out of your home (see an attorney; this won't be easy) while you still can.
Once your Mother has descended into real helplessness you may be held responsible to perform the duties you took on. So time is of the essence and I wish you the very best of luck.
May your message to us here serve as a warning to others.
Both elders were removed from their home for their health and safety.
Wayyy before the animals were rescued.
Are these dogs incontinent or...Mom was too lazy to take them out so peeing and pooping are just bad habits.
I would have the two tested for renal failure. If found they have it, I may put them down. The food needed to help them live longer is expensive. My daughter paid $5 for a can of cat food he would not eat. Yes, poor baby had renal failure a year later.
If I had been in your situation, I would not have taken the dogs. So if Mom wanted to keep her dogs, she would not have lived with me. If she has help at ur house, she could have had it in her own.
Actually, the way you describe these elderly dogs speaks more about you than about them. So sad - they cannot help their behavior - it depends on also how they were trained a long time ago, but the fact that they now don't have control over their bladder or bowel should be handled with sensitivity - not the way you speak about them..."that two of them need to go bye-bye."
Bladder or bowel problems could happen to a human too - so no one knows their own fate. But, wouldn't you want someone to be kind to you?
I understand the embarrassment or inconvenience in this if someone comes to the house. You asked what to do - so here's a few suggestions - (from a dog lover):
1. You need to get doggie disposable diapers - you can find them online. They may also sell them at larger pet supply stores. Your mother's dogs aren't unique in this problem - and this is the way to accommodate their mishaps from happening. If they wear these, the problem will be taken care of.
2. You can get your carpet or floors deep cleaned - to take care of any residual odor. There are also non-toxic sprays to remove odor. It helps.
3. You can have wee-wee pads on the kitchen floor - they're also sold online or any pet store. They're disposable. Also, floor runners help.
4. You need to strongly inform your mother that it's a MUST for her to pick up after her dogs - not you. It's HER responsibility. Also, is she taking them outside on a regular basis? Maybe this situation with your mother (especially being lazy) living with you is not the best recourse - can she find an alternative arrangement?
5. Please have some kindness towards them - they are not "disgusting creatures your mother calls dogs," - as you stated - they're getting older - and they deserve some grace - just like people do. Any animal lover knows what it feels like when their fur-baby ages and they need some accommodations. I'm more fearful in the way that you describe them - it's really mean.
I hope these suggestions help ...and that you can also find a way to think of them with a kinder heart and actions...just like I assume you'd like to be treated in your older years.
I don't know when it became expected that adult children were supposed to devote the rest of their lives to their parents. I would never do that to my kids.
Both my parents had/have dogs that use the floor because they were never taught differently.
Feeding the dogs on a schedule and then putting them out can really help this situation. My dads dog had 2 accidents or potty breaks in my home, 1st one was the 1st day and the 2nd time the next day. I fed her with my dog and put her out. She learned quickly to go outside and to ask me when she had to go. A little dance in front of me, my dad thought she was playing and she went right back to using the floor at his place. So sad that people don't pay attention to the cues the animals learn to give us when they have a need.
I have a saying, two legs or four, if you use my floor as a toilet you CAN'T live in my home. PERIOD!
This is completely up to you.
You are so awesome! I love the 'Most Senseless and Useless Comment' Category.
LOL
Pets are bred for profit and sold to people who think they will be enjoyable company. They are not human. Unless you turn our whole society on it’s head, animals get very different treatment from humans. Most people eat them. If you stop that, you turn farming on its head, change the entire structure of rural communities, and alter the landscape fundamentally.
‘Being kind’ to animals doesn’t mean putting them into diapers. Certainly not according to the Bible. And there are many many people who think that the right to choose a peaceful death is the kindness they really want.
Animals may not be human but they are sentiment beings who are here to teach not just as playthings for selfish humans. They are more in tune to the spiritual world than the majority of people on this planet.
She expects to be waited on? Not. She should do everything for herself and her naughty dogs that she possible can. And then do some things towards to the household as well. Tell her that things need to change ASAP. She can be lazy plenty of the time but needs to do much better with taking care of things.
The dogs sound utterly disgusting and there's no way I could tolerate this! Does your mom take them out at all? If not, it's time for her to learn. Or have her to pay to put in a fenced in area and she can put them out in there every couple of hours, as needed. She'll also need to pay to have the carpet replaced. Are they crate trained? If so, they need to be in their crates a lot more than they are.
You don't want them in your kitchen? Put up some gates.
She seriously doesn't even feed and water them? Well, I think she needs to start or else those little critters are going to suffer. She's got to step up and take some responsibility!
Unbearable. I'm glad to hear that you have a plan for dealing with the expectation of being waited on hand and foot and wish you all the best on that one.
The dogs, how awful. It's so sad that puppy mill dogs, so adorable when little pups, end up as wretched adult creatures that barely know enough to survive in the home. I did a very brief stint as an in-home care provider many decades ago and a client had one small dog like that. The LR carpet had been covered with poly in some effort to save it from the constant urine and droppings. The dog scratched through that and the result was a reeking mess both under and above the poly sheeting. And yes, the client would come into the room with a handful of turds like they were a prize to share. Sickening. I cannot imagine having your own home destroyed by these poor things.
