Is this change in behavior and reasoning normal?

"I did talk to my PCP and she also told me to be prepared and to watch for the anger . .....I do really appreciate this forum, it let's me to talk to others in the same situation."

Kookie, you wrote this a while back. He needs to go back to the doc for meds to address his mood issues.

I just wanted to share something that my LO told me when she was in early stages of dementia. (She was diagnosed with VD, but, later doctor thought mixed with AD.) She seemed much happier at home and with me around, because, I brought her comfort. She would tell me that things seemed like a dream a lot and would ask me if things were real. She was easily confused and if I was there to explain and be her support, it made her more comfortable. I found that outings were not a treat for her. They scared her. She was confused easily and that embarrassed her. She was more comfortable being in her own environment where I was taking care of her and protecting her. She would often say, I trust you. Later, she agreed to go to AL, for the same reasons. Being alone became too scary, plus, she began to worry and cry a lot. She would also have outbursts, but, they dissipated over time. Plus, she went on meds for anxiety/depression and that helped a great deal. Different people act differently, though, so, you can't count on anything.

Kookie, the stages are only guidelines, every person with dementia will present differently. There are no two cases the same. His symptoms and behaviors will be all over the map. Behaviors become unpredictable. They all reach the point that travel and excess stimulation become impossible. The less change in daily routine, the better. This is the world of dementia.

Is he taking any meds? Sounds like he is experiencing some paranoia, there are meds that will help with that.

As Barb said, get him to the doc. Is he seeing a gerontologist or neurologist? Often times General practice docs are not familiar with appropriate treatments. And if at first a med does not help, let the doc know and request another to try. It often is trial and error to find a med that will work effectively.

Find yourself and daughter caregiver support groups.

This sounds like a repeat of my dad. And he was NEVER an angry person growing up but his outbursts are constant now and he is oh so frail. At age 93, we just had to move him to assisted living (doctor's orders) and so far it is a disaster. He just wants to go home but it is not safe. He will be fighting this move in the court (I am guardian/conservator) but he now requires 24 hour care -- $22,000-plus dollars a month to stay at home. I think he likes it there because it is what he's known for the last 35 years but it is no longer safe for him. Yesterday, I agreed to bring in caregivers 3 days a week in addition to the cost of the assisted living. We moved his car to the assisted living facility and they will be able to get him out on errands just as they always have. I told him we would have to cut back on this at some point after he gets settled but that may never happen. He is also not happy that I have now forwarded his mail to me so it is not sitting in his mailbox at his house when he is not there (he was checking it numerous times per day). I will start putting in change of addresses to the assisted living facility for many of his bills so he can be getting some mail. Baby steps. Too many changes at once.

"He has a neurologist, but he doesn't want to see him because he gave him the bad news of it being Alzheimer's . I've talked to our family doctor and they feel the next step may be prescribing antipsychotics....."

This makes life difficult... Any chance of getting the neuro and PCP to coordinate, so he goes but doesn't "see" the neuro, but gets the testing needed? Sometimes we all (docs included) need to compromise. Maybe telling him (fibs) that the test might provide a way to help him (isn't really a fib - no cure, but any meds that can relieve some of the symptoms...) He clearly is aware of the Dx and of how he has these issues, maybe he would be more willing to go if he thinks something might help?

kookie, this is surely shocking and sad! And he’s still got so much going for him. I’d read, read, read, and find videos on YouTube. We can’t plot their course per se, but it helps to know about the various things that can set them off and then work around. My 87-yo mother has a similar profile to what you describe, has had vascular dementia for years, and still her memory isn’t that terrible. But the social, emotional issues can be real hard to navigate. Blessings to you all.

Dementia sufferers do best with routine and usual surroundings. Anything "new" can confuse, irritate, or scare them. So anger and even violence can be a reaction to this "threat". He may be experiencing anxiety since he knows he has Alzheimer's and knows it is progressing. Try to create a restful environment at home with reliable routines. Also, check with doctor about meds that might help him relax.

By the sounds of what you and your husband are going through requires his medication to be adjusted. Traveling can be very upsetting to those with Alzheimers, because there is so much going on at once. Over stimulation to their senses. I found this to be true when I was Mom's caregiver and now my husband. It is a good idea to keep activities and environment as calm as possible. It will be easier on you too.

I find saying, "That's ok" often is also calming. When my husband starts to get upset about his loss of memory, etc. My calming words of "that's ok" and then changing subject helps.

My informing family members not to be surprised at anything he says or does, but to handle it by not reacting, and change subject or focus. Agree with him, change subject. Never say I told you that, or remember. I have to remember, he can no longer learn and has forgotten most of what he did know. "That's ok". All of the above has been a great help to all. We live in the moment, I try not to think about what might be ahead. The saying....Don't try to cross the bridge til you get to it, no one has been successful doing that so far! It is a journey of one step at a time.

The phrase is: "If you've met one person with dementia, you've met one person with dementia." In other words, dementia has a different impact on different people. There is no "normal."

I certainly agree he should not be driving if he has bouts of road rage. You will have to try different approaches--trial and error--to see what works best. You might find it helpful to take a look at a 50-page pamphlet/book by Jude Welton, "Can I Tell You about Dementia" (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2013) because it does a good job of explaining how a person with dementia sees himself. However, your husband sounds much more aggressive than the imaginary person in this book.

As several people have suggested, a prescription of some kind could be helpful to treat the aggression and anger. There are no medications that do much to stop dementia, although it can be slowed a bit. However, the behaviour changes in dementia can be treated, but you need to get the doses very accurately to treat the specific behaviour.

I hope this is helpful

I think my mom's memory was also okay for a little while, but her moods were all over the place and there was a lot of paranoia. She still likes to go out once in a while, but mostly she just wants to be "home", which is now assisted living. Anything new has confused her for the last 10 years.

My former boss was diagnosed with Alzheimers 10 years ago. We had all at work noticed the changes in his behavior before that, but he could teach art history brilliantly. He retired, and called me one day to tearfully report his diagnosis. They gave him 6 to 10 years to live. But now when I see him at parties or the grocery store he knows me immediately and remembers all the funny, interesting, and tragic happenings about me from when I worked with him. He is different, yes, but compared with my mom, who was diagnosed at about the same time, he is doing so well. As others say, it is different for every person. However I do intend to ask his wife what he is doing to have stayed so much in the world.

I think for your husband it would be good to plan the outings in some way that won't be confusing, such as making sure there won't be a lot of traffic at that time, explaining constantly what is happening, where you are going and what to expect when you get there. Wherever you go make sure there won't be a lot of unexpected noises and a lot of movement. If there are, explain what is going on to him.