Since setting "boundaries" for myself, reading many eldercare books, and posting/reading on this forum, I realize that my unhappy & controlling mother in an assisted living facility will never be happy again. She's calling our phones (goes to voicemail), threatening to not take her medications, & wanting her living will to be utilized so she can die (doesn't understand what LW truly is). I hear again ALL the bad things about me & her AL place that she's been saying for 2 years. It's a broken record & I've tried it all! She's asked to go to an Internal Medicine dr, so it's coming up in 3 weeks. Now, she's saying cancel appointments, not taking meds, and requesting to die. These are ALL reactionary stabs at me because she wants out of this assisted living place (nice place) & move out on her own (impossible). She's threatening to get her church involved in this & still threatening to hire a lawyer! This manipulative behavior is her way of gaining control of a life that hasn't been happy, loving, or positive in decades. She's almost 89, hasn't been officially diagnosed with dementia, & is refusing any type of depression/anxiety medication except low dose of Xanax at night. The NP knows she's just uncooperative & says unfortunately, this is all she can do.
I know she needs a psych evaluation. How do I get her this without taking her myself (she'll be kicking & screaming)? Could the AL facility & NP make this happen? My presence as her durable power of attorney would only make this worse for her. She despises me, hits me, curses me, & blames me for all her ills.
Is there an agency I can see for guidance?
You guys have been awesome & gotten me this far. I truly appreciate every piece of advice!