You absolutely must have them rehomed. It is possible that some kind and competent elder, in need of canine companionship, would adopt one of them and perhaps both can be found good homes. It does sound as if the most humane thing to do would be to have them euthanized, an alternative to living in neurosis in a shelter for the rest of their poor lives. I completely love dogs and cats; they are family members, but I will not keep one that messes in the house. I provide extra litterboxes and have had a couple cats that wouldn't use any of the three; they got rehomed, at my expense.
You have more than enough on your hands and have to draw the line. You cannot have your home destroyed by pets that she likely doesn't care for all that much. Maybe allow her to keep one and see if it's trainable, if not, contain it in one room and let her enjoy its affection but you'll have to figure out some kind of sanitary means of coping with the mess and keeping mom from handling feces - and then touching every surface in your home. Yuck.
It may be helpful to know that Lysol makes a laundry deodorizer that is non-bleach and works wonders on any type of animal odors. Use that product on all fabrics, carpets and non-porous surfaces. It works like magic, truly. Once you deal with those poor creatures, you can get the odor and the stains out of the carpet, just do not allow the remaining one to become a problem or to soil your kitchen.
I don't know how you'll manage to get mom to let go of them, but it must be a condition of her remaining in your home. Period.
I wish you all the best in this and in having mom settle in. And do try that Lysol product, it will end the odor problem, once the sources are humanely taken care of.
Best to you.
Not fair to your kids (or healthy!) for them to live in such a disgusting situation.
Why did you take Mama in?
Reverse that.
You have to put your children first as a mother. And as it is your house, it is your rules.
Mom isn’t going to like it, but she’s going to have to live with the facts.
Margaret McKen is about the only person on this thread who's speaking sense. She is correct. The OP wanted to know how to get rid of the dogs. Not how to become a biblical scholar and expert in the prevention of canine incontinence.
@BurntOutWoman
Why did you let your mother bring her dogs in the first place? Here's how you handle this. Tell mom that the dogs are going to a shelter or her and her dogs can all go live under a god**mned brigde. Then find a shelter who will take the dogs and maybe a care facility who will take her.
And also, the OP really needed to write an entire post just to figure out "how to get rid of dogs? It's pretty basic if that's all she wanted!
Does she need dog poop, clean smelly floors? Rhetorical question.
Anyway, neither here nor there. I love animals, is my point. But there is a big difference between pets and humans. When animals lose control of their bowels and get incontinent both ways, we have to consider putting them down. B/c that incontinence is usually due to disease that can't be treated, at least in the case of my Kirby who had an immune system disease that caused him to pee everywhere uncontrollably. My mother was incontinent too, but we couldn't 'put her down' but put her up in a $6700 per month Memory Care ALF until God chose to take her home.
Yes, this thread has gotten silly and I stayed out of the discussion (pertaining to the issue the OP posted) until now, when I felt I had something equally silly to add to it.
What you 'should do' OP is reclaim your own home now. Have mom pay to replace the carpets/floors her dogs decimated, and then either rehome these dogs or put them down if they are old and sickly and cannot be cured of what ails them. I had to do that twice and with God's help, I will NEVER have to do it again b/c it's a horrible thing to do and it hurts more than anyone should ever have to bear. Your mother is not capable of properly caring for these 3 dogs, so she should not have them, especially in YOUR home. If your mother is lazy and expects to be waited on hand and foot, then it's probably time for you to rehome HER, too, to an ALF or somewhere where she can pay others to deal with her laziness. You've done enough for her AND for her 3 dogs.
And as for Margaret, sheesh, I'd say you're 'stirring the pot' something fierce with what you say about ridding your farm of pesty cats. Here in Colorado, we trap annoying animals in cages too. But then they're driven up to the mountains and released, rather than shot or asphyxiated with exhaust fumes :(
Good luck to you.
So, I get that some of you may have thought the idea of doggie diapers was "ridiculous and absurd" - and possibly funny. Well, I also named other things too, like wee wee pads, etc....and I did reiterate a few times that the OP sounded overwhelmed and asked what to do - so, as a means of providing some immediate relief so she could step back, take a breath, and sort out the best decision and outcome for her particular situation, I provided some brief options in the interim.
But, for all of those "hecklers" out there jumping on the bandwagon thinking this is absurd, I get it..and I do understand. But, I'm a New Yorker, and you'd be surprised the lengths that some will go for their fur babies here!
Ironically, this OP never has responded since - and there's so much she left out - such as - are the dog's really incontinent?"....or is her lazy mother just not taking them outside?...so what else are the dogs supposed to do - walk themselves? And, these dogs may not have been trained properly and they're in an unfamiliar house - there's a lot of factors - who knows what the situation really is. And, it's not like the OP didn't know the dogs were older before she moved them in. And she termed some as disabled - but didn't specify how so? So, I am certainly not encouraging maintaining a dog's life if they're suffering - that would not be humane. But for me, I didn't have enough information in which to base any real decision on.
And that is it - but I can easily say that I don't foresee ever proving anyone advice for doggie diapers ever again - learned my lesson! :)